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November 22, 1968 - Image 18

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1968-11-22

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
18—Friday, November 22, 1968

Try and Stop Me

By BENNETT CERF
A frustrated, spectacularly un-
successful songwriter collided with
Irving Berlin in a crowded restau-
rant the other evening, reports
Douglas Watt. The writer's wife
was mean enough to point out to
him, "That's the closest you'll ever
get to a song hit, my dear boy."
The songwriter, far from being
crushed, seemed to get ample re-
venge just a few minutes later.
The wife rashly boasted, "Here I
am 38 and I have the figure of a
20-year-old girl." "You better give
it back," responded the songwriter
with what might be called a fiend-
ish chuckle. "You're getting it out
of shape!" •
DIALOGUES:
1. Husband: Why did you fire our
new baby sitter?
Wife: I figured that if our son
was old enough to ask for a red-
headed baby sitter instead of a
brunette, he's old enough to stay
home by himself.
2. Indian chief: Where's that pale-
face I just killed?
Indian warrior: Right over yon-
der. Just follow the arrow.
3. -Patient: Hey, doe, I'm coming
apart at the seams. What do you
prescribe?
Doc. A tablespoonful of glue
three times a day.

•.75
NOTE. C RO FT

OCEANFRONT LUXURY

Near Lineoln Road

• FREE SELF PARKING On Premises
• Private Beach & Pool
• Card Rooms • Entertainment
• TY in Every Room • Solariums
• 100% Air Conditioned & Heated

PULLMANETTES
AVAILABLE

Write For Information

15th STREET • MIAMI BEACH, FLA

DIRECTLY ON THE OCEAN
NEAR MIK= MALL

RICHMON

3

THE

Ak

Informal and So Friondly

$

gn p
D er
aily 1 e LRe E E ;V in

"

pers. • Pvt. Beach
dbl. occ., • Pool
to Dec. 15. ; •Air Cond.
50 of 110 rooms, I •Coffee Shop
Your Hosts: Fay • Gala XMAS
& Sid Herbert I & NEW YR.
Write for Res. i Parties-
• Free Self Park. • Kitchenettes
Write For Reservations
ON THE OCEAN AT 18 ST.

411 ■ 11•MIAMI BEACH EN=111.

TOWER APARTMENTS

Luxuriously
furnished 1 and
2 bedroom apts.
Each with two
baths and Fla.
room. From

$300.00

You'll want to come down and pick out the
apartment you'd like to move into next fall.

per

1881 WASHINGTON AVENUE
OPPOSITE CONVENTION MU..
SEASON RATES UPON REQUEST

MIAMI BEACH TEL: 305.534-6821

Talking about XMaS VaCatiOn?
talk about the

FREE TO OUR GUESTS.

SHOWER OF STARS

Po Mow
MR Om
law 221611014
MN 15 km Climb.

(mae Geermer
wen
* * * *
::: GALA XMAS
* to
ANO MEW TEARS EYE
$ W Dec. It
PARTIES
SPECIAL'
AM St
SPECIAL PROGRAMS
f or Farrel.: Dels•ro
FOR TOTS I. TEENS
.Gourntel Meals
::: REACH CHAIRS
::: RADIO I. TV IN ROOMS
Write Direct or

t

And about your own gracious apartment,
with its brilliant GE kitchen, private terrace,
walk-in closets, wall-to-wall carpeting;
on-every-floor:laundry, storage and
trash disposal facilities.

' Find out the whole story. Send to Dept. 13./3
for the handsome, full color brochure.

OVERHEARD:

month annually.
Pool, sauna,
cardroom.
self parking.
Two blocks from
Lincoln Road.

PRESENTS
INTERNATIONAL
CABARET REVUE

It's called Hillcrest East. A community of
luxury one and two bedroom golf-view
apartments in beautiful Hollywood, Florida
— right in the heart of the famous Gold Coast.
Hillcrest is an established self-contained
community of nearly 1500 residents from
every walk of life, from across the country.
People who have chosen to retire here, or
to start a new life and a new career in this
world of tropical beauty.

From an exam paper at a Chicago
elementary school:
1. Trousers is an uncommon
noun because it is singular on top
and plural on the bottom.
2. Napoleon wanted children, but
since Josephine was a bareness,
she couldn't bare any.
*

See your Travel Agent
or write direct.

ctagon

A future
to look
forward

Find out all about it. About the new
recreation center, with its auditorium, pool,
game rooms, billiard tables and bowling .
lanes. About the new Health Pavilion —
fully-equipped with gyms, saunas and
ably-staffed medical facilities. About the
magnificent country club, with its Iwo golf
courses (resident memberships still available).

Seville

THE NEW

NEW YORK — The American Bons has announced the election law Gomulka, Polish party leader,
Jewish Conference on Soviet Jew- as chairman of Lewis H. Wein- "to refrain from the use of Stalin-
ry, comprising the 25 major na- stein, Boston lawyer, to succeed ist terror tactics, with show trials
and trumped-up charges."
tional American Jewish Organiza- Rabbi Israel Miller.
Weinstein's first official act was
to announce the launching of a
Free
• TV All • Private • Air Cond.
Plan $88,000,000 Program
massive nationwide campaign for
Beach
Parking Rooms
Pooi
for Care of Aged Persons
signatures on a petition to bring
the
treatment
of
Soviet
Jews
be-
SOUTH SEAS
NEW YORK (JTA) — A new
fore the United Nations. (The cam-
IN MIAMI BEACH
agency to provide the first volun- paign under way in Detroit is
YOUR LOCATION FOR A
tarily-supported coordinated pro- being co-ordinated by the Jewish
SUN 'N FUN VACATION
$ji • DAILY Dec. 1 - Dec. 15
gram . for care and rehabilitation Community Coun ci 1, 962-1880,
'"W per person double.
of the aged in the New York City which has petitions available.)
25 of 117 rooms.
He called on Leonid Brezhnev,
$6.50' Dec. 15 -Jan. I S
area, with projected capital out-
•Add $2 dly. per pers. Dec. 22-
lays of more than $88,000,000 was Soviet party leader, "to cease the
Jan. 2. Kitchenettes available
announced by the Federation of religious and cultural repression
1751 Collins Ave., Miami Beach
Jewish Philanthropies of New York. of Soviet Jews," and on Wladys-

WEBSTER DEFIED:
EXPECTANT MOTHER: Mom-
soon.
FRUSTRATION: Nixed emo-
tions.
MEMORY—That despairing feel-
ing that comes over you when you
listen to a friend murder your fa-
vorite story.
RICH UNCLE—The kin you love
to touch.
TEETOTALER: An official golf
scorer.

TRULY MIAMI BEACH'S
FINEST RESORT HOTEL

OCEAN AT 30th ST.. MIAMI BEAM.'

Boston Attorney Heads Conference on Soviet Jewry

Wife (explaining to her husband
how she wrecked the car): "The
sign said 'Stop, Look and Listen'
and while I was doing it the freight
train hit me."
Employer: "I really WOULD
like to pay you what you're worth,
Crothers, but that minimum wage
law has teeth in it."
Incurable Girl Watcher: "Oh,
what is so bare as a dame in
June?"
At the Authors' League: "The
movie they made from my last
book has given me a great idea for
my next one."

SIGN HERE:
On the window of a Broadway
haberdashery: "Our going out of
business sale will resume when
we get back from our vacation."
In a Division Street bar: "The
opinions expressed by the bar-
tender are those of his wife."
In a Norfolk gift shoppe: "Sug-
gestive mother's day gifts."
On the gate of a KKK conclave:
"Out to lynch."
(Copyright 1968, by Bennett Cert. Dis-

tributed

by King Features Syndicate).

We are weary of the unreal and
untrue existence we are forced to
lead. —Felix Adler.

See Your Travel Agent

ON THE On= AT 17 ST, MANI BEACH

The KOSHER HOTEL of the Year!

The Air Conditioned and Heated

dir n

I

NOTEL• ► OOL
1111 GUIANA
COLONY

•:••••

-.luxur y-
coope rative
apartments

1101 Hillcrest Drive • Hollywood, Florida 33021

priced from $16,990

......- •• ■ ■•■•■ •••Venosk
4 , 40111/ 41110.,••••• ••••••••••••••' 1...,.. ....

Christmas at the
Hollywood Beach Hotel...
“dist •
9 , Aoqi

,„

Wllie

duove et.T .

Give yourself a gift of a REAL FAMILY VACATION where parents
can relax while the youngsters enjoy a planned program of activities
-
under trained counselor supervision.

Enjoy sun-filled days and fun-filled nights with top name entertainers
such as DICK SHAWN, GEORGE JESSEL and EMMETT KELLY
and his fabulous BIG-TOP CIRCUS. Make this the Merriest Christmas
in years and make it great for the whole family!

XMAS-NEW YEAR'S at the HBH means:
FREE GOLF on our own private 18-hole course
• FREE TENNIS • Gala New Year's Eve
parties • Great programs for Youngsters, -
Teens and the College Crowd • Nightly
Dancing and Entertainment • Cocktail
Parties • Buffets • Feature Movies •
Wienie Roasts • Swimming in the Olympic
Pool or from 1,000 ft. of Ocean Beach
plus all the wonderful NEW features and
facilities of the HOLLYWOOD
BEACH HOTEL!

-

$22°°*-

FOR RESERVATIONS, SEE YOUR
TRAVEL AGENT OR WRITE

ON THE OCEAN AT 6411, ST. MIAMI BEACH

FREE Gala New Year's Eve Midnight Supper & Entertainment

•FREE 21"TV in All Rooms • Music

• Dancing and Entertainment • Ample Parking Facilities

DAILY SERVICE.% IN OUR 010,

$ 1 1 * 0'C'JLl'e''S C
'
f=y $20 *
2 0 04 ISO moms

Dec.1 to Dec. 15

INCLUDING

STRICT

REF HOLIDAY PM=
under Countelee seleweition

111151111404

Hilda it Bernie Wiede

SPECIAL 10 DAY HOLIDAY FAMILY PLAN
OFF Person. double Au. One. 15 is lin. 3

INCLUDING MEALS

SPECIAL RATES FOE CHILI:MU IN SMII LOOM

,See

Your

For the Children

Dec.15 to Jan.5

3 MEALS

I•1101 MOM) <0•1.7 saumetit

$200

■ YNAGOGOL

Owner Stmt.

Summertime

the ADLER Hotel
Sharon Springs. N.Y.

Travel Agent or Phone MIAMI BEACH: 305466.5711e:

Glio/trw
3he ood
Teachallotel

„arr,

-•\"••• ■

GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB • HOLLYWOOD, FLORIDA

(Beach Club)

$282.0 .„

RATES INCLUDE 3 GOURMET MEALS DAILY

'daily per person, double occupancy
Dec. 18 • April 14 - 131 of 700 Rooms
From ;17.00 thru Dee.


Ben Tobin, Pres.
Arnold M. Seamon, V.P., Gen. Mgr.
Ben Kahn, Dlr. of Agency Sales

Barbera Brooke, Res. Mgr.

GALA GOLFER'SHOLIDAY

6•Days-5-Nights includes unlimited free greens
balls,
starting
to 21 for =o ounds, 3 free golf
fees, golf
cart (fr
imes,
rage plus
and omplete.
cleaning,
golf- tourneys
and club
clinics

meats dailY, luorlous twin-bedded room and
all the wonderful facilities of H
Beach Hotel.
the ollywood

#1()7* Mg;

tfoubleocc. b

malt *9-7 of 700 rooms

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