Yiddish Anecdotes About Schnorrers Lufthansa goes to the ends of the earth... for you. Where would you like to go? Wherever it is, Lufthansa will jet you there. We fly to over 60 cities, in more than 40 countries, across 6 conti- nents. And along with this world-wide service, Lufthansa gives you a wide world of superior services. For example, if you prefer Kosher food, let us know in advance and it'll be yours. How far can an airline go for you? Fly Lufthansa and see. For reservations, call your Travel Agent. Or stop by at the nearest Lufthansa office. Lufthansa 1242 Washington Blvd. Detroit 26, Michigan. WOodward 3-6250 • BARTONT NEW es t sw `G ee pre-holiday specials SAVE 500—DELICIOUS MINIATURE CHOCOLATES: 106 pieces of Barton's Con- tinental Chocolates. Fruits, nuts, crunches, cordials, cremes, in holiday gift box, 1 lb. 5 oz, reg, $2.98, NOW $2.48. Double size-2 lbs. 10 oz.—reg, $5.96, NOW ONLY $4.96. SAVE 500—FRUIT CAKE: Juicy cherries, pineapple, dates, pecans and almonds in a luscious rum-favored cake. Two pounds in a gay gift tin, reg. $2.98, NOW $2.48. SAVE 400—TANGY FRUIT-FILLED HARD CANDY: Real fruits in paper-thin hard candy shells. Apricot, pine. apple, raspberry, orange, lemon, lime. 2 delicious pounds, reg. $2.19, NOW $1,79. Till December ist only! (What's more, we'll take orders at these prices through December 1st and make delivery any time you name before Christmas.) ALSO IMPORTED CRYSTAL & OTHER FINE GIFTS 18309 WYOMING 24790 COOLIDGE 1 Block N. of Curtis at 10 Mile Road Next Door to Dexter Davison Market OPEN EVENINGS and SUNDAYS A rich Jew had his pet schnorrer to whom he gave a regular annual stipend. One year he sent only half the usual sum, and the beggar made loud complaint. "But I have unusual expenses this year," the rich man explained. "My son has become friendly with a ballet-dancer. and it is costing me a fortune." "What has that to do with me?" cried the beggar, incensed. If he wants a fancy lady, that's his af- fair. But let him do it with his own money, not mine!" * * It was the regular custom for each pious householder to take a wandering beggar home with him from the synagogue on Friday eve_ ning, and give him shelter over the Sabbath. One such householder, returning from the prayer service with his poor guest in tow, noticed that a second schnorrer was trail- ing them. "Who is that?" he asked. "It's my son-in-law," answered the guest. "I am supporting him." * * * Returning home from a train journey, a schnorrer reported that the conductor had kept staring at him very peculiarly. "What do you mean, 'pecu- liarly'?" he was asked. "I mean," he explained, "as if I were traveling without a ticket." "What did you do about it?" "What should I do?" he replied. "I stared back at him as if I really did have a ticket!" • * * The traditions of Chelem relate that before the work of building began, the founders met in solemn assembly and deliberated a long time on the best site for their city. They decided finally to build it at the foot of a mountain. The great day arrived and the builders began by climbing to the summit, where they cut down trees for their houses. But how were the logs to be brought down, seeing the Chelemites had no vehicles or horses? Their amazing ingenuity came immediately to their aid. They lifted the logs to their shoul- ders and carried them down into the valley. Now it happened that a stranger passed by and saw the Chelemites toiling and panting. "Foolish people," said the stran- ger, "why do you needlessly puff and sweat?" And having spoken, he pushed one of the logs with his foot and it rolled down the moun- tain as if it knew exactly where to go. The builders of Chelem stood and marveled. "The man is a genius," they whispered to each other. But Chelemites are quick to learn. Without losing a moment, they went down into the valley, carried the logs back to the sum- mit, and sent them rolling in the precise manner of the stranger. * * * Building the public bath-house presented a grave problem to the Jews of Chelem. It involved the benches on which the bathers stretched out and reveled in the steam and heat. The question was whether the planks for those benches should be smooth or rough. Immediately two parties came into existence: smoothists a n d roughists. The smoothists main- tained that rough planks would scratch the bodies of the bathers, not to speak of the splinters they would carry home. The roughists argued that smooth planks would make the bathers slip and fall and that some of them might be hurt, cholileh! The wise men of Chelem called a meeting that lasted far into the night. But each party held its ground and the assembly w a s deadlocked. At last the Rabbi pro- posed a compromise which was universally acclaimed and proved over again that Torah and wisdom go together. "My decision is," said he, "that the boards should be planed on one side only. For fear, however, that this planed side should cause people to slip, I order that the boards be laid with that side downward!" THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS Friday, November 25, 1966-11 ; Anecdotes About `Fools' of Chelein That good man laid no claim to a knowledge of the latest peda- gogic methods, nevertheless he had his own way of impressing his teaching on his pupils. Con- sider, for example, the following discourse he once held to acquaint his pupils with the difference that exist among the social classes. "An ordinary man." he said, "puts on a clean shirt on Friday for the Sabbath. A rich man changes his shirt every day. Rothschild changes his shirt three times a day, in the morning, at noon, and in the evening. The Czar is attended by two generals, one of whom takes off the shirt he wears and the other puts on a clean one, off and on, off and on, without interruption, night and day. "An ordinary man takes a nap and who takes care he should not be awakened? His wife. A rich man is protected by a vestibule before his sleeping room. Roths- child has twelve men stationed before his bedroom to guard his sleep. The Czar has an army of soldiers before his door who cry continually and all together: `Quiet: His Majesty is sleeping!' "An ordinary man gets up early in the morning and eats his break- fast. A rich man sleeps till ten o'clock, then he gets up and—has his breakfast. Rothschild sleeps until Afternoon Prayers, and eats his breakfast toward evening. The Czar sleeps all day and all night, and has his breakfast the follow- ing day." The Spaniards brought the grape- fruit to the West Indies and Florida. The first highways known were the trade routes between East and West approximately 2000 BCE. 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