. 4,111.1111.111.'
60
''.11111.11111,0
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
Friday, February 8, 1985
SINGLES
FIRESTONE
Meet that special
person through the
SINGLE SOLUTION
Wholesale Diamonds & Jewelry
Remounting Jewelry & Watch Repair
Shiksa Myth
JEWELRY APPRAISALS
SUITE 312 ADVANCE BLDG
low rates
23077 Greenfield at 9 Mile
(313) 557-1860
661-0205
Advertising in The Jewish News Gets Results
Place Your Ad Today. Call 354 6060
-
FINAL
MARKDOWN SALE
AT
MALTER FURS
FOR 2 WEEKS ONLY
All of our fine furs
reduced from
M LTER
OF
HARVARD
ROW
DESIGNERS OF FINE FURS
In Harvard Rol% Mall • 21742 11. 11 Mile Rd.
Southfield, MI 48076 • Phone 358-0850
DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND
WE HAVE EXTENDED OUR
FACIAL SPECIALS!!!
From now until March 16th, you and a friend can
enjoy two complete European Facials for fifty dol-
lars. And with any purchase (excluding services)
20% Off on Cosmetics.
This offer is limited to the number of appointments we can
actually accommodate. To insure an appointment for you,
please call as soon as possible .
'by appointment only
excludes gift certificates
SINGLES
a
.
Continued from Page 88)
pushy, unsatisfied, frigid,
rigid, unappreciative. ("Jew-
ish women say thank you for
a nice dinner — when they
remember to say thank you.
Christian women say thank
you for a lovely evening.")
• And in addition, they prac-
tice such black arts as male
deprecation in public, decep-
tion across the board, mother
fixation ("Half the women in
Southfield are at their
mothers every Friday night
for dinner") overindulgence
of children, telephone abuse
and, over and over again I
heard, lack of proper attitude.
Shiksas, I was frequently
told, look up to their men.
Especially to Jewish men
who earn a fine living and do
not drink or beat up their
women (there is a conco-
mitant mythology concern-
ing Christian men — all of it
mind-bogglingly horrific,
but that must wait for an-
other survey). Shiksas are
so delighted to be associated
with Jewish men that they
say thank you for every-
thing from the single flower
brought in courtship to
satisfaction in bed.
"They are not used to the
kind of treatment they get
from Jewish men. They are
grateful." Grateful. Also
honest, appreciative, adoring,
sweet tempered, gentle, un-
spoiled. It sounds like a por-
trait of a Victorian blossom
from Godey's Lady's Book.
A charming conceit but with
about as much substance as
a charlotte russe on a lace
doily.
The truth is — come close,
this is THE BIG SECRET -
shiksas are like...us. Maybe
they eat a little more ham
than corned beef and they
have a thing for early
American decor, but under
the skin they're sisters.
Take a look at the nation's
top shiksas. Up to a few
weeks ago, number one was
Gerry Ferraro. She's got
frosted hair. And a husband
in real estate. And a kitchen
she hasn't set foot in in years.
And how about that mouth
on her. Did you once, on the
evening news, catch her flut-
tering her lashes or simpering
up at Walter Mondale. Or
even at Howard Metzen-
baum. Come on. What would
my interviewees make of her.
Or Sandra Day O'Conner.
Ambitious. Judgmental.
Some shrinking violet.
I told a few garden variety
shiksas about my survey and
inevitably they thought if a
hoot. "But," one wtuspered
conspiratorially, "for heav-
en's sake, don't ruin it
for us. We've got a good
thing going here." Another
was less pleased: "It'sjust
one more example of how
men try to splinter the unity
)1
-
,c>(1lor
Toby Devens Schwartz is the
author of Mercy, Lord! My
Husband's In the Kitchen
Hunters Square, Farmington Hills • 626- 1231
(Doubleday, 1981; Avon, 1982).
She has recently completed her
second book, Single Again And
Other Notes from the Unmar-
ried Underground.
of women by pitting one seg ;
ment of us against another.
I think it's less nefarious
than that. I think it has to do
with the two elemental forces
that pull at the human psyche
— the Appollonian and the
Dionysian, yin and yang, the
comfortable and the exotic.
On one hand, shiksas are
lumped into a single, albeit
attractive, category because
categorizing people ("All
Italians are emotional!" "All
Blacks got rhythm") is
easier, more convenient, less
taxing than dealing with
them individually. Stereotyp
ing makes the exotic a little
less threatening. But this
same exotic quality is pre-
cisely what attracts many
Jewish men to shiksas. Hay-
A charming conceit
but with about as
much substance as a
charlotte russe on a
lace doily.
ing grown up in New York Ci-
ty on the same block as Vicki
Ianucelli and Delores McKen-
ney, I don't find them par-
ticularly exotic. But to a
fellow raised in Detroit )
where the neighborhoods are \
more sharply defined,
perhaps Christian women '\
seem tantalizingly different
from the girl next door.
Seem is the key word here.
We are, at the end, left with
a fantasy. For many Jewish
men it is that Christian
women are different and bet-
ter than Jewish women. (For
some Jewish women, it is
"different and worse."
Shiksas are perceived as sex-
ually promiscuous, slovenly
at housekeeping, quick with
the bottle and slow with the
buck and worst of all, lacking r
in "sechel" — but this is •-
another story). Fantasies are
notoriously tough to tamper
with.
Instead, I take heart in
Part II of this wonderful
secret. That is that there ex-
ists a new segment of the r ,
Jewish male population, a
growing minority : which
disbelieves and is even
offended by the myth of the
shiksa. These men, many of
whom are under thirty-five,
are not impressed by un-
qualified admiration. They
don't crave someone ruffled
and vapid sitting at their
feet. They want a partner at
their side — capable, compas-
sionate, intelligent, caring,
and it wouldn't hurt if she
were pretty in the bargain.
They also know where they
can find her. In Oak Park
and Huntington Woods. In
Southfield and Farmington
Hills. In Birmingham and
West Bloomfield. Old
dreams die hard, but the
new reality ain't chopped
liver. ❑
F
s-\