3 • 68 Friday, November 9, 1984 I THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS Mack Pitt and his Orchestra plus Disco 358-3642 Music by Sam Barnett Big. or small, we custom the music to your needs MAGICIAN YOUR WEDDING— BAR MITZVA Exciting entertainment for your organization, club or private party. Stage Shows Close up magic Audience Participation Mel Eisenberg 547-2464 ALBUM FINER WINER WILL BE WHEN PHOTOGRAPHED BY AND ASSOCIATES, INC. 357-1010 MENTALIST Mr. & Mrs. Music VIDEO TAPING FOR ALL OCCASIONS SHEL ROTT FULLY GUARANTEED NO DEPOSIT REQUIRED VICKIE CARROLL LARGE SCREEN T.V. AVAILABLE Music • Vocals Personality 641-7369 354-0770 968-2563 GARY R. MILLER & ASSOCIATES "Photography with a personal touch" SPECIALIZING IN: • VIDEO TAPING • CANDID • FAMILY PORTRAITS • ENGAGEMENTS 398-6894 DOMBEY/ABRIN ASSOCIATES VIDEO FILM PRODUCTIONS the o LARRY FREEDMAN Orchestra 349-0690 3000 TOWN CENTER SOUTHFIELD, MI. 48075 PHONE: 548-2266/358-4300 COMPLETE PHOTO/VIDEO SERVICES If you're planning a simcha in Israel between Dec. 14, 1984 and Jan. 2, 1985, Dave will be there & is accepting photographic assignments. MEMORIES IN MOTION BY VIDEO PHOTOGRAPHERS Professional Video at its finest • Broadcast Quality Cameras • Computer Editing • Weddings & Bar/Bat Mitzvahs • BILL MEYER MUSIC 355-2721 PEOPLE'S CHOICE 459-7287 FROM BACH TO ROCK — IT'S GESCHMOCK! Call For An Appointment .. . We Will Bring Our Demonstration Tape To You . . . At No Obligation. David Leaver 552-1443 the GIGUE ORCHESTRA rENbY- 6TEIN music is 855-1400 Talent Agency A SUE THING FOR A GREAT PARTY. Jerry Fenby Fenby-Carr Shelby Lee Eric Freudigman Carl Ryding George Brooks VIS-A-VIS Sheldon Yellen Caricaturists 411111111111111111111, Wilmot Tom Ploeger Loving Cup Divertissement Jay Valle Tim Hewitt & Feelings Johnny Griffith Design In Music Eric Harris Is new Jewish 'morality' harmful? BY HEIDI PRESS Local News Editor Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis says we're pressuring our kids too much to excel. That, he said, is one of the many results of what he called the change in the moral character of contemporary Jewry. Speaking last week to nearly 250 women at the 37th annual In- stitute Day of the Women's Di- vision of the Jewish Welfare Fed- eration, Schulweis enumerated the changes that are affecting Jewish life today. Remarking on sobriety, Schul- weis said alcoholism among Jews was virtually unheard of years ago. Today, in New York, he said about 40 percent of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous are Jews. Schulweis said the divorce rate is rising among world Jewry. Worse, he said, in California halfway houses have had to open for battered Jewish wives. The attractiveness of cults for Jewish youngsters also was a matter of serious concern, Schul- weis said, estimating that about 40 percent of the Unification Church's membership is Jewish. "Something is happening to us which is more serious than whether we support Likud or not, or go to synagogues or not," he said. "The moral character of Jews is changing." He called the contemporary Jewish family "pathogenic," ex- `Singleseen' show debuts in December "Singleseen," a new TV series for single adults, will be broadcast on WXON-TV20 at 11 p.m. Sun- days starting Dec. 2. The program's producers, Cranium Company, Inc., an- nounced that new "Singleseen" shows will be videotaped in front of a live audience at Yesterdays lounge in the Sheraton-Southfield Hotel. Auditions for "Singlesc- reen" guests will be held at Yes- terdays on Wednesday from 6 to 10 p.m. Auditions are open to all single adults. Audition questionnaires are available at Yesterdays any time prior to audition night. The next scheduled videotaping of "Single- seen" is set for Nov. 19, from 6 to Midnight at Yesterdays lounge. Audience participation is open to all adults. "Singlescreen" is hosted by T. Allen Moore of WOMC radio. Repertory theater conducts workshop for Jewish teenagers 541-7651 345-7139 LOCAL NEWS Johnny Chase Oasis ABZ Orchestra Primos Harry Teichert Strings Raymon Carbone Perfect Blend Mariachi Band Rendezvous Joyce Klein, director of the Jewish Repertory Theater for Young Audiences, will conduct workshops on Jewish identity and problems faced by Jewish teena- gers today at the United Hebrew Schools. Begun in 1972 by two Israelis, the Jewish Repertory Theater is dedicated to producing plays by Jewish authors with Jewish val- ues and historical perspective. The group uses puppets, stories and songs to impart its message. plaining that "today there is a higher incidence of hostility towards parents and institu- tions." One of the reasons for this hos- tility toward parents, he said, is in the pressure parents put on their children to achieve academically. He said that as the parents strive to be assimilated by becoming successful in the professions and business they are similarly trying to pressure their children to excel in school, but for the wrong rea- sons. Not because they will derive a sense of achievement, but be- cause if they achieve academic ex- cellence they will win their par- ents' love. That, Schulweis says, is a tragedy. "It's more vicious than 'pres- sure. Today to be a good child means to bring home all A's." Schulweis said that if a child today is a success academically, then he is a good child. If he is not, then he is a failure in the parents' eyes. The result, then, is if the child is not successful he is made to feel that to fail "is to betray (the parents') confidence and risk the love of the parent." The problem, Schulweis says, is one of "parental narcissism," where the parents press the child to be a success for their own self- esteem, and not for the child's own sense of achievement. "Kvelling (glowing with pride) is one of the worst terms we have," Schulweis said. "Kvelling kills. It's not the same as loving." The "kid is frightened of the ul- timate rejection," losing his par- ents' love. Because of the fear of this rejection "students have lost the joy and purpose of it all," the reason for studying, Schulweis says. What can be done to change what Schulweis called the "hemorrhaging of the Jewish fam- ily?" First, Schulweis says, parents must realize that "your kids are not an extension of your own am- bitions and frustrations." He said that the child, just as everyone else, is created in the image of God. "He is a co-responsible, sanctifying agent to repair this world. Respect this child." Schulweis said he would have sneaked in a footnote after the Fifth Commandment — honor your son and daughter. "It's never too late to tell your kids you love them." Secondly, Schulweis said the child should be given "uncondi- tional love. Don't love him for his productivity but for what he is. Motivate him." In the afternoon session, he talked about ways to motivate a child. One is by the "mallet," the other by the "magnet." "It's easier to be judgmental,. condemn. It's easier to pull," he said. Rather than use a mallet style of conditioning, Schulweis recommended the magnet. "Through the magnet you create a certain style of life. Kids are behavioristic. It's important that kids know where you are and what you do. "We are gods to odr children." The best way to motivate, he suggested, is by example. .