Now It Can Be Told: Israeli Facts and Humor

By CARL ALPERT
HAIFA- So much happened dur-
ing those tense, tight days of June
and in the weeks preceding, when
the crisis was building up, that
scores of fascinating stories were
never adequately reported over-
seas. This week I tell three of
those stories, vastly different in
tone and significance. Each in its
own way illustrated a different
aspect of this exciting chapter in
contemporary history. Now it can
be told.
• • •
Nothing, absolutely nothing, was
left unplanned. There was expec-
tation that large-scale enemy air
attacks on big cities like Tel Aviv
might cause -many civilian casual-
ties. Arrangements had to be made
in advance for temporary housing
for possible thousands of bombed-
out citizens. Details were worked

out for care and evacuation of the
wounded.
But preparation went even be-
yond that. Proper burial of the
dead was not overlooked. Funerals
and long trips to - existing ceme-
teries would be out of the ques-
tion under air-raid conditions. And
so, when the crisis reached its
acute period, a group of rabbinical
authorities quietly visited a num-
ber of public gardens, parks and
football fields in the heart of Tel
Aviv. Their movement was unan-
nounced, almost furtive. They had
no wish to create panic. But with
ceremony and prayer they conse-
crated the ground in these public
places in conformity with religious
requirements, so that in case of
need the land could be used as
emergency cemeteries.
Fortunately the need never
arose—but such was the extent of

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Many stories emanate from Is-
rael about the Six-Day war.
Comics as well as historical an-
alyses are being published.
"A Funny Thing Happened to
Me on the Way to Tel Aviv,"
(quoting Nasser) published by Na-
tional Periodical Publications,
(575 Lexington, NY 22), is a hil-
arious collection of photographs
with entertaining captions.
There is a photo of an Egyp-
tian tank that failed to fire, and
the comment: "Lucky they didn't
fire it: the shlemihls had it aimed
at Cairo."
There is one showing an Israeli
guarding prisoners and there is
this exchange: "There are over
3,000 of us, and just one Israeli
guard. Why not rush him?" "I
don't like the odds."
Or the one with Dayan, titled,
as a jeep went far into the dessert:
"You better back up, captain, I
think we passed them."
DeGaulle is speaking: "France
intends to be strictly neutral in
this matter. From now on, Israel
gets no more French jets — and
Nasser gets no more post-cards!"
All of the 68 pages of pictures
and funny lines are filled with de-
lightful humor. Nasser is the cen-
tral figure: the funny things hap-
pened to him and they echo the
results of a short war.

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Israel's preparedness—a prepared-
ness which in other areas paid off
well.
• • •
Grand Circus Park
As we know, Lebanon did not ADAMS
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enter the war, but some extremist WO 14525
SIMONE SIGNORET in color
elements in that country were an-
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their identification with the other
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Arabs. As an outlet for their feel-
9 Mi. 7dr Greenfield 31:2d
ings they planned raids and riots AMERICANA 44446
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in the Jewish quarter of their cap-
A RETURN TO ELEGANCE
ital city, Beirut, where many hun-
FOR ALL MOVIEGOERS
James Coburn and Carroll O'Connor
dreds of Jewish families still live.
"WATERHOLE #3"
Word of the plan reached Israeli
MON.,
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intelligence officers. Through the shown TUES.,
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medium of a neutral embassy the SUN. open 1:00 shown 1:55, 8:30, 10:35.
Israel government saw to it that
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F
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thorities: if a hair were harmed on
the head of a single Lebanese Jew,
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an Israel tank corps would make FRI.:
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its appearance in the heart of Bei- 1:25, 3:40, S:55, 8:10, 10:25. MON.- thru
rut, which is not far from the Is- THUR. Open 6:15, shown 7:15, 9:35.
SHORT SUBJECTS at 6:45 and 9:10
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The Lebanese full well knew CAMEO! W. Warren at Miller Road
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that the Israelis were capable of
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taking such action. They were pru-
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All remained quiet.
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• • •
And on a lighter note:
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The United Nations forces were
2 New Horror Hits
due to withdraw from their border
This is horror
positions on the Gaza Strip on
"THE SHE BEAST"
May 10. That morning a small,
In color
This is terror
black puppy dog picked its way
"THE EMBALMER"
through no-man's land from Gaza
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and entered the fields of Kibutz
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Attached to its collar was a folded
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"My name is Nicky. I was
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Since the UN troops are leaving, I
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At 4 p.m. that day the UN de-
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Many Funny Things
Happened to Nasser
on the Way to Tel Aviv

SIMONE
SIMONET

Friday, October 13, 1967-33

THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS

TEL AVIV (JTA) — A special
Israeli trade mission, completing
a month-long tour of East African
countries, reported opening of new
markets there for Israeli-products
and orders totaling several hun-
dred thousand dollars for items
such as agricultural machinery
and irrigation equipment.

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