▪
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e
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Little Jewishness in Lives oil/Raced Couples, Rabbi Says
By BEN GALLOB
(Copyright 1973, JTA, Inc.)
Rabbis who justify officiat-
ing at mixed marriages on
grounds the conditions they
impose for doing so help to
assure Jewish survival have
been challenged by a Reform
rabbi who made a study of
the Jewish behavior of such
couples.
Rabbi Marc L. Raphael of
Los Angeles, in reporting orl
the debate and on his study,
ferred to the contention
,resented by many of my
colleagues" who officiate at
such marriages that "refusal
to do so will drive the couple
,
* * * *
* * * * * * *
INVITATIONS • ENTERTAINMENT
Now Availablr
OOPSY
away from Judaism, while
agreement to do so is quite
likely to assist in Jewish
survival."
Rabbi Raphael published
his findings in a recent issue
of the Journal of the Cen-
tral Conference of American
Rabbis. •
He said his study focused
on members of 114 mixed
marriages solemnized by
rabbis in Los Angeles be-
tween June 13, 1970, and
Sept. 13, 1970, who agreed to
discuss the religious aspects
of their marriage one year
after the ceremony. Rabbi
Raphael said that whenever
possible, both husband and
wife were contacted for this
information.
After that year of mar-
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riage, 111 of the 114 couples
claimed to be of the same
religion as at the time of
marriage. 0 n e non-Jewish
bride and two non-Jewish
grooms had converted to
Judaism.
R a b b i Raphael reported
that while no Jews expressed
any intention to convert to
Christianity, four non-Jews
claimed to be "seriously" in-
terested in conversion to
* *
*
Doctor Links Mixed Marriage
to Possible Emotional Problems
By BEN GALLOB
lished in the commission's
bulletin, "News and Views."
Dr. Ostow asserted that for
many and perhaps most
Jews, mixed marriage "is
considered one of the most
distressing and serious of the
current forms of youthful
acting out" of personality
problems. He added that one
reason it was particularly
distressing was that it was
"not readily reversed, espe-
cially after the birth of a
child." He then listed and
examined three categories of
mixed marriages—marrying
down, marrying up and mar-
rying across.
Defining "marrying down"
as marrying a partner "who
is clearly unsuitable because
of lower social status, infer-
ior educational background
or both," Dr. ()stow assert-
ed that marrying down "of-
ten betrays a fairly severe
personality disorder."
Dr. Ostow defined, as one
of the elements of Jewish
cohesiveness, a feeling among
Jews of being members of
an elite group.
He added that marrying
down can be attributed to
some degree to such elitism.
He declared that "the young
Jew who is depressed and
therefore plagued by low
Meredith Baxter, star of TV's
self-esteem, feels that he
"Bridget Loves Bernie," attended
cannot live up to the high
the Interlochen Arts Academy.
standards imposed upon him
Here she found an imaginative
by his parents and the Jew-
college-preparatory academic pro-
ish community.
gram with comprehensive training
By marrying down, he re-
in the arts -- music, dance, drama
and visual arts.
pudiates standards, family
Sound training and discipline in
and community and resigns
the arts build qualities of character,
himself to living on a lower
judgement and sensitivity so im-
plane" though he persuades
portant to human dignity and a
himself that what he is doing
rewarding life in any vocation...
is "rescuing an unrecog-
INTERNATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL nized and unappreciated
gentile princess and unmask-
IN THE WOODS
ing his parents as narrow-
Last year 350 students from 36
minded and bigoted."
states and 6 foreign countries en-
Marrying up, defined as
joyed living on the beautifully
marrying a non-Jew of high-
wooded 1,400 acre smog-free cam-
er social and economic sta-
pus. This ecologically blessed Michi-
tus, occurred more common-
gan setting, situated between two
ly among the -children of East
lovely lakes, is shared with the
European Jewish immigrants
National Music Camp.
in the 1920s and the 1930s
SEVEN TO ONE STUDENT -
than it does now. Dr. Ostow
TEACHER RATIO
said this was because the
Courses of study are tailored to
economic status of the aver-
individual interests and abilities
age , American non-Jewish
within the framework of college
family and "the social status
preparatory requirements.
of Jews is not distressingly
The rich student-teacher ratio
lower than the status of non-
achieved by a "double faculty"
Jews."
(22 academic; 28 fine arts) makes
Dr. Ostow indicated a be-
the Interlochen Arts Academy an
lief that personality problems
even greater educational value.
among Jews could be a fac-
Guest artists and specialists enrich
tor in all categories of mixed
the curriculum, and Academy off-
marriages but that it was
campus trips and tours broaden the
less likely among Jews mar-
experience spectrum.
rying up and marrying
HOW GOOD CAN YOU BE?
across than in situations of
There is unlimited opportunity
Jews marrying down.
for artistic experience available to
He asserted that marrying
the achieving student. Interlochen's
up was not "necessarily an
aim is to educate, not equalize.
expression of frank psycho-
Follow in Meredith's footsteps and
pathology" but that it did
write for Catalog and Application
"express disregard of one's
to: Admissions, Interlochen Arts
parents in many instances
Academy, Interlochen, Michigan
and it expresses repudiation
49643.
of loyalty to the Jewish com-
munity." But, he added, "it
is motivated less by these
sentiments than by personal
616-276-9221
ambition."
(Copyright 1973, JTA, Inc.)
A psychiatrist who is a fac-
ulty member at a Jewish
seminary has expressed the
view that Jews choosing non-
Jews in mixed marriages of-
ten do so from compulsions
stemming from severe emo-
tional problems, some of
them related to conflicts
about their Jewishness.
That evaluation was of-
fered by Dr. Mortimer Os-
tow, chairman of faculty of
the department of pastoral
psychiatry at the Jewish
Theological Seminary.
Dr. Ostow is chairman of
the task force on mental
health and Judaism of the
commission on synagogue re-
lations of the Federation of
Jewish Philanthropies of New
York. His comments on mo-
tivations of Jews in mixed
marriages were part of a pa-
per on the Jewishness of con-
temporary Jewish youth, pub-
riffigki
INTERLOCHEN
Interlochen
Arts
Academy
Interlochen, Michigan 49643
Judaism. Rabbi Raphael
commented that even if those
four non-Jews converted,
"few would view this as dra-
matic evidence that a rabbi's
willingness to sancitify such
unions is a significant spur
to creating a Jewish family."
Noting that synagogue at-
tendance among young cou-
ples without children is spor-
adic at best, Rabbi Raphael
suggested that the record of
Call Collect
the 114 couples was probably
worse. He found that "less
than one-third of the couples
attended a synagogue on
either High Holy Day, less
than one-fifth attended a syn-
agogue,on any other occasion
during the year, and only 14
couples attended a synagogue
on both a High Holy Day
and one other occasion."
He described as "even
more discouraging to the
Jewish survivalist was the
fact that 11 of these 14 cou-
ples attended a church to-
gether on at least two oc-
casions during the year."
He reported that 21 couples
of the 114 claimed "to do one
or more of the following on
Friday evenings: kindle can-
dles, chant or recite the short
blessing for the wine, thank
God for food. Only one non-
Jewish bride regularly kin-
dled candles — she was con-
sidering conversion — and
not one non-Jewish groom
blessed the wine or bread."
In summary, more than eight
of every ten of the 114 cou-
ples were without any ritual
at the Sabbath meals, he re-
ported.
"More couples exchanged
presents with each other on
Christmas than on Hanuka,
three of every four couples
exchanged presents with par-
ents on Christmas, and while
more couples kindled Hanuka
lights than decorated Christ-
mas trees, only 31 cmples
did the former at all." He
noted that most of the 31 not
only lit candles and ex-
changed gifts on Hanuka but
exchanged gifts with each
other on Christmas as well.
Thirty-seven couples "did at-
tend a seder somewhere, but
more than half of these spent
part of Easter Sunday in
church."
None of the intermarried
wives had become a mother,
so Rabbi Raphael asked the
couples planning children
whether, if their first child
was a boy, they would plan
a ritual circumcision or a
baptism for him. Less than
one of four couples could
make a choice and among
those 27 couples, "they split
almost evenly over the two
ceremonies." Only about 10
per cent of the couples
planned a brit for their fu-
ture son.
Rabbi Raphael said he had
located 13 couples in Colum-
bus, 0., who entered mixed
marriages in the period from
1964 to 1966. Ten of the 13
husbands were Jewish and
none of the brides had con-
verted. Of the bridegrooms
who were non-Jews at mar-
riage, one later converted.
Among the 14 couples, Rab-
bi Raphael found 11 children
of public school age. One at-
tends a synagogue religious
school, four are in church
schools "and six express
either indifference or inde-
cision in the matter of re-
ligious schooling."
Rabbi 'Raphael said there
was one encouraging finding.
Those couples who had "ex-
tensive" contacts with the
officiating rabbi before their
marriage had considerably
more Jewish experiences
after their marriage than
those couples that met with
the rabbi only once.
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THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
Friday, September 7, 1973-41