30 Friday, November 30, 1979 , THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS Psychologist Discusses Christmas and the Jewish Child By DR. ALICE GINOTT everyone else, even though Hanuka they deprive their child of an opportunity to (Editor's note: Dr. it is not their holiday. Many Jewish parents find feel proud of his past and to Ginott is the wife of the late Dr. Chaim Ginott and it hard to refuse. They bor- develop a positive attitude a noted psychologist in row the style if not the sub- towards his roots. her own right. The fol- stance of Christmas and, be- Many Jewish families lowing article is excerp- lieving that they can take give a big Hanuka party, to ted from two she wrote in the Christian religion out of which they invite Christian recent years on Christ- Christmas, create an artifi- friends and their children. mas and the Jewish cial holiday for their chil- One woman told me how dren. child.) surprised she was to be told To pretend that by a young man who had For Jewish parents, the "Christmas problem" is Christmas is not a reli- been to her Hanuka party complicated. Not only gious holy day is to dis- 20 years before — when he would their children like to tort reality. Still, many was a little boy — how envi- be in charge of the family parents persist because ous he was of the warmth in budget during the holidays, they feel guilty and help- her home. He wished he had but they also want to be the less when their children been born a Jew so that he could celebrate Hanuka. arbiters of the family's be- are unhappy. A Jewish child has no Yet for many Jewish liefs. They beg, cajole and plead need to celebrate Christ- children, their holiday that they be allowed to mas. He may wish to be part pales by comparison. celebrate Christmas with of the excitement — to They cannot help but be dream of a white Christmas swept up by the excite- with all the other children. ment of Christmas. For REMEMBER The child may want the over a month, Christmas THE BLUE BOX pleasure of decorating a carols fill the air. Store AND EVERYTHING. IT Christmas tree and to wake windows are trans- STANDS FOR ON EVERY up on Christmas morning formed into a Christmas IMPORTANT OCCASION. pretending that those gifts wonderland. Everyone 557-6644 were left by Santa Claus. seems to be involved in But neither the child's phys- the warmth and glow. Ew ical nor emotional well- It is easy for a Jewish being depends on having child to get the impression these desires gratified. that, during Christmas, On the contrary, when -Christians have more fun Jewish parents emphasize than anybody. Christmas at the expense of Naturally, he wants to be part of the fun. He doesn't like being different. He doesn't like being deprived. He doesn't like being left out. And he doesn't like THINK HOUDAYS being cheated. ISRAELI IMPORTED As one eight-year-old told BUCKLES . . . $9 each me: "It's hard to be Jewish HAND MADE — SOLID BRASS during Christmas." And a 35 Designs — Holy Land History 10-year-old girl, when asked how she felt about M-GO-BLUE BUCKLES $5.00 each Christmas said: "It feels Now Available — German Silver Buckles like all the people are Chris- tians. I know I shouldn't feel PEARL SCISSORS that way, but I can't help it. "THE BUCKLE LADY" EACH Sometimes I wish I could be 3 FOR $11 Christian, too." What is a Jewish parent OVER "1,200" DIFFERENT STYLES to do? LARGEST BUCKLE DISPLAY IN MICHIGAN Understand and sym- 5 EILK E.RlicE.y.?IlF4810712 -MILE pathize with the child's 2240 predicament by acknow- 545-6885 Monday tbru Saturday 10-6—Free Parking ledging his feelings: "It's ;„ '44 B U C K Li r diasIMITED BUCKLES COOLIDGE "Light up your life" at ADAT SHALOM SYNAGOGUE The Membership Committee Cordially Invites The Community To Experience A HANUKAH HAPPENING FOR PROSPECTIVE NEW MEMBERS ON Tues., Dec. 11, 1979 8:00 P.M. SYNAGOGUE SOCIAL HALL RABBI EFRY SPECTRE AND CANTOR LARRY VIEDER WILL CONDUCT A HANUKAH MUSICAL PROGRAM AND SONG FEST REFRESHMENTS WILL BE SERVED WE LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING YOU — PLEASE R.S.V.P. ADAT SHALOM SYNAGOGUE 29901 MIDDLEBELT ROAD, FARMINGTON HILLS Synagogue Office:851-5100 not easy to be Jewish during Christmas. Everyone seems to be celebrating Christmas except you. But it's nice to see people being more friendly and helpful, to enjoy the beautiful store windows and to get into the holiday spirit." Or: "I know you wish you could have a Christmas tree like your friends. You'd know exactly how to deco- rate it. And how much fun it would be to get up Christ- mas morning and find all the presents you ever wanted under the Christ- mas tree. But Christmas is a Christian holiday. We are Jews. We celebrate Hanuka." Jewish does not need to compensate or compete, nor does she imitate. She A child who feels under- is not defensive nor does stood, feels loved. It helps she feel guilty. She can him to tolerate frustration accept the fact that being and stops him from feeling Jewish in a predomin- sorry for himself for not antly Christian country being able to celebrate may have its temptations .- and helps her child Christmas. cope with them. A child does not need to be given everything he wants; As one boy so aptly put it he needs to be given permis- when asked how he felt sion to want. When a parent being Jewish during verbalizes her child's Christmas: "I'm the luckiest wishes, she gives him that boy. I love all the presents I permission. get for Hanuka and I don't A parent who feels have to go to school on comfortable being Christmas." * * * JCCouncil Offering Guidelines, Aid on School-Religious Disputes Emphasis on church- state separation in the schools is contained in a Jewish Community Council statement alerting the community to approaching concerns over Hanuka- Christmas conflicting ob- servances. The council advises par- ents to contact it over any complaint because "a well-meaning parent, by voicing a personal and emo- tional complaint, can make a difficult situation worse." For information, call the council, 962-1880. The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that the schools must be religiously neutral: by refraining from promot- ing any and all religions, re- fraining from expressions of hostility to religion or show- ing preference for any reli- gion. According to the coun- cil, the courts have allowed factual and ob- Romaman Exit Problem Denied TEL AVIV (JTA) — Jon Kovac, the Romanian am- bassador to Israel, has an- grily denied press reports that Romanian Jews seek- ing to immigrate to Israel were experiencing difficul- ties and delays in getting their exit permits from the Romanian authorities. Such reports do not con- tribute to the promotion of Israel-Romanian rela- tions," the envoy said. Romania is the only East- ern European Communist bloc country that maintains normal diplomatic ties with Israel. The ambassador said there are an estimated 25,000 Jews in Romania but since every Romanian citi- zen has the right to define his own ethnic affiliation, the exact number is un- known. Many Romanian Jews have registered them- selves as members of the Romanian nation, he said. It was learned, mean- while, that at least three Is- raeli delegations attended the 12th convention of the Romanian Communist Party which opened in Bucharest last week. They represented the Labor Party, Mapam and Rakah. jective teaching about religion, intercultural programs which focus on the role of religion in the development of society, education about religious freedom and religious liberty, reli- gious themes and sym- bols used by individual students as a mode of self-expression, the study of religious music as part of a music appreciation course or the study of various lands and cul- tures. The courts have also ruled that absence from school due to a religious holiday is an excused ab- sence. Among others, the courts have ruled out recitation of prayers, distribution of Bi- bles, public school displays of religious symbols, pre- sentation of religious plays, films or pageants, and reli- gious programs or prayer meetings during the school day. Jewish Press Association Outraged' Over Awards MONTREAL (JTA) — The American Jewish Press Association (AJPA), which held its mid-year meeting in Montreal concurrently with the 48th general assembly of the Council of Jewish Federations Nov. 14-18, unanimously expressed "outrage" over the "appar- ent failure" of the 1979 Smolar Awards committee to "fully and objectively complete the judging proc- ess" for this year's Smolar Award for excellence in Jewish journalism. The AJPA noted that no Jewish newspapers in the United States were among the- more than 100 entries which were deemed worthy of an award in any of eight categories. The winners in- cluded two magazines — Moment and Expo — and a Canadian newspaper, The Jewish Western Bulletin of Vancouver. At its final session, the AJPA reiterated its concern and recommended that the 1980 Smolar Awards, in the final judging of them, in- volve the participation of "an impartial, objective body" recruited from a major recognized North American school of Jour- nalism. An AJPA delegation, headed by its president, Frank Wundohl, editor of The Jewish Exponent of Philadelphia, expressed the AJPA's concern at a meeting with Saul Vie- ner, chairman of the Smo- lar Award Committee, and Frank Strauss, direc- tor of the communica- tions of the CJF, sponsor of the Smolar Awards. The AJPA members of the Smolar Award Commit- tee indicated they intend to attend the Smolar Award Committee meeting next March in New York City at the CJF's quarterly meet- ing "to determine whether any progress towards re- forming the judging proc- ess" has been made. In a separate but related action, Wundohl designated Albert Bloom, editor of The Jewish Chronicle of Pittsburgh and AJPA edito- rial vice chairman, to head a committee to implement AJPA awards for journalis- tic excellence which would be finally judged by the kind of panel the AJPA suggested for the Smolar Committee. The AJPA said it would go ahead with its awards regardless of whether any action is taken by the Smolar Award Commit- tee. A spokesman for the CJF said the views of the AJPA will be transmitted to the full Smolar Award Commit- tee when it meets in New York City in March. Fire Bombing STRASBOURG (JTA) — Two Molotov cocktails were hurled at the synagogue here last weekend without causing any damage. One failed to explode and the other rapidly fizzled. The attack occurred at night when the building was empty. Police have no clues as to the identity of the attackers.