Scholarly Works Present Traditional Jewish
Attitudes on Marriage, Divorce, Birth Control
Sex, marriage, divorce and related that "love," the physical attraction
topics have never been tabooed in of two persons, is an all sufficient
Jewish traditional discussions. On condition for marriage and that the
the contrary, the reverence with absence of compatibility in reli-
which the issues have been faced gious background, education, per-
through the ages gave the subject sonal ideals, or temperament is an
matter status as valid ideology irrelevant consideration.
confronting mankind. It is only
"It is this attitude which leads
when the issues are dragged
directly to the idea that any new
through the gutter pornographical-
affair into which either partner
ly that they become objectionable.
may permit himself to be drawn
Scores of books have been pub- may also be justified on the ground
lished in recent months on the of love, and that the oath of mu-
various subjects relating to family tual loyalty, which is the heart of
life. They cover the issues from the the marriage ceremony, may then
Jewish point of view and they be abrogated without compunction.
touch upon birth control, contra-
"Modern men and women, and
ception, the divorce problem.
above all, contemporary young
Perhaps one of the most impres-
sive of the recent books is the one
that is perhaps the shortest. In less
than 60 pages, Dr. Robert Gordis,
discussing "Sex, and the Family iu
the Jewish Tradition" touches upon
many issues and makes these vital
points:
people, are failing to respond
affirmatively to the idea of the
holiness of marriage as taught by
religion, becasue they have too
often seen it linked with an irra-
tional and unrealistic concept of
human nature. Rejecting the lat-
ter. they refuse to accept the
former. Yet there is no necessary
The three basic, interdepend-
connection between the two. Juda-
ent Jewish concepts of the sanc-
ism proves that a rational yet
tity of the total human person-
idealistic attitude is entirely pos-
ality, the union of sex and love,
sible. Judaism rejects the idea that
and the holiness of marriage
offer men and women the great-
sex is a sin, marriage a prison,
est measure of hope, as they
and divorce a punishment for a
seek the evasive but eternally
crime. To fly directly in the face
beckoning goal of nobler, wiser
of the realities of human nature
living.
and happier
means to court disaster. But to
In this small book published by accept the natural and to sanctify
Burning Bush Press, Dr. Gordis it, is the heart and essence of the
states his views in an appeal for Jewish tradition."
adherence to tradition and for
In the consideration of these
fealty to established ideals, defined
as "The Sanctity of Marriage," attention-demanding subjects, it is
urgent that a view like Dr. Gordis'
declaring:
should be heard.
"We need to devote greater at-
* c •
tention to the teaching of the Jew-
Many of the books on sex and
ish concept of marriage and moral-
marriage, divorce and the abroga-
ity. In the face of the countless
temptations which modern life tion of traditions, serve to clarify
issues, to define established Jewish
affords, the subject can no longer
regulations, to indicate the frank-
be ignored. Jewish ethical insights
ness with which the subjects were
and attitudes on sex and the fam-
discussed and the respect with
ily must be introduced into our
which sex is treated in Jewish law
schools, our camps, the program
of our young people's organiza- and lore.
Major among the works on the
tions, our sisterhoods and men's
clubs. Above all, the systematic laws related to sex problems is one
study of Jewish values in this area that was first published in 1948 and
should enter the field of youth and has just been reissued by Ktav
adult education. Time was when Publishing House. It is the classic
the whole area of sex education on the subject, "Sex Laws and
could be left in the hands of par- Customs in Juadism" by Dr. Louis
ents with a fair hope of success. M. Epstein. A new introduction to
Today, parents themselves are left the late Rabbi Epstein's thesis by
with only the tattered remnants of a medical man, Dr. Afi Kiev, sup-
a code. They cannot be expected to plements the noted scholar's anal-
transmit to their children the au- yses and indicates the normality in
thentic content of the tradition with Jewish life in relation to sex and
the requisite knowledge, insight the relationships between the sexes
that obviated the creation of a
and sympathy.
problem of social conduct. The
"In addition to an educational factors emphasized in the Bible on
program on sex and family moral- such codes, Dr. Kiev points out,
ity, our congregations and sister- were "geared to the stability of
hoods ought to establish, on all age the family and the community."
levels, a broadly-based system of
Concerning himself with the
personal counseling, before, dur-
ing and after marriage. In these moral foundations of sex control,
Rabbi
Epstein, more than 20 years
centers the technical knowledge
and scientific skill of the psycholo- ago, discussed nudity and expo-
gist would be enriched by the sure, sex perversion, prostitution,
ideals of the Jewish tradition ex- rape and seduction, adultery and
pounded by the scholars and rab- scores of other problems — all in
bis, who would apply them with relation to Jewish codes of conduct
and the moral obligations that
insight and sympathy to the prob-
must lead to a good family life.
lems of fallible human beings.
Nakedness, if it is vulgar and
Such counseling institutes might
well be sponsored by several con- barbaric, is depicted as contrary
to
Jewish codes of morality, and
gregations in a given locality to
exposure is similarly described as
underwrite the program.
a violation of Jewish laws.
"Only if we recapture the reli-
The late Dr. Epstein's "Sex
gious attitude toward marriage as
Laws and Customs" is a remark-
a compact in which not two, but
able work because it is so all-
three, partners are involved — a
inclusive, because it deals with
man, a woman and God—can we
all basic practices at weddings.
hope to recreate a sense of the
It gives an analysis of laws and
seriousness of the obligation under-
customs, and defines such prac-
taken by young people in marriage.
tices as cutting brides' hair,
In no other way can our generation
ornaments and cosmetics as
relearn the truth that marriage is
viewed in traditional acceptanc-
a union of body and spirit, in which
es, and other related subjects.
husband and- wife are bound to
Dr. Epstein's analyses provide
each other by a sacred duty which
explanations
of segregation of
goes far beyond the drive of phy-
sical infatuation or the economic sexes in public places, flirtations
and
love
making
as related in Bible
and social advantages of living to-
gether. We must reject the danger- stories, in parables, in traditions;
sex
familiarities,
prostitution, pro-
ous and usually insincere doctrine
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
Friday, April 10, 1970 - 41
fessional harlotry and scores cf
other subjects in the sexual as-
pects.
Dr. Lamm's 'Insights
Into Married Life'
A small 80-page booklet but one
of considerable significance is "A
Hedge of Roses—Jewish Insights
Into Marriage and Married Life"
by Prof. Norman Lamm.
Philipp Feldheim:.published this
impressive booklet in which the
author views marriage as a sanc-
tified experience and as a spiritual
institution. Dr. Lamm deals with
the laws, of purity and their im-
portance in Jewish tradition. "Pur-
ity is that life-long education in the
love of life which commences even
before life begins," he declares.
Dr. Lamm emphasizes that
"Family purity represents the joy-
ous Jewish affirmation of life and
the abohorrence of death and suf-
fering." He states that "the insti-
tution of the mikva, through the
symbol of the waters offers the
possibility of a magnificent begin-
ning for human life in love with
life."
0 0
Numerous Essays on
Judaism and Divorce
birth control was published in re-
cent months. "Birth Control in
Jewish Law" by Rabbi David M.
Feldman of Brooklyn, published
by New .York University Press, is
one of the most thorough presen-
tations.
Based upon research into the
major Jewish codes and commen-
taries that had dealt with the sub-
ject, Rabbi Feldman's analyses
contain comparative references to
Christian traditions.
The legalism in Jewish laws,
the rules discussed in the Talmud,
rabbinic attitudes are summarized
in this splendid work.
The `pru u'rvy"—be fruitful
and multiply in the Bible injunc-
tion—receives added value in the
interpretation of the joy of mar - ,
ried life, of the respect for sex
in Jewish tradition, of thT—fict
that while the bearing of chil-
dren is an accepted duty for
women there are regulations
permitting birth control when
the value of life enters into the
consideration of the problems
that may arise.
Birth Control in Jewish
Law, Marital Relations,
Contraception, Abortion
Without doubt one of the most
important studies on the subject of
embodied in the legal tradi-
tion."
Rabbi Feldman's "Birth Control
in Jewish Law" is a must volume
for all who seek knowledge on the
question of sex life as embodied
in Jewish tradition.
•
•
*
`Choosing a Sex Ethic'
Among the new works that have
attracted great interest and in
which a positive approach is taken
to current practices and their re-
lation to Jewish codes is the
Schocken Books product, "Choos-
ing a Sex Ethic — A Jewish In-
quiry" by Dr. Eugene B. Borowitz.
In this thorough study that is ex-
tensively annotated, drawing upon
fact and legend, the codes in Jew-
ish lore and the rabbinic teach-
Rabbi Feldman emphasizes not ings, Dr. Borowitz states:
"In recent years the Jew has
only the respect for sex as such
but also the duty not to deny one- been quite concerned about the
change
in sexual attitudes. He still
self sexual pleasures and certainly
for husband not to deny it to his abhors adultery, for he knows it
destroys the possibility of mar-
wife.
This valuable study refers to the riage as it ought to be, and he
Pill, to its "analogue in the Tal- wants that and a loving family
mud's 'cup of roots' ('kos shel ik- for himself and his children. The
karin')" and he explains that the latter he knows will go on to a
group in rabbinic ranks that was higher education and thus marry
for restriction of contraceptives late. He is proud of the old Jew-
ish sexual morality, but he some-
raised their objections to the
times wonders whether there is
methods that were then available not something ethical about a
on grounds that they "involved young couple, really in love, hav-
onanistic thwarting of the sex act ing intercourse with one another,
or interfered with the wife's phys- provided that they use contracep-
Because of the concern that is
now being shown in the increased
divorce rate, another volume pub-
lished by Ktav earns serious atten-
tion.
In Ktav's "Jews and Divorce,"
edited by Jacob Freid, there are
nine essays by authoritative writers
on subjects of alienation, marriage,
divorce, statistical figures and
views on sex and Jewish tradtions.
Dr. Freid is chairman of the
Jewish Braille Institute. His intro-
ductory essay points to the serious-
ness of the issues discussed in this ical gratification."
book. In a foreword, Mrs. Rhoda
Turning to authoritative sourc-
B. Simon, who heads the commis-
es, Rabbi Feldman quotes from
sion on divorce for the New York
Nahmanides,
the great scholar
Federation of Jewish Philanthro-
the 700th anniversary of whose
pies, adds emphasis to the need to
death
will
be
marked
this year
probe the problems at hand.
and he quotes him to indicate .
There is a survey on divorce
sex
how
•Jewish
law
treats
records in Cincinnati and a study
taboos: °No one should claim
of the incidence of divorce among
God
ugly
or
unseemly,
that
it
is
Jews in England among the essays
forbid! For intercourse is called
in this volume, in addition to stu-
knowing, therefore marital in-
dies by Profs. Menahem M. Brayer
tercourse under proper circum-
and Nathan Goldberg; Dr. Nathan
stances is an exalted matter ...
W. Ackerman, George Rothman.
Now you can understand what
David R. Mace, and Rabbis Julius
our Rabbis meant when they de-
Kravetz and Seymour Siegel.
clared that when a husband
Facts and figures in this collec-
unites with his wife in holiness,
tion of essays add valuably to
the Divine Presence abides with
knowledgeability on the subject cf
them."
divorce among Jews.
Rabbi Feldman relates instances
when
abortion is permitted in Jew-
Dr. Mandel's Advice on "How
ish law. He lists Responsa on the
to Be Married and Happy'
subject and comments on situations
Dr. Morris Mandel is a psychia- in which women find themselves
trist. He has gathered many inci- necessitating humane considera-
dents from his experience on the tions. He states that the Rabbis
basis of which he has written relied on woman's "maternal in-
"How to Be Married and Happy," stinct and on the safeguards which
published by Jonathan David.
they instituted; beyond that, their
He states, for example: "It is lurnane compassion for the wel-
wise to remember that a beautiful fare of the woman, alive and ac-
wife is good for a week, but a good tual, moved them to be guided by
wife is beautiful all her life," and the principle, 'the pain comes
he quotes Arthur Guiterman's first.' " There was no prohibition
poem "Husband and Wife" to illus- against abortion in instances that
trate his point.
demanded it.
Dr. Mandel's is a popular book.
There is an interesting conclud-
into
the
lives
of
people
delves
It
ing note in this very valuable work.
to get at the root of problems,
Rabbi Feldman states:
and there is frankness in ap-
proaching issues.
In fact, one chapter in his book
is headed "Guerilla Tactics in
Marital Disputes." The daughter-
in-law mother-in-law conflic t,
where it exists, is not ignored,
and grandparents' dilemmas are
viewed in an ef'ort to place the
issue on record and to help solve
whatever tensions may emerge.
,
•
*
procreation, especially if steps
are not taken to provide for the
proper nature of the posterity
to whom we give life. But self-
indulgence in the opposite direc-
tion is the target of rabbinic ef-
forts at hallowing life. This sa-
cred goal they pursued through
the spiritual-moral disciplines
tives.
"I think in this question as in
many others he will have to con-
sider whether the Jewish people,
from whom he has gained and
continues to gain so much, can
long continue if it is satisfied only
-to -try to be decent rather than
struggle for moral excellence as
a regular way of life. Jews who
secularize the traditional terms of
Jewish existence are ending its
capacity to produce large numbers
of men of value and are terminat-
ing its contribution to society.
Thoge are secular goals. From the
Jewish view they are breaking
down; Israel's Covenant with God.
Ethical persons, in sexual as in
other matters, are to be praised
highly. But that is simply not good
enough if human history as a whole
is to be transformed and fulfilled.
What we need today, as Judaism
has always insisted in the past, is
devotees of excellence in right-
eousness, that is, Jews, real Jews,
who will live the Covenant by sanc-
tifying every aspect of their exis-
tence and most certainly their sex-
ual behavior. Perhaps they will
be a minority in the Jewish com-
munity today, as they occasionally
were in the past. Yet I believe
that there are such people in the
American Jewish community today
and that this faithful minority may
once again be the most important
part of this unusual people as it
stubbornly continues on its mes-
sianic way. I do not know precisely
what the details of such a sancti-
"As to the problem of the fying Covenant existence for every
world at large, we might ima- area of life would be like in this
gine that the advice of the clas- shifting modern world, nor do I
sic Rabbis, if it were solicited, think it easy in this civilization to
would read something like the stay for long on that level. None-
following: Personal morality and theless, I believe much of the old
the holiness of the individual Jewish life style is transferrable
human being demand that sex- or adaptable to our situation, as
uality not be abused; that man's I hope this discussion of sexual
heterosexual nature be preserved relations has manifested. I be-
and properly expressed. More- lieve Jews who share this faith
over, as this-worldly spiritual ori- ought to have the courage to trust
entation requires the application that, as we go forward in loyalty
of both idealism and enlightened to that ancient Covenant, we shall,
responsibility. It would be just haltingly, find an authentic way
as recklessly self-indulgent to to fulfill God's purposes in history
overbreed as to refrain from with His help."