THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS Friday, November 15, 1985
officials were unwilling to mention
the subject on the record.
By whatever means, however,
upgrading the quality of teachers
alone can hardly solve the problem.
Here, the old lament about parental
involvement is in fact piotal. "Chil-
dren live in two culures," asserts
Chicago's Chana Reich. "And let's
face it, the Jewish culture is fre-
quently less important. Worse, much
of the Jewishness kids learn is often
irrelevant at home. Parents need to
provide the children with a deeper
Jewish experience. The way it is
now for many, the Jewish experience
is just tacked onto their normal life
experience, instead of being an in-
trinsic part of it."
A proper understanding of reli-
gious school will never be grasped so
long as many parents look upon it as
a mere bar mitzvah service.
Educators admit that as the bar
mitzvah became an ever-growing so-
cial ritual over the years, they often
cial
tailored their programs to appeal to
that desire. "Consequently," explains
Detroit's Dr. Paul Feinberg, UHS
president, "kids and parents saw
their bar mitzvah as the end of their
Jewish education."
The fact that many parents
allow their children to drop out after
bar mitzvah, sometimes permitting
the children themselves to make the
decision, illustrates the glaring con-
traduction in parental values. The
same mother and father who pres-
sure their child to excel and score
high marks in secular school, don't
mind abdicating the Jewish educa-
tional decision to a 13-year-old. You
wouldn't stop your children's general
education at age 13, why stop his
Jewish education," says Rabbi
Kellman of California's East Bay
AJE. "And certainly, a 13-year-old
should not have the power to make
that decision for himself, as he
sometimes is allowed to do."
Indeed, many educators have
developed an aversion to the bar
mitzvah endpoint ethic. At least one
Chicago synagogue, Cong. Solel lo-
cated in Chicago's affluent North
Shore, voted in 1957 to stop provid-
ing bar mitzvahs altogether. Start-
ing about ten years ago, so-called
"underground" bar mitzvah's were
allowed, that is, they were not for-
mally "sponsored" by the congrega-
tion. Only in 1984 did Solel change
their policy altogether, and rename
the practice of congregation-
sponsored bar mitzvahs.
During the abstention period,
however, Solel's philosophy trickled
down to the students. Dalia Golds-
tein, now 23, recalls why she passed
the traditional social rite. "It was
my personal decision," says Golds-
tein. In my mind, too many kids
were having big parties and losing
29
the whole meaning behind it. So I
the child can turn against Jewish
said to my mother that I would just
learning and religion — indeed all
While Detroit's
like to read from the Torah. She
things Jewish."
central funding has
agreed. And that's what what I did.
One concerned parent recalled a
One Friday night, I read from the
study taken some years ago that
produced a healthy
Torah. I just didn't have a big party
asked incoming college freshmen to
and call it a bat mitzvah. I believe
cite their best and worst Jewish ex-
minority waiting to
you should study Torah and
periences. Respondents could not
extend its influence,
Judaism. The goal is not to just have
agree on their most favorable Jewish
a big party."
experience, but the overwhelming
other cities are Just
majority named Hebrew school as
The bar mitzvah syndrome in-
starting.
their worst. Those freshmen are to-
deed has become less a threshold of
day's parents. Inasmuch as Hebrew
Jewish identity and education, and
school was — and today's religious
more of a corrupter. One educator
school is — a dominant Jewish fac-
declared what everyone knows, that
tor for many young Jews, it is no
the party is becoming far more im-
wonder that so many of them are
portant than the ceremony." Shades
searching for their identity.
of Duddy Kravitz make clear that
Neither is it a wonder that so
obsession with the bar mitzvah as an
many of them have been become the
endpoint not only stunts Jewish
prey of campus recruiters for bizarre
identity, but given enough glitz and
ideologies and even religious cults.
gall, can pervert it.
The membership rolls of Hare
Certainly, there's nothing wrong
Continued on next page
with a big party to celebrate an im-
portant attainment for the youngs-
ter. But educators today want that
party counterbalanced with the
Judaic aspect. Hence, schools are
now insisting that bar mitzvah can-
didates do more than "simply
memorize their chants," asserted one
Chicago teacher. "They have to
understand what the portion means
in English, and why it's important.
We also have them list the mitzvot,
and tell us which in particular they
intend to follow."
Yet, youngsters have almost
been conditioned to fixate on the bar
mitzvah as the Jewish equivalence
of "coming out." It is for many the
only redeeming value of religious
schools. "Ask any child in religious
school," says Dr. Feinberg, and
nearly all will say they would rather
be outside playing. The teacher is
therefore confronted with the child
in a negative position right from the
start. We therefore have an uphilll
battle fighting for the child's inter-
est. We use VCR videos and innova-
tive computer programs to capture
their attention. And our strong
women's auxiliary encourages a
Jewish camp experience. But still we
know that forty percent of the kids
receive no Jewish education at all.
We have a committee set up trying
to reach those kids and one method
is a weekly youth program in con-
junction with B'nai B'rith youth
groups."
Hopeful programs notwithstand-
ing, Jewish education is clearly vul-
nerable in the mind of a Jewish
youngster living in his assimilated
world where Jewish culture is the
lessor of two he knows about. As
such, he can be easily turned off.
"Remember," says Chana Reich, if a
student has a bad experience with
geography in his public school, if a
child has just one bad experience,
Michael Schwartz, rear, and Mark Lebovitz are enthusiastic participants in their class.
say a teacher he doesn't like, then