THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
16 Friday, February 11, 1977
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You've Got Tsuris If You Can't Speak Yiddish
BY DAVID SCHWARTZ
(Copyright 1977, JTA, Inc.)
A friend is taking a
course in Yiddish. Now
that people are speaking
Yiddish less, it is becom-
ing more of a college
course.
It is a remarkable lan-
guage. Take, for instance,
some years back a Rus-
sian Jewish labor leader
in New York asked a
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Jewish union leader what
union he represented.
"Die
Carpenter's
union," was the reply.
"Vos ist carpenters?"
asked the Russian.
"Carpenters machen
furniture," said the New
Yorker.
"Vos is furniture?"
asked the Russian.
"Furniture is tables,
beds," said the New
Yorker.
"Vos ist tables?" asked
the Russian.
Yiddish is a language
everyone can understand
— except a Russian.
It is very close to En-
glish. In hundreds of
American homes you hear
the children saying,
"Mammeh, ich geh taking
a walk."
This is so close to En-
glish you might conclude
that English is derived
from Yiddish.
When the Hebrew poet
Haim Nachman Bialik vi-
sited the country many
were surprised at his
speaking Yiddish. "You
write such beautiful He-
brew," they said, "why do
you always speak Yid-
dish?"
"All right," Bialik re-
plied, "if you have time I
will speak Hebrew."
For speaking Yiddish
you don't need so much
time. With the single word
"Nu," you can almost carry
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on a whole conversation.
Or take the word "Oi."
That's a whole speech by
itself. Intonation is very
important. One day, Mr.
Rubenstein received a let-
ter from his son asking for
$100. Unable to read,
Rubenstein asked a friend
to read the letter to him,
who read it in a rough sort
of way.
Mr. Rubenstein was in-
censed. "So," he said, "he
tells me to send him $100.
The nerve. I won't do it."
But the letter kept
agitating him and Mr.
Rubenstein asked
another friend to read
him the letter and this
time it was read in a soft
pleading tone.
"Well,"
said
Mr.
Rubenstein, "now that he
speaks that way, I will of
course send my darling
son the money."
Yiddish is a polite lan-
guage. For instance, in
Yiddish one rarely would
be so rude as to tell some-
one to shut up. Why should
one tell a man to shut up?
-After all, the right of free
speech is guaranteed by
the First Amendment to'
the Constitution. Besides
the Bible says you should
love your neighbor as
yourself.
Would you. want anyone
to tell you to shut up? So
in Yiddish, the Jew
doesn't say shut up. In-
stead he is more likely to
say "Hak nit kein
chynik," which means
"Don't chop a tea pot. -
No one will be sore if he
is told not to chop a tea
pot. Tea pots are very nice
things. What is better on
a cold day than a. warm
glass of tea or a glass of
cold tea on a hot day, so
why should anyone chop a
tea pot? So when you tell
them not to chop a tea pot
they agree with you.
A salesman tries to sell
a Jew something he
doesn't want. The Jew
does not like to say no to
the salesman. After all,
he is a fellow man trying
to make a living. Who
knows how much "tsuris -
this salesman might
have. He has a wife and
six children and has to
send two of his children to
college. Do you know how
much that costs today? So
the Jew doesn't want to
say no to the salesman.
He doesn't deny he needs
the article, he says he
needs it like a "loch in
kop." (Like a hole in the
head).
Isaac Carmel used to tell
of the little boy's story- of
the four stages of a per-
sons life:
First, infancy.
Second, when you grow
up.
Third, when you get
married.
Fourth, when you get
old and speak Yiddish.
Yiddish of course is not
spoken as much today as
formerly. There have al-
ways been the snobs who
disdained the language,
like that grand English
Dame, who said "Before I
met my husband, I never
even knew what a
`shlemier was."
But Yiddish has its
staunch devotees even in
Israel today. There is the
story of the Jewish
mother in Israel who in-
sisted on teaching her
children Yiddish. "I want
them to remember they
are Jews," she explained.
The most popular Yid-
dish expression is "Tatte,
du lachst," (papa you're
laughing.) It is like "Re-
member the Alamo" to
early Americans. Papa,
you're laughing. 'Y.,-
heard it all the time
even the grimmest cif
times. In fact, especially at
the grim times.
Laughter was the
greatest Jewish medi-
cine. It is surprising drug
stores didn't sell it.
Perhaps it is this which
preserved the Jew for
these hundreds of years.
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Quebec Jews Meet Levesque
MONTREAL (JTA) —
A 10-member' delegation
of the Canadian Jewish
Congress met with
Quebec Premier Rene
Levesque last week to
brief him on the concerns
of the Jewish community
of the province.
The delegates pointed
out that while the Jewish
- community is not
monolithic, Quebec Jews
are traditionally
federalist in outlook.
Levesque and his Parti
Quebecois favor splitting
French-speaking Quebec
from the, rest of English-
speaking Canada.
The CJC stressed that it
is fully determined to
participate in Quebec af-
fairs regardless - which
party is in office. The de-.
legation pointed out that
the Jewish community is
similar to that. of the
French Canadians since
it wants to maintain its
own cultural identity.
It stressed that _the
Jewish community is de-
termined to maintain its
own identity and culture
and its own schools as well
as its attachment for Israel
and concern for the plight
of Jews in such. countries
as the Soviet Union, Syria
and other Arab countries.
The delegation asked
Levesque for legislation
guaranteeing human
rights, particularly on
languages; for the con-
tinued provincial gov-
ernment support of
Expanded Services
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for your car problems
Jewish day schools,- at-
tended by 40 percent of
Jewish children in the
proVince; and for social-
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the elderly programs.
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• • •
• a r,„1t
n •
FORESTS
that bear your name
Long after you have gone, forests in Israel
renewing themselves in the cycle of sea-
sons, will keep your memory ever green.
When making your. Will, provide that a
forest in Israel be planted in your name or
in that of someone dear to you, handing
down your last wish from generation to
generation.
A bequest to the J.N.F. is a bequest to the
entire Jewish people. linking the name
of the Testator with Israel in perpetuity.
For information and advice
in strict confidence apply to
Jewish National Fund
22100 Greenfield, Oak Park, 48237 (968-0820)