31—Friday, Jew 16, •967
THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS
A necdotes About
"Fools" of Helem
This tale is one of many that
might be cited as evidence of the
business acumen for which the
Helemites were famous.
The story is about two of them
who agreed to go into partnership
and, between them, managed to
find enough capital to buy a little
keg of whiskey as their stock in
trade.
- Beret," said Sholem to his part-
ner. '•I have seen many a business
like ours ruined by credits. Let us
sell for cash only "
- For cash only.•• Beret agreed.
They opened their business to
the public and waited for custo-
mers. But no customers came and
after a while Beret felt just a
little bit discouraged.
"Sholem," said he to his part-
ner, "I have five kopeks in my
pocket. Pour me a little glass of
whiskey. Its for cash, of course."
Sholem poured and Beret paid
and drank. lie MI and looked
much better.
"Beret," said Sholem to his part-
ner. "I see in your eyes that we
have the right stuff. Now that I
have five kopeks. I think I'll have
a little also. Its for cash, of
course."
Beret poured. Sholem paid and
drank, and he too felt and looked
much better.
"Sholem," said Beret to his part-
ner after a rather long pause.
"We'll not he so foolish as to sell
on credit. Pour me another little
glass—for cash, of course."
Berel drank and passed the five
kopeks to Sholem. Then Sholem
drank again and passed the five
kopeks to Beret.
Still there were no customers,
but were the partners discour-
aged" On the contrary! They were
in a state of satisfaction bordering
on Joy'
"Another little glass for me!"
said one and paid spot cash.
"Another little glass for me!"
said the other and paid spot cash.
The day passed and the contents
of the little keg as well. It was
time to close up for the day.
"Look. Sholem!" said Beret to
his partner, hugging the keg on
one side. "In one day we—we sold
out our stock—all of it!"
"Yes!" said Sholem, hugging
the keg on the other side, "and
for—for cash only!"
•
•
•
Now with regard to the school
teacher of Helen' it goes without
saying that he was in every re-
spect a true Ilelemite. How could
it be otherwise? Isn't every gen-
uine school teacher, no matter
where tie may live and labor, a
Helemite?
The one of Helem was particu-
larly shrewd in matters economic
and financial.
"You know," said he to his wife
one day, "if I were the Czar, I
would be richer than the Czar."
"How so?" she asked.
"I would do a little teaching on
the side." he explained.
•
•
•
With regard to money, the
school teacher of Helem had his
feet completely on the ground.
"It's a topsy-turvy world," he
once declared to his wife. "The
rich who have plenty of money
buy on credit. The poor, who
haven't a copper, have to pay
cash. Isn't it common sense it
should be the other way: the rich
to pay cash and the poor to "get
credit? What's that you say? A
merchant who gives credit to the
poor will become a poor man him-
self? Very well! What if he does?
He'll he able to buy on credit,
won't he?"
•
• •
Foremost among the philosophers
of Helem was a certain Lemach
ben Lekish. No question was too
deep for him. Take the following
as mere illustrations:
"Why," he was asked, "does a
dog wag his tail?"
Monument Unveilings
Unveiling announcements may be ili•
erted by mail or by calling The Jewish
Sews office, 17100 W. 7 hIlle Rd., De
troll 48535. VE 8-9364. Written an.
nouneernents must be accompanies. by
he name and address of the person
making the insertion. There is a stand.
ng charge of $3.50 for an unveiling
notice, measuring an inch in depth
and 57.00 for one two Inches deep with
a black border.
•
• *
The family of the late Molly
Sugar announces the unveiling
of a monument in her memory
9:30 a.m. Sunday, June 25, at
Machpelah Cemetery. Rabbi Mil-
ton Arm and Cantor Berman's will
officiate. Relatives and friends are
asked to attend.
•
•
•
The family of the late Isadore
Gamburd announces the unveil-
ing of a monument in his memory
10:30 a.m. Sunday, June 18, at
Nusach Hari Cemetery. Milton
Urim and Cantor Bermanis will
officiate. Relatives and friends are
asked to attend.
• •
•
The family of the late Gene
Greenfield announces the unveiling
of a monument in his memory
12:30 p.m. Sunday, June 25 at
Chesed shel Emes Cemetery.
Rabbi Schnipper will officiate.
Relatives and friends are asked to
attend
•
♦
*
The family of the late Bernard
Rubin announces the unveiling of
a monument in his memory 10:30
a.m. Sunday, June 25 at Machpelah
Cemetery. Rabbi Groner will offi-
ciate. Relatives and friends are
asked to attend.
* • e
The family of the late Gertrude
Marks announces the unveiling of
a monument in her memory 12:30
p.m. Sunday, June 25 at Machpelah
Cemetery. Rabbi J. Segal will offi-
ciate. Relatives and friends are
asked to attend.
• • •
The family of the late Rose
Shaiken announces the unveiling
of a monument in her memory
11:30 a.m. Sunday, June 25 at
Chesed shel Emes Cemetery. Rabbi
Arm will officiate. Relatives and
friends are asked to attend.
"Because," Lemach answered
without hesitation. "the dog is
stronger than the tail. Were it the
other way. the tail would wag the
dog."
Again he was asked why the hair
on a man's head turns gray sooner
than his beard.
"It's because." Lemach replied.
"the hair on his head is twenty
years older than his beard."
"And why," he was further
asked. "are the waters of the seas
salty?"
"Don't you know?" he said. "It's
because so many thousands of
herring live in them."
The family of the late Hyman
Wasser, announces the unveiling
of a monument in his memory
12:30 p.m. Sunday, June 18, at
Chesed shel Emes Cemetery. Rabbi
Gorrelick will officiate. Relatives
and friends are asked to attend.
* e
The family of the late Joseph
Rubin announces the unveiling of
a monument in his memory noon
Sunday, June 25 at Machpelah
The Family of the Late
ETHEL KOVAN
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory 1:30 p.m. Sunday,
June 18, at Clover Hill
Park Cemetery. Rabbi
Groner will officiate. Re-
latives and friends are
asked to attend.
Cemetery. Rabbi Syme will offici-
ate. Relatives and friends are
asked to attend.
• •
a
The family of the late Shirley
Okun, announces the unveiling of
a monument in her memory 12:30
p.m. Sunday. June 18 at Northwest
Hebrew Memorial Park. Rabbi
Groner will officiate. Relatives and
friends are asked to attend. -
The family of the late Lottie
Feldman, announces the unveiling
of a monument in her memory 10
a.m. Sunday, June 25 at Oakview
Cemetery. Rabbi Lehrman and
Cantor Klein will officate. Rela-
tiVes and friends are asked to
attend.
The Family of the Late
ABRAHAM
DUBNOVE
The Family of the Late
Announces the unveiling
MARTIN COHEN
of a monument in his
memory 1 p.m. Sunday,
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in his
memory 12:30 p.m. Sun-
day, June 18 at Machpelah
Cemetery. Cantor Frankel
will officiate. Relatives
and friends are asked to
attend,
June 18 at Chesed shel
Ernes Cemetery. Rabbi
Prero will officiate. Rela-
tives and friends are
asked to attend.
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
ROSE NEWMAN
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory noon Sunday,
June 18 at Northwest He-
brew Memorial Park.
Rabbi I. Halperin will of-
ficiate. Relatives and
friends are asked to at-
tend.
HYMAN D.
DORMAN
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in his
memory 11 a.m., Sunday.
June 18, at Beth Abra-
ham Cemetery. Rabbi
Spiro will officiate. Rela-
tives and friends are asked
to attend.
BERTHA
SCHWARTZ
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory 10 a.m. Sunday,
June 25 at Clover Hill
Park Cemetery. Rabbi
Rosenbaum will officiate.
Relatives and friends are
asked to attend.
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
CHARLES DEITCH
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in his
memory 10 a.m. Sunday,
June 25, at Nusach Hari
Cemetery. Rabbi M. Hal-
pern will officiate. Rela-
tives and friends are asked
to attend.
IRENE
F LI EGELMAN
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory 2 p.m. Sunday,
June 18 at Chesed shel
Rabbi
Emes • Cemetery.
Goldman will officiate. Re-
latives and friends are
asked to attend.
MARY (KENT)
KUZNETSKY
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory 1:30 p.m. Sunday,
June 18. at Workmen's
Circle Cemetery. Rabbi I.
Halpern will officiate. Re-
latives and friends are
asked to attend.
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
IDA BRENNER
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory 10:30 a.m. Sun-
day June 18 at Machpelah
Cemetery. Rabbi Sperka
will officiate. Relatives
and friends are asked to
attend.
VICTOR A.
MALLIS
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in his
memory 2 p.m. Sunday,
June 18 at Workmen's
Circle Cemetery. Rela-
tives and friends are
asked to attend.
HANNAH
YERMAN
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory noon Sunday.
June 18 at the Northwest
Hebrew Memorial Park.
Rabbi Cahan and Cantor
Fenakel will officiate. Re-
latives and friends are
asked to attend,
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
SALLY EHRLICH
DIAMOND
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory 1:15 p.m. Sunday,
June 25 at Clover Hill
Park. Rabbi Schnipper
will officiate. Relatives and
friends are asked to at-
tend.
CHARLES
OLSMAN
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in his
memory 1:30 p.m. Sunday,
June 25 at Chesed shel
Emes Cemetery. Rabbi
Goldschlag will officiate.
Relatives and friends are
asked to attend.
HYMAN WASSER
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in his
memory 12:30 p.m. Sun-
day, June 18, at Chesed
shel Emes Cemetery.
Rabbi Gorrelick will offi-
ciate. Relatives and
friends are asked to at-
tend.
Mr. Nathan R. Berke, Mr.
Ruby Berke, Mrs. Boris
The Family of the Late
The Family of the Late
VICTORIA
BOKSENBOM
PEACEMAKER — McGeorge
Bundy is President John-
son's executive secretary of
a new top - level committee to
"help - build a new peace" in
the Middle East. He is
shown talking to reporters
outside Use White House
after the announcement.
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory 1 p.m. Sunday,
June 25 at Chesed shel
Emes Cemetery, 14 Mile
and Gratiot. Relatives and
friends are asked to at-
tend.
GERTRUDE
WEISENBERG
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in her
memory 2 p.m. Sunday,
June 18 at Hebrew Memo-
rial Park. Rabbi Levin
will officiate. Relatives
and friends are asked to
attend.
(Dorothy) Bronson, Fam-
ilies of the Late
JOSEPH BERKE
Announces the unveiling
of a monument in his
memory 1 p.m. Sunday,
June 25 at Beth Moses
Cemetery. Rabbi Cahan
will officiate. Relatives
and friends are asked to
attend.