Benyas-Kaufma n
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
Alisa and Jessica Nack pull decorations from their Chanukah box.
`Parents must encourage
all kinds of positive
Chanukah experiences.'
Friday, December 7, 1984
15
becomes quite important at Chanukah
when they play dreidel.
To emphasize the meaning of
Chanukah, rather than its gift-giving
aspect, the Nacks take time after
lighting the candles to discuss the
story of Chanukah and its themes of
freedom and rededication. Each family
member is encouraged to say some-
thing about, the Chanukah story,
theme, or what they like about the
holiday. After their discussion, they
can open presents.
Janet Pont also encourages par-
ents to minimize the gift-giving aspect
of Chanukah. We are just as vulnera-
ble as Christians with the material
corruption of our holiday. Small chil-
dren become greedy watching all the
toys on TV."
She suggests making gifts as tra-
ditional as possible. Gelt (money) is the
traditional Chanukah gift. Or give a
gift with Jewish content such as holi-
day books, records, games, dreidels or
candy gelt.
It is difficult to keep our children
isolated during the holidays. They
watch TV; we shop at malls. Yet area
educators and rabbis urge parents to
avoid mixing the holidays in their
homes. Mrs. Pont explains, "A small
child needs to have a sense of self. He
wants to know why and how he is
Jewish. If you have a Christmas
dinner, watch Christmas specials, go
to see Santa, your child will receive
mixed messages. He will not know who
he is."
Rabbi Abramson adds, "Christ-
mas has many beautiful aspects.
When you no longer appreciate some-
one else's holiday but feel you need to
make it yours or apologize for it not
being yours, then you have blurred
your own identity."
There are many families today in
which conversion or intermarriage
has given a child grandparents, un-
cles, aunts and cousins who celebrate
Christmas. Rabbi Abramson com-
ments, "These are hard issues that
each family must work out. Ideally you
should divorce yourself from all intra-
family celebrations of Christmas. But
this is not always practical. It is impor-
tant that we explain to our children
that Christmas is not our family's
holiday; that in our home we do not
celebrate Christmas even though
Grandma and Grandpa So and So do.
We need to respect and appreciate the
other family members' holiday, but
not participate in it."
A Jewish child will be better able
to cope with the Christmas season if he
has been given a rich Jewish home life.
Mrs. Pont says, "It is far more impor-
tant what you do in your home the
other 51 weeks of the year." A child's
self-worth and self-esteem develop
through the warmth, values and pride
parents project within the home.
Rabbi Abramson adds that "the
time to deal with Christmas is at Suc-
cot! A family who has had a succah
does not have as many anxieties about
Christmas."'
Even with a strong Jewish iden-
tity, a child might have difficulty in a
public school system whose December
curriculum still traditionally devotes
much time to the teaching of Christ-
mas.
Linda Nack explains, "I was
caught by surprise when my oldest
child was in kindergarten. Every day