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December 13, 1968 - Image 53

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1968-12-13

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

Lt

mong Jewish Singles Starting at Last to Swing

By CHARLOTTE DUBIN
Life should be a gas to the young
and single in a swinging genera-
tion. If be's Jewish, all the better
— Doors are open, the American
Enlightenment has brought cult-
ural and economic opportunity
never fathomed by the Jew in his
shtetl. Life sure can be a gas.
But it isn't always. Not when
there's no place to swing. Recall-
ing their own idyllic youth, par-
ents are annoyed when their off-
spring complain of insufficient
social outlets within the Jewish
community. And they're annoyed
still further if, spurning their ef-
forts to match him up, Sonny
takes out a "shiksa."
The dating game is rugged in
faceless, urban America. It's
rougher still for the young Jew.
On the one hand, he rejects reli-
gious barriers; on the other hand,
his desire for social contact most
often leads him to other Jews.

They are not always easy to
find, however. College social life
on the gigantic urban campus is
not all it's cracked up to be, and
for those who do not attend col-
lege, it is all the more difficult.
To them, the current accepted

channel of introduction — the bar
frequented by young adults — is
both expensive and chancy. It's
one in a hundred that the beautiful
blond sitting over there is Jewish.
Besides, if she's a "nice, Jewish
girl," what's she doing in a bar?
In Detroit, there are some 9,200
Jewish single young adults from
age 18 to 30 — 10 per cent of the
total Jewish population here.
Their importance to the com-
munity, the need to reach them, is
recognized by Jewish leaders. How
to reach them is another matter.
They reject activities arranged for
them, and they rarely, if ever,
show up for a communal activity.
This has been interpreted — right-
ly or wrongly — as a rejection of
the community.
The oldest existing active organ-
ization of young adults, the Junior
Division of the Jewish Welfare
Federation, is not socially oriented,
but is concerned primarily with

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

0000000000

fund raising and education. The at Temple Israel for young adults
division leadership would be the 20-35.
first to admit that most young
Synagogues have a difficult
adults are unaware of, or uncon-
time attracting young adults,
cerned with, its existence.
despite the institutions' willing-
Fred Rose, a 24-year-old mem-
ness — even eagerness — to
ber of the Jewish Center staff, in-
offer facilities. Organizations
sists that the singles first seek out
come and go, their life and death
a social milieu. Only then, will
often depending on a few key
they evince any concern for ser- leaders. Should one or two of
vice or philanthrOpic activity.
them leave, for marriage or

Early this year, Rose called
all Jewish organizations with
young adult members and found
that the largest single grouping
— and least organized — is the
3,400 Jewish students attending
Wayne State University.
For every student participating

in the activities of Hillel Founda-
tion, the Bnai Brith-sponsored or-
ganization on campus, there are
100 who do not. A portion belong
to Yavneh, an Orthodox group
which meets regularly for lectures
and discussions, and a larger mi-
nority are affiliated with Wayne
State's Jewish fraternities and
sororities. Nevertheless, the vast
majority of students do not active-
ly belong to any Jewish group,
religiously oriented or otherwise.
The next largest area of young
adult membership is the syna-
gogue-sponsored organization. Rose
met with little luck here. The Sha-
arey Zedek young adult group,
which has a listed membership of
300, all but collapses when its
members leave town to attend
school.
Beth Aaron (now Beth Achim)
has a faltering single adult group
of some 40 to 60 members, age 30-
45. Those whom Rose wants to
reach are in a lower age bracket
although he recognizes the need as
equally vital and even more frus-
trating to meet.
PGASP, Post - Graduate Adas
Shalom Presents, caters to the 21-
35 age group and draws anywhere
from 50 for a meeting to 150 for
a dance. The two-year-old organ-
ization, the most successful group
sponsored by a synagogue, focuses
on cultural and social events.
Rose said a fourth group, still in
the embryonic stage, is forming

Friday, December 13, 1968-53

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responsibility. Leadership is not al-
ways easy to come by.
Further, the image projected in
the past by the Jewish Center was
not likely to draw young adults,
who merely considered it a dodder.
ing extension of the Establishment.

All of which makes what is
now happening at the Center
something of a phenomenon.
Called simply the Jewish Com-
other reasons, the group folds.
munity Center Young Adults, it
All singles organizations have is a happy mixture of leaders
similar problems, including Bnai with heady ideas and followers
Brith Young Adults. The Jewish with enthusiasm.
Center has repeatedly started
Wednesday nights, some 100
groups only to see them founder young people in their 20s gather
for want of leadership. at the Center for coffee, games,
This is the plight of the Center Sin- dancing, conversation — anything
gle Adults group, whose members, that occurs to them. On a recent
age 27-40, meet twice monthly at lounge night, Rose met several re-
the Center and hold occasional out- turning servicemen from Vietnam,
side functions under the name Jew- a few college students wearing yar-
ish Social Singles. mulkas, a girl from Czechoslovakia,
Because alcoholic beverages three from Egypt, four airmen from
can't be served on Center premises Selfridge Air Force Base and sev-
and because the group prefers to eral enlistees from Grosse Ile Na-
meet on Friday nights, other lo- val Air Station.
cales are sought for parties. Elaine
The latter find the USO unappeal-
Todd, a legal secretary who was ing, said Rose, "because they can't
serving as chairman of the group, meet Jewish girls there. It's im-
said Jewish Social Singles had ar- portant to them, and I'm afraid
ranged a pre-Thanksgiving party they'd risk going AWOL just to
at an Oak Park apartment hall come to our lounge. It sure is a
but at the last minute had to can- long way to go every Wednesday
cel the event on police orders. night."
Neighbors had complained.
Creation of the Jewish Center
Miss Todd is dismayed at the Young Adults was due largely to
combination of obstacles that have a keen observer's response to an
seemingly been thrown into the incident.
organization's path. Publicity had
Rose had planned an Israeli
erroneously- omitted the group's dance for teen-agers some months
age range, so "teen-agers and ago and, to his surprise, a number
young grandparents" showed up. of young adults showed up. Most
Although 200 are on the mailing left when they discovered the
list, fewer than 50 take part in event wasn't for them, but Rose
events at the Center. In short, it's cornered a few to find out what
a group that feels maligned and they would like to do. As a young
misunderstood by the community adult himself, he knew there was
at large.
a vacuum in programing for this
Another new group in the 25-40 age group, but had not known how
age range is more hopeful. The to tackle it. A planning committee
"M & Ms," which also meets once was formed on the spot, and out
a month for a Friday evening soc- of this came the nucleus of an or-
ial, had a turnout of 90 for a re- ganization.
cent event and feels it's just get-
From 30 at the first lounge, to
ting warmed up. Ben Cooper is one
200 at a dance, the group has
of seven planners in their late 20s
soared in a matter of months,
who map the monthly events. "Our
relying chiefly on word of mouth
only problem is finding locations
for its growing popularity. Al-
big enough," he said. There is no
though there is a 25 cent door
membership fee, only a $2 charge admission to lounge nights, the
at the door.
Center is now offering a special

Cooper is quite satisfied with
the arrangement. They get an
equal distribution of the sexes,
and there is a mixture of occu-
pations. Included on the planning
committee are, for example an
engineer, a sheet metal worker,
a female accountant and a young
woman in the hotel business.

SIO membership fee for mem-
hers of the group, which entitles
them to use of Center facilities.
In addition, the Center plans to
remodel the lounge expressly for
their use.

The Jewish Center administra-
tion is thrilled with the success of
the young adult group and remains
"We don't want to go to bars„, discreetly in the background. Only
Cooper said. "We want to meet Rose functions as the "restraining
our own kind.” Friday night soc- hand of the Center." Nevertheless,
ials are preferred because "Sat- while he provided the catalyst for
creation of the group, and while
urday is date night, and nobody
he considers it "more than a 9-to-5
wants to be out late Sunday." They
job," Rose is, after all, merely
don't like to meet at the Center,
staff representative.
he said, "because it's too regiment-
The leadership is a group of
ed.
young adults headed by Larry Les-
One group which tries to make lie, a 25-year-old Wayne graduate
the best of both worlds is Parents in education, who is determined
Without Partners, which uses Cen- to reach, eventually, every young
ter facilities for meetings but also adult in the community and be-
holds outside cocktail parties un- yond — into Windsor, Flint, Mount
der the name Partnerless ParentS. Clemens.
Members range in age from 28 to
Toward this aim he is assisted
50.
by an executive committee and
Attendance at meetings averages members whose educational and
70. Outside events may draw dou- professional backgrounds are a
ble that number, and the group microcosm of the Jewish commun-
occasionally sponsors parent-child ity itself. "We welcome the ditch-
activities.
digger, as well as the PhD," Les-
The world of a widowed or di- lie says.
vorced parent is far different
Now that the group is on its way,
from that of a single young adult Rose figures "If I left tomorrow,
of 21, but their need for social con- it wouldn't make any difference;
tact is the same.
the group could continue without
Whereas the desire always has MC.
existed, however, the fulfillment
"Within the next 10 years," he
of this desire has been a fumbling, continued, "we'll be the leaders
if well-meaning, attempt at organ- of the Jewish community. With
ization.
such a Center young adult group,
Young adults do not want others we are perpetuating Jewish identi-
planning their parties and telling fication at the barest minimum.
them how to run an activity like What if we didn't exist? For one
so many children at a kindergar- thing, thousands of young adults
ten social. On the other hand, with no Jewish attachment could
there is always the point at which present a real intermarriage
someone must be willing to assume problem.

"If you don't see young adults
at Jewish community events," be
said, "it's because there's no
communication. They don't real-
ly know what's going on. Maybe
we can fill this gap, maybe we
can show them what this com-
munity is all about."

During its short lifetime, Jew-
ish Center Young Adults has had
Israeli and barn dances, a "Feelin'
Groovy" dance starring the Urban
Renewal, canoeing on the Huron
River, a film festival, touch foot-
ball and bowling every Sunday, in
addition to the Wednesday night
wingdings.
Between college quarters, Dec.
22-29, the group will sponsor a

series of activities, from roller
skating and a record hop to Fri-
day evening services and a day at
Camp Tamarack.
Leslie is convinced that with a
large following, Jewish Center
Young Adults can accommodate
any interest. He's not sorry that
there's a big turnover. "if- they
don't come back, they've either
met somebody or found that this
isn't their cup of tea." (Although
matchmaking isn't the group's aim
in life, Leslie says one couple
who met at the lounge has become
engaged, another is "going
steady. We don't mind at all.")
He pointed out that any single
young adult will be welcome, and
transportation provided if request-
ed.
Rose recalled, with relish, the
Wednesday night ride he arranged
for an attractive young visitor
from Paris. Her knowledge of
English hardly perfect, she didn't
quite understand the questions di-
rected at her during the evening
by several attentive young men.
At 11, when the Center lounge
closed, she had three drivers wait-
ing to take her home.

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