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THE DETROIT-JE-WISH NEWS

47 -

Friday; -June 7, 1985

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LISTENING POST

11

DANNY RASKIN

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' Voted

petroit Free Press

Detioit News

Channel 7
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IMPORTANT RUSSIAN

commissar laying in an oxygen
tent felt that he was going fast
... Weakly, the commissar
whispered to his chief assistant,
"Ivan, I only have a few minutes
left, I want you to know I'm
leaving you everything — my
house, my farm, my electric
heater. Ivan, everything goes to
you. All I ask from you in re-
turn is one last favor." ... The
assistant exclaimed eagerly,
"Yes, yes, Commissar. Any-
thing, anything at all. What is
it?" ... Feebly, the dying man
murmured, "Please take your
foot off the oxygen tube."

ART IN THE SQUARE,

seventh annual art fair at
Applegate Square, Northwestern
and Inkster, June 14-15, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m. is always a festive and
much-awaited event ... Profes-
sional artists from around the
) state will exhibit and sell their
works in the outdoor fair . .. in-
cluding localite Marilyn Schech-
ter, Stuart Shulman, Lawrence
Braun, Ethel Levine, Valerie
Kraft, Audrey Shapiro, Linda
Talan Jacob and Sue Leon.
CONGRATS . . . to Mort
Baker ... on his 62nd birthday
... Wife Elaine Kahrnoff Baker
is food purchasing coordinator at
Henry Ford Hospital.
SHIRLEE HARRIS at Bir-
mingham Theater, N. Wood-
ward, can't rave enough about
Kuni-Leml now appearing with
Shelley Berman ... It's the
show that captivated Broadway
. . . and she is seeing people
coming back again and again
. . . Scheduled Kuni-Leml run at
‘, Birmingham Theater is through
June 30.
REMEMBER THOSE Mar-
tian stories people came up
with? ... The fad is back ...
Like guy from Mars who ambled
into a bar and cornered the
gaily lit-up juke box ... Giving
'D., it the once-over he crooned,
"What's a doll like you doing in
a joint like this?" ... Or how
about the two gents from outer
space who zoomed into New
York for a night on the town ...
Sidling up to a fire hydrant one
asked, "Where is your leader?"
. His buddy remarked, "What
are you asking him for — can't
you see he's just a kid?" . . .
Here's one about the Martian.
who landed in New York and
went right to IBM headquarters
... He found the machine that
they used to feature on one of
those big quiz prograrris and
said sternly, "All right. You've
had your fling in show business,
now you're coming home."

SO THIS DUNGAREE clad

-

Martian lands at the Actors
Studio and mumbles, "Take me
‘,=,i to your leader" ... "That's pre-
tty good," a director tells him,
"but come back next year —
you're a little tense."
HFH INITIALS Sandra
"Sandy" Barak, daughter of
Mort Barak and the late Billie
Barak, had at Henry Ford High,
can be used again ... She's on
B-6 unit of Henry Ford Hospital,
W. Grand Bldv. ... Sandy
graduated Wayne State Univer-
sity with bachelor's degree in

interior decorating ... and HF
Hospital School of Nursing.
THERE ARE PLENTY of
happy Hollywood marriages,
writes former localite Sam
Ginsburg from Los Angeles, and
most of them take place in the
movies filmed there ... which
reminded Sam of the much-
married Hollywood lassie, who
was described as a good house-
keeper ... "with every settle-
ment she keeps the house!"
In Hollywood, says Sam, a
silver wedding anniversary
means the 25th husband . . .
When you're invited to a Hol-
lywood party, the invitations
read, "Admit bearer and one
wife."
When a Hollywood bride
walked into her new home, she
turned to her husband and said,
"Honey, this house looks famil-
iar. Are you sure we haven't
been married before?"
Marrriage in Hollywood,
writes Sam, is sufficient grounds
for divorce.
Sam's favorite is about two
agents, some time back, meeting
on a Hollywood street and one
said, '`Hey, what are you so
down in the mouth for?" . . . His
friend said, "It's that new client
of mine. How would you like to
represent a client that sings like
Crosby, wiggles like Presley,
fights like John Wayne and acts
like Brando?" . His friend
said, "Are you screwy? Why,
you'll make a fortune with a
guy like that!" . . . and the other
agent said, "Guy nothing, ya
dope, it's a girl!"
IN LENINGRAD, an old
man sat on a park bench and
dozed ... When he awoke he
noticed two uniformed police-
men sitting on each side of him
. . .."My God!" he mumbled.
"What did I dream?"
Then there's the Russian who
was convicted of calling. the
Minister of Culture a fool ... He
got a 20-year sentence ... five
years for slander and 15 for re-
vealing a state secret
The story is told of the Com-
munist who died and went to
Hell ... Upon his arrival, he
told Satan, "Boy am I happy to
be in Heaven" ... "But you're
mistaken," the devil told him,
"this isn't Heaven." ... "That's
what you think," sighed the
comrade. "I just came from
Siberia."
OVERHEARD by portly gal
to spouse as they leave party. ...
"And I wish you'd stop referring
to me as a barrel of fun."
OVER 300 PEOPLE at re-
cent black tie President's Ball of
Tam-O-Shanter Country Club
... Marilyn Levine was all set
to be the "cat's meow" in her
new gown ... Would have been,
she says, except that five other
gals had the same thought ...
in exact same gown ... two
black and three white.
CONGRATS . . . to Helen
Gerson ... on her 80th birthday
... Being celebrated at brunch
in home of daughter Torchy and
son-in-law Mort Silverman ...
with Helen's son Jerry and wife
Marge Robbins ... and son
Danny and spouse Estelle Rob-
bins.

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