Friday, August 28, 1970-7
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
If you're going back to school,
you've got a multiple choice.
Mark your answers in the appropriate square with a
number two leaded pencil. If you wish to change your
answer, erase thoroughly and completely. Mark only
one answer for each question, except in the "CON-
TEMPORARY" category, question number 2, which has
two correct answers. Remember that these tests will be
computer scored, and the computer couldn't care less
whether you pass or fail.
TRADITIONAL
CONTEMPORARY
CHEAP
1. These traditional slacks are...:
❑ A. Already hanging in your
closet.
❑ B. The bottom half of a good
looking suit which you can
buy at Osmun's.
C.
Like
the kind your father wears.
❑
❑ D. Not suited to Berkley, where
you've recently enrolled.
1. These contemporary slacks...:
❑ A. Are slightly. flared.
❑ B. Get caught in your bicycle
chain.
❑ C. Are hanging on a hanger at
Osmun's.
❑ D. Are too tight.
1. These cheap pants are...:
❑ A. Inexcusable.
❑ B. Made of corn syrup, artificial
flavoring, artificial coloring,
salt and corn silk.
❑ C. Cheap.
❑ D. Worn through in the back.
2. This contemporary jacket...:
❑ A. Won't keep out mosquitos.
❑ B. Will be shaped to your skinny
little body by Osmun's,
tailors.
❑ C. Is also available at Osmun's,
who incidentally is paying
for this ad.
❑ D. Is a constant source of
irritation to Merle Haggard.
(Singer of "Okie from
Muskogie".)
2. This cheap jacket is...:
❑ A. Repugnant.
❑ B. Available at the Salvation Army.
❑ C. A means of lashing out at
authority which you overtly
reject, yet secretly in personal
moments, despise.
❑ D. Too big.
2. This traditional jacket...:
❑ A. Can be perfectly fitted by
Osmun's tailors.
❑ B. Looks like something tricky
Dicky would wear.
C. Is matched to the slacks.
❑
D.
Is
great for job inter-
❑
viewing in Ohio.
3. Over all, the pants and jacket...:
. ❑ A. Look stunning.
❑ B. Makes you look like a
Chicago banker.
C. Are not something Abbie
❑
Hoffman would wear.
❑ D. Are available for a
reasonable price at Osmun's.
4.
You would wear a suit like this to...:
❑ A. Meet your intended's parents.
❑ B. Present a list of demands to
the Dean.
C. A pigsty grudge orgy.
❑
❑ D. Only A and C - of the above
are true.
3. Over all, the pants and jacket...:
❑ A. Look together.
❑ B. Look together if and only if
the pants and jacket are worn
in conjunction with each
other.
❑ C. Won't cost too much.
❑ D. Are void where prohibited by
law.
4.
You would wear a combination like
this to...:
A. Marineland of the Pacific.
❑
❑ B. Get smashed.
C. See Myra Breckenridge.
❑
❑ D. Make your roommate eat his
- heart out.
Stores for men and young men
. 3. Over all, the pants and jacket...:
A. Lacks savoir faire.
❑
❑ B. Are a sure fire way to collect
unemployment compensation.
❑ C. Clash.
D.
Don't
really look as bad as
❑
all that.
4.
You would wear a combination like
this to...:
❑ A. Swing with Henny Youngman.
❑ B. Have your bank account audited
by the Internal Revenue.
C. A three day Guy Lombardo rock
❑
festival.
❑ D. Buy some new clothes at...
smuis
Open evenings 'til 9 in the Tel-Twelve Mall (Telegraph and 12 Mile in Southfield), Tech Plaza Center
(12 Mile and Van Dyke in Warren), and Tel-Huron Center (Telegraph and Huron in Pontiac). Our downtown Pontiac
store is open Friday evenings 'til 9. Osmun's Charge, Bank Americard and Master Chargecard.