10 Friday, September 16, 1977 THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
AVE A The Trouble With Diplomacy...
AFFAIR
WITH
HAL
GORDON
BY DAVID SCHWARTZ
(Copyright 1977, JTA, Inc.)
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You don't have to diet to
lose weight. Just don't be
Secretary of State. If the
President calls you and
asks you to take the job,
put your foot down firmly
and say no.
Take the case of Henry
Kissinger. He had been
wanting to reduce for sever-
al years, but every year he
put on more and (mutt..
Since he left the office he
has lost 25 pounds.
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One might have assumed
that with all the worrying
the Secretary of State has
to do about the state of the
world, one would lose
weight in that office, but it
seems to work just the oppo-
site. You eat more to forget
your worries and there are
also all those diplomatic
functions you must attend,
and one thing they always
succeed in doing at these is
eat.
Also there is a great deal
of drinking and this of
course adds to the weight
problem. It will be recalled
that Chaim Herzog, the Is-
raeli envoy to the United
Nations, some time back
speaking about the way
some of the pro-Arab and
Soviet lands have boycotted
him, concluded it was not
altogether bad, as it was
saving him from much of
the boozing which goes on
at the various gatherings of
the delegates.
Abba Eban, who recently
visited the United States, is
quoted in the press as
saying that it seems to him
that the United 'Nations it-
self has lost weight among
the peoples of the world in
recent years. Eban is think-
ing of weight in a different
sense. The individual mem-
bers of the United Nations
have mostly gained weight.
Perhaps it is destined
that not the diplomats and
statesmen but the comedi-
ans and humorists will final-
ly bring peace to the world.
Probably Groucho Marx
contributed more to the
peace of the world than any
of the delegates of the
United Nations. In the politi-
cal life of America, Frank-
lin and Lincoln, two of our
best humorists, played a
transcending role.
It is too bad that Groucho
Marx was not elected to
Congress or better still
made Secretary of State.
Maybe they should change
the name of the office to
Secretary of Humor. With
his bombshells of humor we
would learn to dispense
with other bombshells.
Perhaps
the
in-
effectiveness
of
inter-
national diplomacy is that
it is so lacking in humor.
Oscar Straus was a mem-
ber of the Cabinet of Presi-
dent Theodore Roosevelt.
One time he came to a
hcte.1‘ which barred Jews.
He came • riding on his
horse—it was the days be-
fore the automobile.
Straus was a man of na-
tional reputation and the
hotel hesitated at exluding
him. They decided they
would admit him, but make
it so costly as to discourage
other Jews from applying.
At the end of his stay,
Straus looked at the bill.
"H'm," said Straus, "I can
see why you charged me
twice as much as the other
guests, but why do you
make this excess charge
for my horse. He isn't Jew-
ish."
Humor can be social sat-
ire, but there is also the
simple humor.
Here are two Groucho sto-
ries: She: 'The garbage
man has arrived. He: Tell
him we don't want any.
;
A. I lived for a time in
Wales.
B. Did you ever know a
fellow named Jonah? He
lived sometimes in whales
too.
Such stories are just good
for a laugh, but we all need
to laugh more. If we
laughed more, we wouldn't
fight as much.
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NEW YORK — More
than 54,000 cruise-passen-
gers visited Israel during
the first seven months of
1977, a 69 percent increase
over the same period in
1976.
Announcing these 'figures,
Israel Zuriel, Israel's corn-
missioner for tourism in
North America, said "An in-
creasing number of cruise-
ships are making regular
calls at Haifa. Israel is es-
pecially suited for such traf-
fic, as it is possible to see
some of the historical and
holy sites in either Jerusa-
lem or the Galilee in a
short visit."
Cruise ships planning fu-
ture calls at Haifa, include
Carras Cruises Danae;
Royal Viking Line's Royal
Viking Sky; Kargeorgis
Cruises' Navarino (for-
merly the Gripsholm); Nor-
wegian America's Sagaf-
jord and Vistafjord and Hol-
land America's Rotterdam,
as part of its 1978 87-day
World Cruise.
A strife is like the out-
burst of water from a small
leak—as the water coun-
tinues to flow the leak in-
creases in size.
—The Talmud
Castro's Anti-Israelism Seen
in Contacts With N. Africans
By WARREN FREEDMAN
In the early days of the'
Castro regime in Cuba,
friendship with the state of
Israel was keenly felt by
the Jewish community of
Havana and by the large
number of Israeli agricul-
turists working in Cuba.
About 14,000 Cuban Jews
maintained five synagogues
and every Jewish in-
stitution.
In early 1977 the anti-Is-
rael and anti-Zionist activi-
ties of Fidel Castro were
made clear in his visits to
Libya, Southern Yemen and
Mozambique. President Cas-
tro put his name to a series
of documents and joint com-
muniques which repeatedly
condemned Israel and gave
unreserved support for the
Palestine Liberation Organi-
zation.
UN Document A3268,
dated April 26, 1977, is a
joint communique between
Cuba and Southern
Yemen—"the two sides
Seminary Unit
Appoints Dean
NEW YORK—Victor B.
Geller has been appointed
dean of the division of com-
munal services of Rabbi
Isaac Elchanan Theological
Seminary, an affiliate of Ye-
shiva University, it was an-
nounced by Dr. Norman
Lamm, president.
As field director of the
community services divi-
sion from 1934 to 1966, he
spearheaded a number of
communal service projects
includin2, rabbinic place-
ment and the establishment
of more than 100 syna-
gogues across the U.S. and
Canada. __ _ __ -
Geller also has served as
director of the community
activities division of the
Union of Orthodox Jewish
Congregations of America
from 1950 to 1954 and was
executive secretary and em-
ployment director of the Na-
tional Council of Young Is-
rael from 1949 to 1950.
He has served on the ex-
ecutive committees of the
National Community Rela-
tions Advisory Council and
the Synagogue Council of
America.
AJCommittee Will
Focus on Cities
NEW YORK—The Ameri-
can Jewish Committee an-
nounced that through its
local chapters, it will
launch an intensive cam-
paign "to help improve the
condition of the nation's
major cities."
Major emphasis of the
campaign will be the estab-
lishment and support of full
employment coalitions on
the local level, and in-
creased efforts to promote
fede . al programs that
would create more jobs. the
AJCommittee said.
In addition. priority atten-
tion will be given to pro-
grams geared to reducing
the racial violence. ethnic
tensions and economic
strains that prevail in
today's urban scene.
• Ia.
agreed that it (the Middle
East) remains dangerous
and threatens international
peace owing to the aggres-
sive expansionist policy pur-
sued by Israel and the impe-
rialist and Zionist forces
led by the United States of
America...Both sides reaff-
irm their steadfast support
for the Palestine resistance
movement led by the PLO,
the sole and legitimate rep-
resentative of the Palesti-
nian people".
UN Document A2269,
dated April 27, 1977 is a
joint communique between
Cuba and Libya which reite-
rates support "in the
struggle against neo-coloni-,
alism, racist Zionism, anc
the policies of the monopo-
lies".
Both sides "strongly con-
demned Israel's Zionist ag-
gression supported by the
imperialist powers..." Cuba
and Mozambique expressed
their condemnation of "the
occupation of Palestine and
of Arab territories by Zion-
ist expansionism" in UN
Document A3270 dated
April 27, 1977. The two coun-
tries called for "the destruc-
tion of apartheid, racism
and Zionism".
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