Old Problem Explored by LocaL Rabbinate Jewish partner) have had a posi- Hertz says he has "painfully1 Far apart as their positions home, devoid of Jewish content, (Concluded from Page 56) practices and commitment is re- under i d e a I circumstances, live Jewish education, it comes learned that the rabbi's refusal were, many Orthodox, Conserva- sponsible for the lack of under- where 'both partners enter into into play here. In many instances, to officiate will have no bearing tive and Reform standing that should motivate the this venture openly and willingly, they seek to join the synagogue." on their intentions of getting mar- respondents were selection of a marriage partner. conversion and ensuing marriage He pointed out, with some em- ried anyway, and the image of a at one • on the My experience has indicated that can be a happy experience all phasis, that the rising intermar- harsh, unyielding religion sticks "whys" of inter- no branch of Judaism, with the marr i age. It is around: for the couple who makes riage rate "is not among the Re- in their memories." possible ekception of extreme "not a cause but that commitment, and for the Jew- form. Those coming to me are not- have tried the sour ap- a symptom`;" said Orthodox, IEN succeeded in estab- . "We . '' ----7 ish community which benefits from Temple Israel." proach of rejection and refusal," lishing such home life." i Regardless of the source, Dr. he commented. "Maybe a little Rabbi D o n n, from that commitment. It sounds like a simple solution. "and a result of Eighty per cent of all Reform Fram insists that "the calculated more honeyed understanding, a the general 'with- But in this complex society, there rabbis in this country who were T risk (of performing a mixed mar- , little more kindness and comp as- are no simple solutions. Were every of polled in 1966 on the sentiments 'riage) is worth it if I can save two sion, will produce better results. real ering away' liv- Jew to vow on Yom Kippur that Jewish of their converts to Judaism re- or three families for Judaism. We At feast we know that the fornier his home, henceforth, will be that - • ing even among plied that the converts have been win much more than we lose." method hasn't worked and hasn't t h ose model for which every rabbi h In discussing his changing posi- stopped stoped the flood of intermarri- assets to Jewish life. yearns, intermarriage would still Dr. Donin e s s loyalty to - - from rising." Yet, there are times when a tion on the question of mixed ages Jewish causes and horror at inter- be among us. So long as children rabbi is not in - the position to marriage. Dr. Hertz made these are not hermetically sealed into Dr. Hertz concurs with the view marriage." . make demands. Most admit that comments : "I firmly believe," wrote Rah- a totally Jewish environment, there there are exceptional circum- . "I can tell you, some of the most of Rabbi Syme, who observed that possibility they will one day Millgram, "that if the Jewish is stances, such as pregnancy, in anguished moments I haye had as that "The time has come for Jews bi home, and the Jewish commun. have to make a decision: to marry which they will relax the rules on a rabbi have been with parents of . to consider the idea of taking the or not to marry a Gentile. spiritual and a intermarriage, if &illy out of con- , a Jewish boy about to marry a matter of conversion seriously. ity, were not Intermarriage, an old bogey of e Why be apologetic about our cultural wasteland, many of the non-Jewish girl. I believe w sideration for the unborn child. problems that we now face, in- the Jewish people, won't go away to discour- Judaism? I've found Judaism to Rabbi Ernst J. Conrad of the sh o u ld do all we can we close our eyes to it, of that if be intermarriage, would eluding N ew Temple said that "Under ' age intermarriage; but when a be tremendously appealing to col- con- far more manageable. I person- we can be sure. But if we talk certain circumstances to be ascer- boy falls in love with a non-Jew-lege students. When I teach the parent ve•ts, they ask why not publicize ally feel that we, as usual, are about it rationally and without tainedlafter a series of premarital is h girl, or vice-versa, conferences, the promises to raise cannot cut out of his heart his the message of Israel to the non- our own worst enemies." hysteria, we just might come to Said Rabbi Conrad: "A Jewish some 20th Century answers. any issue from this marriage in own child. A parent's love for his Jewish world?" the Jewish religion suffices. Again, child is unconditional, not to be - -------- under exceptional circumstances, proffered on condition that the Lef ance I have not required any promise child please his parents by the , choice of mate, nor is every child or commitment." • By RABBI SAMUEL J. FOX (Copyright 1969. JTA, Inc.) Sixty years ago, the Central commanded to do only those Conference of American Rabbis things that will make his parents • Basically, the Kol Nidre Is a Why is it required to recite the "discourag- happy. For a Jewish parent to passed a resolution full confessional ritual in the legal formula and not a prayer as a officiating" at consider his child who marries In a special High Holy Day call ing rabbis from afternoon service of the day be- many think. Legal formulas are mixed marriages. Reaffirmed in Gentile as being lost to them is to the American Jewish commun- not to be pronounced on the Sal,- fore Yom Kippur? 1937, this official—but unenforce- sinful." ity, nearly 1,000 American rabbis one thing, it was requiredbath or on the holidays. Therefore, The problem does not dis- For have warned that an alliance of sun- able — attitude of the Reform this formula is chanted before sun- appear, he added, "just because of set so as to avoid desecrating the the one enter the extreme left with Arab props- that rabbinate declares "mixed mar- Atonement, clean of sin Day with his rabbis reaffirm their belief that gandists in the United States and riage' (that of Jew to unconvert- holiday of Yom Kippur • which they ought to discourage inter- elsewhere is aimed at destroying record bared so that he could re- begins at sunset. ed Gentile) is contrary to the marriages as being contrary to the traditional bonds of friendship ceive atonement at once with the tradition of the Jewish religion How does one greet his fellow the Jewish tradition." between Israel and the nations of coming of the ,Day of Atonement. and should therefore be discour- Atonement Dr. Hertz agreed with Rabbi the free world. As is the case with many Jewish Jew after the Day of aged by the American rabbin- Syme that most Jewish partners in . The rabbis made this observ -a- holidays the preparatory stages of is over in the synagogue? . ate "l The French grammarian, Rabbi Most Detroit area Reform rah. an intermarriage "have come from ' tion in a call to the American getting ready for the holiday are bis concur with that position. Two Orthodox and Conservative back- Jewish community to join the often more important and more David Kimhi, mentions an old cus- —Rablois Syme and Leon Frain. grounds and," Dr. Hertz added, Zionist Organization of America critical than the actual day of ob- servance itself. He who has torn where each Jew would greet both 4f Temple Israel—openly de- ; "have turned to a Reform rabbi during this tense period of crisis dared their disagreement, along because of the greater severity in the Middle East and to support cleansed himself of sin by repent- his fellow Jew by some expression with several hundred o t b e r s imposed by the rejection of their ZOA's services to the progress of ance and charity before the Day of which would offer a blessing to the Israel and a creative future for Atonement can properly observe effect that he wishes him that his throughout the country. At least l denominations." the Day of Atonement in a state of one other—Dr. Richard C. Hertz I In advising the temple board of American Jewry. of Temple Beth El—admits that trustees of his desire to modify The rabbis who signed their purity and seeming angelic perfec- tion. It is also claimed that the ed. The 13th Century Italian scho- "I think the time has come when his position on mixed marriages, names to the appeal said that rabbis prefer to have the confes- lar and physician, Rabbi Zedekialt I must modify my own stand." Dr. Hertz said he has "discover- "The ZOA deserves the mass On the one hand, there is the ed that many couples have more support of the Jewish commun- sion made before the final meal is mentioned a similar blessing. As a eaten before the Day of Atone- matter of fact, some scholars feel opinion expressed by Rabbi Ber- of a psychological problem than a ity and the strength of organ- ment. If the confession was made that this kind of blessing was an kowitz: "Statistically, mixed mar- theological one in accepting con- ized large numbers backed by riages are disastrous. In good version before marriage. Many adequate resources." after the -final meal, the worship- exchange between worshipers In their message, the rabbis per might become drowsy or intoxi- after every prayer service in the conscience, I couldn't say certain couples don't become ready for things in the ceremony, things Judaism until some time after the warned that Israel is threatened cated from his meal or drink, thus synagogue. For some reason or like 'a life hallowed by the faith wedding, often not until children, by terrorist bands and that "an unable to concentrate properly on other, in many Occidental syna- this greeting seellis to have I enduring peace is still far away." the confession (Talmud Yoma gogues of Israel,' or in the case of the arrive. fallen into disuse, probably be- ring ceremony, 'according to the ' "To set a standard for non-Jews They continued: "Israel's quest 87B). cause the worshipers are in such a * * law of God and the faith of Israel.' to study Judaism before a rabbi for direct negotiations with the hurry to get home to eat. Many If a couple comes to me and won't , will officiate, without holding the Arab countries is not helped by Why is the Kol Nidre chanted Oriental-type synagogues still use convert, I can't marry them just same standard for the Jewish the political efforts of outside on Yom Kippur eve before sun- this greeting after Yom Kippur is to please the family. I refer such partner is somewhat hypocritical." forces driving to impose a settle- Over in the synagogue. set instead of after sunset? . rabbi." said Dr. Hertz. "Why should a n ment " . er ra a couple to snot her "Another rabbi:' is either Dr. illiterate Jew, because of the ac- Fram or Rabbi . Syme, both of cident of Jewish birth by a Jewish whom will perform mixed mar- mother, have a greater priority on riages in given circumstances. the rabbi than the non-Jewish "When a couple comes to me," partner? This suggests a double said Rabbi Syme, "I try to deter- standard." In the past, Dr. Hertz has turn- mine what their very individual feelings are. If their religious ed over those couples who do not to premarital conversion to agree differences are too great—if she says, for example, 'I don't know a justice of the peace. Now, how- if I can give up Christ'—I cannot ever, he is willing to officiate A perform such a marriage, even if the couple will study Judaism and she is willing to convert. I send consider conversion some time after t-Ara b Alli Warned by Rabbis in Call to Jewry Yom Kippur Quiz Keep the Jewish Family Linked to Our Traditions .. . Assure Identification for Youth with the Family and the People .. . them to a justice of the peace." As the wedding; if a marriage counselor, he stresses the couple—even that "The more two people have in without pre-mar- common, the greater chance they ital conversion— have for happiness." promises that the Rabbi Fram can recount num. children of will marriage erou instances of young couples be raised in the who came to him not out of any and particular Jewish feeling but Jewish faith out of the desire to be married in a house of God. "If we don't marry them, who will? If they want a rabbi to marry them, there is at least a `foot in the door.' If they are sent away, they may be lost for good." Rabbi Syme added: "Very often. the non-Jewish partner isn't ready to convert until later, although they're willing to be married in a synagogue. After marriage, people change • Whereas the marriage may have been out of defiance to- wardi their parents, once children comet, they change. IS they (the THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS f.8 t ... Provide your children with knowledge that makes for spiritual strength ... Sybscribe for them and your friends- to the couple, w ill identify with a synagogue; and if the couple is beyond child- bearing age and each prefers to remain in his or The Jewish News Dr. Hertz her respective faith. He stressed, however, that "where the couple indicates that they will not raise their children in the Jewish faith, I will not officiate." While he is still opposed to the marriage of mixed couples, Dr. Friday, September 19, 1969-45 THE JEWISH NEWS 17100 W. 7 Mile Rd. 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