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Friday, November 29, 1985 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
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OBSERVATIONS
Return to Orthodoxy
Splits Israeli Family
BY CARL ALPERT
Special to The Jewish News
is the legitimate right of each
Haifa — Under any circum-
individual to choose his own
stances the public airing of a
way of life. Where have all
family squabble is an embarras-
these fine principles vanished
sing and unpleasant sight, yet
now?" he asked. She has slan-
in recent weeks the Israel public
dered his religious way of life,
has been witness to a household
he wrote, but he will not attack
controversy which deals with a
her secular way of life. "I may
major issue going far beyond the
have abandoned what she calls
immediate confines of the kin-
modernity — that modernity
ship circle. The problems in-
which gave birth to Nazism and
volved may begin with the rela-
to the permissive society which
tionship between parents and
is leading to demoralization of
children, but they concern also
our youth. I am true to the prin-
matters of religion, loyalties,
ciples of my grandfather, a
liberalsm and democracy.
The Meller family of bearded man whose picture
hangs in an honored place in my
Beersheva have four children.
mother's house. What hypocrisy
Head of the house hold is Dr.
she practices. In her generation
Dan Meller, a physician and fa-
the children abandoned the
culty member at Ben-Gurion
ways of their parents so cruelly
University. His wife, Dr. Sophia
Meller, also teaches at the uni-
that the parents sat shiva and
verisity, in the life sciences. The
mourned for them. Why was it
permissible then, but when I re-
problem involves their son, Ofer,
turn to my heritage it is called a
24, who after service in the Is-
rael Army was drawn to Or-
tragedy?"
As for not bringing the grand-
thodox Judaism, and four years
children to visit, he wrote, when
ago underwent a complete revo-
he did come with his little son,
lution in his way of life, leaving
the mother secretly fed the child
home to become an extreme ad-
forbidden food. Can that be ac-
vocate of Jewish traditionalism.
cepted as an honorable matter?
There has been a groundswell of
Soon, Ofer's father responded
such "conversions" in Israel, and
in a daily paper. His tone: After
uncounted numbers of young
all we did for the boy during his
people have "gotten religion"
childhood, he 'now turns his
and become new-born Jews, or
back on us. He broke our hearts
as they are called, hozrim
and was a traitor to our way of
b'tshuva.
Ofer's mother wrote a bitter
article in a weekly magazine,
accusing Orthodox "mis-
sionaries" of breaking up
Ofer's mother wrote
families by tearing away the
children. She charged that the
a bitter article,
rabbis brain-washed young
accusing Orthodox
people at an impressionable age,
turning them into parasites who
"missionaries" of
live on charity. Her son, she--
said, had been led astray, and
breaking up
now turned his back on all that
families.
was fine in modern life —
music, art, literature, theatre,
dance, television, sport, science.
His life had been ruined, and
that of his parents as well. Her
life. We have nothing in com-
son would not eat in her house,
mon anymore. The father wrote
and would not even come there
that Ofer does phone from time
lest his children, her grand-
to time to ask about his welfare,
children, be led astray there.
and brings presents, but this is
How can parents maintain
regarded as words only. In
contact with their children who
reality, the son has detached
are light years away from them,
himself from his parents.
she wailed. What of respect for
The father was asked if he
mother and father? She is asked
would prefer that his son be-
to accept this with love and
come a drug addict. His reply:
understanding? Her article was
"As a physician I know the ter-
alternately caustic and plain-
rible harm drugs can do, but I
tive, but acrimony was domin-
also know that there is a way to
ant.
be cured; from this drug called
The debate was taken up in
extreme religion there is no re-
hundreds, perhaps thousands of
turn."
similar families, some agreeing
Two weeks later Ofer replid in
with Dr. Meller, and some con-
the same daily. Out of respect
demning her because she was
for his parents, he said, he
unable to accept her grown son's
would not enter into a disputa-
independent decision in life.
tion with them over his personal
After what must have been
case; instead he proceeded to
considerable soul-searching,
discuss the matter of the
Ofer replied in the columns of
newly-religious Jews in general.
the same magazine to what he
He rejected the charge that they
called his mother's "demagogic"
have been brainwashed, and
article. He was saddened to read
noted that among them are
the hatred and poison poured
many professional people,
out by a Jewish mother against
lawyers, doctors, army officers,
her son because he had returned
entertainers, intellectuals, etc.
to Jewish tradition.
It is absurd to claim that all,of
"My mother, liberal and these have been caught in a
nefarious web of the Orthodox
democratic, always taught me it
V szk- 47-- .: 4;
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