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THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
Friday, October 11, 1985 21
For The
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S ee
LARRY KAPLAN
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pen to your child than have
him marry outside your faith,
no matter how important that
is to you." Cautiously, they de-
cided to give Belinda,
Michael's fiancee, a chance,
and to try to get to know her.
Knowing her, they found her to
be, in Zach's words, "a won-
derful, wonderful human be-
ing."
"Right away," said Sylvia,
"she called 'Ma' and 'Pa.' She
showed such respect for our
religion, and I think that's be-
cause she's religious herself.
That was the part that sur-
prised us."
"We were thinking at first
that maybe she would convert
to Judaism
" Zach went on. "We wanted
that very much. But then when
we realized how religious she
was, we said to each other,
'How can we force her to give
up her religion? How would we
feel if he gave up his?' So we
didn't pressure them about it.
Now, what's interesting is that
he became more Jewishly reli-
gious because of her. To make
that possible, she keeps a
kosher home. She called up
Sylvia and asked her all about
the dietary laws. We were thril-
led."
"I'll tell you," Sylvia moved
in again, "all our friends adore
her now. Truthfully, I still get a
pang in my heart when I attend
a friend's child's wedding, and
it's a real Jewish wedding, and
Michael was married by a jus-
tice of the peace. Then I think
about her good qualities, and
how he told me he couldn't live
without her, and that has to be
enough. You learn a lot when
you're a parent, and especially
when you've been hurt. You
learn what you can insist on
and what you should keep
quiet about."
"We're keeping quiet about
something else now," Zach
said. "We're really keeping out
of something we both have
strong feelings about."
"You mean their not having
children?" Sylvia looked at
him.
"Yeah."
"They've decided not to have
children." She turned 'to me.
"They feel that in this world it
would be too hard for a child of
racially and religiously mixed
parents, even with all the
changes these days. Zach and I
think they're making a big mis-
take; we're longing for a little
grandchild from them, and be-
lieve me, I never thought I'd
feel this way. But they made a
life for themselves and they
know what's right for them. I
don't think it's our place to say
anything."
For the Newmans, the jour-
ney to that point at which they
could accept their own place in
relation to their son and his
wife had to be a difficult one. I
admired them for having made
it, and I admired Michael and
Belinda for having given them
the time and the chance to
make it, without pressing on
them or each other while they
did.
noon
won't be careful." It's more com-
TeD, I
forting to her to hold him respon-
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than to face the fact that much of
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another. "You realize over the
years," he said, "that you really
want to do things for each other.
At first you're obliged to do
things, later you want to. We got
accustomed to living together,
and we shaped our lives together,
shaped them up to one single
point, to one entity, and that is our
marriage."
Is it a "creative" marriage or a
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"survivor" marriage (to use the
All
sociologists' latest categories for
Shoe
marriage among the elderly)?
Neither. Both. I don't know. They
Organizers ...
have had a long life together and
Including
many marriages within, and they
treasure all of it.
Shoe Drawers
I watch them on Rosh
Thru October
WE'RE EXPANDING ...
Hashanah Eve as they prepare for
the holiday. My father has spent
MATTA MESS!
most of the afternoon dressing, a
slow process for him. He is ready
to leave for synagogue now to pray
for the New Year. My mother will
go with him tomorrow, but to-
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"Remember," she says, "if you
get tired walking, stop and rest.
You don't have to be the first in
the synagogue."
NEW FROM FRANKLIN:
"But I don't have to be the last
either," he answers, teasing about
Rabbi Judah Nadich
her constant worries.
She brushes a piece of dust from
Klagsbrun's Married People is his shoulder. He leans down and
not necessarily a Jewish book. In kisses her on the lips.
"Happy New Year," he says
the excerpts just alluded to it as-
sumes a Jewish image. Then softly.
"Happy New Year,"she an-
comes the revealing "Epilogue."
That's where Klagsbrun tells her swers. She looks at him for a sec-
own family story. It is, in a sense, ond, then kisses him back." And
another case history. It is the next year again."
Francine Klagsbrun adds glori-
story of her parents and their
ously to her excellent record as
married devotions of 61 years.
FRANKLIN MICHIGAN INSURED TAX-FREE INCOME FUND
This addendum, which may researcher and author. Her Mar-
strike the reader as a surprise ried People is an inerasable con-
confessional on the author's part, tribution to the subject that
taxable investment. You pay no
For the first time, Michigan
also emerges as a fascinating de- plagues many. They now become
federal
or state taxes on the
more
signifiantly
enlightened
on
taxpayers
can
now
invest
in
an
scription of unparalleled devotion
actively managed mutual fund monthly income from this Fund.
by one family to faith and to mar- problems that are otherwise ap-
Every municipal bond in the
ried partnership, to dedicated palling. .
which proVides double tax-free
Fund's portfolio is insured,
life's labors, to support family and
income. from a portfolio of
the link with Jewish traditions
guaranteeing timely payment of
insured ' municipal bonds
and with the culture that sustains
principal and interest. How-
issued
in
Michigan.
•
family and people.
State Dept.
ever, the value of the Fund's
Tax-free income and
Her father had a stroke, and
shares is subject to market
Depending
on
insurance.
with partial recovery life pro- Post Filled
fluctuation. Ask for a
ceeded, cheerfully, courageously,
your tax bracket, you
Washington (JTA) — Richard
free prospectus now.
traditionally. Such a marriage
could
pay
up
to
$530
serves to elevate the daughter's Schifter, United States represen-
The terms of the insurance are more
in
federal
and
state
fully described in the prospectus.
studies to especially elevatihg tative to the United Nations
income taxes for
No representation is made an
heights, notably in the following Commission for Human Rights
to any insurer's ability to
since 1981, has been nominated
every $1000
\zk
tribute to parents:
meet its commitments.
by
President
Reagan
to
be
Assis-
earned
from
a
Sometimes they become cranky
FRANK!
tant
Secretary
of
State
for
with each other. He complains
Human Rights and Humanita-
FIRST OF MICHIGAN CORPORATION
about her continuing frugality, a
23400 Michigan Avenue
trait that goes back to the early rian Affairs. He will replace El-
liott
Abrams,
who
has
been
Village Plaza/Suite 103
days when she had to stretch a
named
Assistant
Secretary
of
Dearborn, Michigan 48124
very lean budget. "I had to argue
(313I 277-0300
State for Inter-American Affairs.
MICHAEL RUDY
with her to give the painter a de-
1.800-662-8775
•
The
62-year-old
Schiffer
was
JUDITH
SMITH
cent tip," he called to tell me one
also Deputy U.S. Representative
Please send me al prospectus containing more complete information about the
day. "Why does she worry about
Franklin Michigan Insured Tax•Free Income Fund, including charges and expenses.
to the U.N. Security Council in
money when we have enough to
I will read it carefully before I invest or send money.
1984-1985. A Washington
live on?" But he knows they have
enough to live on because she has lawyer, he has been a member of
Name
always watched every penny. She the U.S. Holocaust Memorial
Council since 1980.
complains that he doesn't eat
Address
Born in Vienna, Austria, Shif-
enough or take good care of him-
ter
is
a
graduate
of
the
College
of
Phone
City/State/Zip Code
self. Once, visiting us, he lost his
the City of New York and Yale
balance and fell. She cried, "Oh
(Member $10 Billion Franklin Group of Fuid)
MICHIGAN 2
Law School.
no! You see how he is? He just
NOW WE
CAN'T
HELP BUT
MUTTER
ABOUT
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20%
MICHIGAN'S FIRST ACTIVELY
MANAGED, INSURED, DOUBLE
TAX-FREE INCOME FUND
.1MV ■ 104 ,.
t ∎