THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
18—Friday, November 22, 1968
Try and Stop Me
By BENNETT CERF
A frustrated, spectacularly un-
successful songwriter collided with
Irving Berlin in a crowded restau-
rant the other evening, reports
Douglas Watt. The writer's wife
was mean enough to point out to
him, "That's the closest you'll ever
get to a song hit, my dear boy."
The songwriter, far from being
crushed, seemed to get ample re-
venge just a few minutes later.
The wife rashly boasted, "Here I
am 38 and I have the figure of a
20-year-old girl." "You better give
it back," responded the songwriter
with what might be called a fiend-
ish chuckle. "You're getting it out
of shape!" •
1. Husband: Why did you fire our
new baby sitter?
Wife: I figured that if our son
was old enough to ask for a red-
headed baby sitter instead of a
brunette, he's old enough to stay
home by himself.
2. Indian chief: Where's that pale-
face I just killed?
Indian warrior: Right over yon-
der. Just follow the arrow.
3. -Patient: Hey, doe, I'm coming
apart at the seams. What do you
Doc. A tablespoonful of glue
three times a day.
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And about your own gracious apartment,
with its brilliant GE kitchen, private terrace,
walk-in closets, wall-to-wall carpeting;
on-every-floor:laundry, storage and
trash disposal facilities.
' Find out the whole story. Send to Dept. 13./3
for the handsome, full color brochure.
Two blocks from
It's called Hillcrest East. A community of
luxury one and two bedroom golf-view
apartments in beautiful Hollywood, Florida
— right in the heart of the famous Gold Coast.
Hillcrest is an established self-contained
community of nearly 1500 residents from
every walk of life, from across the country.
People who have chosen to retire here, or
to start a new life and a new career in this
world of tropical beauty.
From an exam paper at a Chicago
1. Trousers is an uncommon
noun because it is singular on top
and plural on the bottom.
2. Napoleon wanted children, but
since Josephine was a bareness,
she couldn't bare any.
See your Travel Agent
or write direct.
Find out all about it. About the new
recreation center, with its auditorium, pool,
game rooms, billiard tables and bowling .
lanes. About the new Health Pavilion —
fully-equipped with gyms, saunas and
ably-staffed medical facilities. About the
magnificent country club, with its Iwo golf
courses (resident memberships still available).
NEW YORK — The American Bons has announced the election law Gomulka, Polish party leader,
Jewish Conference on Soviet Jew- as chairman of Lewis H. Wein- "to refrain from the use of Stalin-
ry, comprising the 25 major na- stein, Boston lawyer, to succeed ist terror tactics, with show trials
and trumped-up charges."
tional American Jewish Organiza- Rabbi Israel Miller.
Weinstein's first official act was
to announce the launching of a
• TV All • Private • Air Cond.
Plan $88,000,000 Program
massive nationwide campaign for
for Care of Aged Persons
signatures on a petition to bring
NEW YORK (JTA) — A new
fore the United Nations. (The cam-
IN MIAMI BEACH
agency to provide the first volun- paign under way in Detroit is
YOUR LOCATION FOR A
tarily-supported coordinated pro- being co-ordinated by the Jewish
SUN 'N FUN VACATION
$ji • DAILY Dec. 1 - Dec. 15
gram . for care and rehabilitation Community Coun ci 1, 962-1880,
'"W per person double.
of the aged in the New York City which has petitions available.)
25 of 117 rooms.
He called on Leonid Brezhnev,
$6.50' Dec. 15 -Jan. I S
area, with projected capital out-
•Add $2 dly. per pers. Dec. 22-
lays of more than $88,000,000 was Soviet party leader, "to cease the
Jan. 2. Kitchenettes available
announced by the Federation of religious and cultural repression
1751 Collins Ave., Miami Beach
Jewish Philanthropies of New York. of Soviet Jews," and on Wladys-
EXPECTANT MOTHER: Mom-
FRUSTRATION: Nixed emo-
MEMORY—That despairing feel-
ing that comes over you when you
listen to a friend murder your fa-
RICH UNCLE—The kin you love
TEETOTALER: An official golf
TRULY MIAMI BEACH'S
FINEST RESORT HOTEL
OCEAN AT 30th ST.. MIAMI BEAM.'
Boston Attorney Heads Conference on Soviet Jewry
Wife (explaining to her husband
how she wrecked the car): "The
sign said 'Stop, Look and Listen'
and while I was doing it the freight
train hit me."
Employer: "I really WOULD
like to pay you what you're worth,
Crothers, but that minimum wage
law has teeth in it."
Incurable Girl Watcher: "Oh,
what is so bare as a dame in
At the Authors' League: "The
movie they made from my last
book has given me a great idea for
my next one."
On the window of a Broadway
haberdashery: "Our going out of
business sale will resume when
we get back from our vacation."
In a Division Street bar: "The
opinions expressed by the bar-
tender are those of his wife."
In a Norfolk gift shoppe: "Sug-
gestive mother's day gifts."
On the gate of a KKK conclave:
"Out to lynch."
(Copyright 1968, by Bennett Cert. Dis-
by King Features Syndicate).
We are weary of the unreal and
untrue existence we are forced to
lead. —Felix Adler.
See Your Travel Agent
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The KOSHER HOTEL of the Year!
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Enjoy sun-filled days and fun-filled nights with top name entertainers
such as DICK SHAWN, GEORGE JESSEL and EMMETT KELLY
and his fabulous BIG-TOP CIRCUS. Make this the Merriest Christmas
in years and make it great for the whole family!
XMAS-NEW YEAR'S at the HBH means:
FREE GOLF on our own private 18-hole course
• FREE TENNIS • Gala New Year's Eve
parties • Great programs for Youngsters, -
Teens and the College Crowd • Nightly
Dancing and Entertainment • Cocktail
Parties • Buffets • Feature Movies •
Wienie Roasts • Swimming in the Olympic
Pool or from 1,000 ft. of Ocean Beach
plus all the wonderful NEW features and
facilities of the HOLLYWOOD
FOR RESERVATIONS, SEE YOUR
TRAVEL AGENT OR WRITE
ON THE OCEAN AT 6411, ST. MIAMI BEACH
FREE Gala New Year's Eve Midnight Supper & Entertainment
•FREE 21"TV in All Rooms • Music
• Dancing and Entertainment • Ample Parking Facilities
DAILY SERVICE.% IN OUR 010,
$ 1 1 * 0'C'JLl'e''S C
f=y $20 *
2 0 04 ISO moms
Dec.1 to Dec. 15
REF HOLIDAY PM=
under Countelee seleweition
Hilda it Bernie Wiede
SPECIAL 10 DAY HOLIDAY FAMILY PLAN
OFF Person. double Au. One. 15 is lin. 3
SPECIAL RATES FOE CHILI:MU IN SMII LOOM
For the Children
Dec.15 to Jan.5
I•1101 MOM) <0•1.7 saumetit
the ADLER Hotel
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Travel Agent or Phone MIAMI BEACH: 305466.5711e:
GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB • HOLLYWOOD, FLORIDA
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Dec. 18 • April 14 - 131 of 700 Rooms
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