12 Friday, March 18, 1983 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS Federation Agencies Helping Single-Parent Families By ESTHER ALLWEISS TSCHIRHART was separated from her husband of 17 years. The Jewish Welfare Federation split was sudden, and Diane Diane W. described her - (not her real name) was un- situation as "desperate" prepared for job seeking and when she came to the becoming the sole support of Jewish Vocational Service her family. Her husband (JVS) for help last fall. had filed for bankruptcy, Mother of three, a leaving Diane with a moun- homemaker, she recently tain of debts. For Diane, and single BINGO parents and their children B'NAI DAVID SYNAGOGUE everywhere, confronting 24350 SOUTHFIELD ROAD the emotional and financial STARTS adjustments that often fol- WEDNESDAY low divorce can be trauma- MARCH 2, 1983 at 7:00 tic. In this community, the COMPETITIVE RATES OWNER .OPERATED GUARANTEED INTRODUCTORY SPECIAL IRVING FAITLER, a MSU graduate forester brings 33 SA VE 1 0 % on Irving's Full Program years experience in turf management to his lawn spray company. He began work in the CALL RIGHT AWAY FOR A FREE ESTIMATE field by implementing in 1950 the Detroit area's first large scale weed control program for Wayne County. 356-801 Jewish single-parent family need not be with- out hope. Several agen- cies affiliated with the Jewish Welfare Federa- tion have outreach pro- grams and other services that help single parents and their children in a variety of ways. Contri- butions to the annual Al- lied Jewish Campaign make possible the assis- tance provided to these families, primarily through Jewish Voca- tional Service, Jewish Family Service, United Hebrew Schools, Fresh Air Society and Jewish Community Center. Diane's life has been turned around in little more than six months, she said. JVS found her an attorney and also referred her to the Jewish Family Service (JFS), where she received an emergency check to pay for groceries and a past-due electricity bill. Perhaps most importantly, through her participation in a JVS job counseling and place- ment program called Dis- placed Homemakers, coor- dinated by Sherri Lumberg, Diane has found employ- ment in a job she enjoys. JVS offers similar job readiness and placement assistance for women with or without minor children through Displaced Homemakers, funded by the Michigan Department of Labor. Following a family break-up, counseling for the parents and/or their chil- dren often is essential. Ac- cording to Margaret Weiner, director of profes- ,sional services at Jewish Family Service, it's common for divorced or widowed clients to have a sense of failure about their mar- An absolute must: the Seder plate by Lenox. Ti!. ran ti tY10108140, Inc. 31313 Northwestern • Farmington Hills 851-7333 Hours: Mon.-Sat. 9:30-5:00 Jewelry Designers & Manufacturers of Original and Unusual Creations • Authorized Appraisers • Estate Liquidators - .1 .11.- ■ 111111111 ■111■1■._ riage ending, to feel they're somehow to blame. Other problems may arise in raising the chil- dren alone: "It's hard enough being a parent without the stress of hav- ing no partner to share the burdens," said Mrs. Weiner. JFS offers group sessions for the parents of children in treatment, an opportunity to discuss feelings about them- selves that may be affect- ing -their ability to parent effectively. Another single parent, Carolyn A., said one of the toughest parts about get- ting divorced is "having to cope with your children's emotions about it when you haven't yet come to grips with your own." She had to obtain counseling for her son, now 12 years old, be- cause of his poor adjustment to his parents' breakup three years ago. For many troubled chil- dren, the Jewish Family Service's Special Friends program provides much- needed adult companion- ship and direction. Accord- ing to Fayga Dombey, coor- dinator of volunteer serv- ices, the children in the pro- gram "need someone special to call their own." Many are from single-parent homes. An adult volunteer serv- ing as a Special Friend can help relieve the burden on the single parent and child by giving the youngster the .extra time and guidance he needs. In recognition of the growing Jewish divorce rate and its impact on children, United Hebrew Schools recently held a pilot program on mar- riage for its junior and senior high school stu- dents. As devised by Dr. Jonathon Fishbane, principal of the UHS high school, and David Maiseloff, of the Or- chards program for emotionally-disturbed youngsters, the students were encouraged to -dis- cuss their views on mar- riage, divorce and the family after seeing -a film clip from the movie "Or- dinary People," about a family in crisis. Through continuation of the program, "we hope to lead the students to an understanding of the impor- tance of marriage in Jewish tradition. Their sense of commitment now will be important to their mar- riages rater as adults," said Dr. Fishbane. UHS is providing assistance to Jewish children in another way — through some $40,000 in subsidies for tuition and transportaion. Rabbi Ber- nard Moskowitz, UHS school administrator, esti= mated at least 175 single- parent families are affil- iated with UHS, out of a total 700 families. Because of financial need, about 80 percent of the single-parent families have received UHS subsidies during the 1982- 1983 school year, he said. UHS makes the awards Jewish Vocational - Service volunteer Tedd Schneider serves as a "special friend" to this young man from a single-parent home. based on its philosophy that every Jewish child is entitled to an education. Fresh Air Society has its own long tradition of ensur- ing a camping experience for all Jewish youngsters. FAS Executive Director Michael Zaks said many of the campers requiring fi- nancial assistance come from single-parent families, where economic factors are hurting both custodial (usually the mother) and non-custodial parents. "The divorced father usually is supporting two households while the mother is either under- employed or unable to find work because of skills she lacks," said Zaks. Zaks said statistics kept by FAS indicate that there has been a 100 percent in- crease in the number of campers coming from di- vorced homes over the last 10 years — evidence to him that the Jewish family is "undergoing dramatic and painful changes." For the children, feeling the stress of family life, camp may provide a safe haven, said Zaks. Boys liv- ing without a father may look-up to their male camp counselors as role models. The single parent placing a child in camp for the summer may do so for very different reasons than does the two-parent family, he added. "Camp represents a re- spite from the pressures of single parent life," said Zaks. It also is a good place for a working mother to have her child stay when school is out for the sum- mer. Child care for pre- school children is an- other problem confront- ing the single parent, who most often is obliged to work outside the home. The Jewish Community Center in West Bloom- field provides day care in its Child Development Center, under director Carolyn Dangoor. Full- or part-time enrollment is offered, and demand ap- pears to be growing as more women enter the job market, said Ms. Dangoor. After the needs of the children are met, what about the parent? Where in the Jewish community does the single parent go to meet new friends or talk about concerns with others? One way is attending an evening series for Jewish singles entitled "Not for Couples Only," currently being held at the United Hebrew Schools. Social and educational events for singles, presumably of interest to the single parent, are planned periodically by the Jewish Community Center singles coordinator Bruce Tabashneck. _1 Also based at the JCC is the Jewish Parents Insti- tute, which offers a secular Jewish Sunday school for children from some 68 families (11 of them headed by single parents). JPI President Ann Kuffler said an auxiliary group is being formed to provide "a Jewish cul- tural experience" primarily for persons in their 40s and 50s whose children have graduated from JPI. Many of these individuals will be single parents who have felt un- comfortable joining in family holiday celebra- tions without a spouse. The JPI group will celeb- rate the Jewish holidays to- gether as an "extended fam- ily," said Mrs. Kuffler. A "Secular Night Out" will be the group's first official so- cial function in late March. Other organizations in Oakland County — includ- ing the support group SPACE of the National - Council of Jewish Women, and two new single-parent groups at Temple Israel and Cong. Shaarey Zedek — provide additional choices for single-parents building new lives for themselves and their families. SF Jews Form Gay Congregation SAN FRANCISCO (JTA) — Nearly 40 San Francisco homosexual Jews met re- cently to form a non-profit corporation called Cong. Ahavat Shalom and are now seeking other homosexual Jews, men and women, to be charter members. The new congregation holds Sabbath services on Fridays at the Metropolitan Community Church. Employment gives health, sobriety and morals. ' Constant employment and well-paid labor produce, in a country like ours, general prosperity, content and cheerfulness.