"7-

144.4 .. 1

Friday, August 3, 1934 . 7

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

I am proud and happy
to congratulate my
daughters Beverly
Ann on passing all re-
quirements for her
PhD. and Eleanor for
obtaining her C.P.A.
license.

SATIRE

Double' life revealed

1011.80111010111.101110014.

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ereg
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EVERY SATURDAY FROM 12-4
THROUGH THE MONTH OF AUGUST ,

etvIGINS

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ONWARD PLACE CENTER

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2

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Look closely at the man in these two photos. Notice anything unusual?

JIM PRENZLAUER

OWNER

10600 Galaxie
Ferndale, MI 48220
399-9830

In one of the major surprises in U.S.-Israel Relations, The Jewish News has learned
that Bert Lance and Ariel Sharon are really the same person. "That explains why Lance
got such a big job in the Mondale campaign, despite all his so-called connections with
Arab banks, and why Sharon remains so influential in Israel," said an amazed White
House spokesman. Lance/Sharon shown in top photo conferring with Democratic Vice
Presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro in San Francisco, and below it with his Israeli
wife Lili, admitted to The Jewish News that he has been commuting almost daily
between the United States and Israel for years without being detected. "All I did was dye
my hair white in Israel," he shrugged. "And I tend to eat a bit more in Jerusalem." Now
that he has been found out he said he will "stay in America" for awhile to work on the -
Mondale campaign" before heading to Israel "to plan some more invasions."
(Editor's note: This js the first in a series of satires on the news that will appear in these
, pages from time to time.)

I

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