, ,

In Lighter Vein: Variety of Humor

4

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By SHIN FEY SAMAKH

An American Jewish Press Feature

Toastmaster Magazine recent-
ly dedicated this poem to credit-
claiming writers:
"I shot a joke into the air;
P it was reprinted everywhere. In
Podunk News last week I read
it, but Percy Polecat got the
credit. Oh, let them steal it if
they please—I swiped it from old
Sophocles. And Sophocles, be-
yond a doubt, had turned it
around and sent it out."
• • •
The story is told about a Ye-
menite woman who arrived in
Israel on the "Magic Carpet"
that she was asked how she liked
her new country:
"I can't stand the buses," was
her answer, "I prefer to travel
by airplane."
• . •
Bennett Cerf. the famous
story-teller, is responsible for
this interesting yarn:
When Anatole Litvak was seek-
ing background material for
"The Snake Pit," he visited men-
tal institutions all over the east
At one of them he asked an
inmate for the time. The obliging
inmate produced a slide rule, a
compass, and a T-square. made
a series of calculations, and re-
ported, "It's seventeen and a
third minutes after two."
Fascinated by the entire per-
formance. Litvak exclaimed, "It's
wonderful. But what do you do
when you have no access, to all
those instruments?" "On such
occasions," answered the inmate
sadly, "I am compelled to con-
sult my watch."
• • .
A good answer to the late an-
ti-Semite Ernie Bevin's charge
that "Jews desire to get ahead
of the queue" was offered re-
cently by Jimmy Edward in this
single line in the Ulster Post:
"Even for peas there are queues."

• • •

•

Would you like to get acquain-
ted with Egypt's King Farouk?
The London News Chronicle
some time ago reported as fol-
- lows:
"Asked recently by a dis-
tinguished visitor how many
kings there will be in the world
25 years hence. King Farouk un-
hesitatingly replied: "Five—the
King of England and the Kings
of Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs and
Spades."
• • •
It is told about Jascha Ireifetz
that while visiting a wealthy
friend he heard the hostess say
that she had forgotten the com-
bination to her safe.
"I'll try to open it for you,"
said the noted violinist to the
unbelieving :ady. He went to the
safe, put his super-sensitive vio-
linist's ears to the dial and turn-
ed it very slowly until he heard
the tumblers fall in place. The
safe opened and Jascha Heifetz
added amateur safe cracking to
his many accomplishments.
• • •
"The Jew is that sacred being
who has brought down from
Heaven the everlasting fire, and
has illumined with it the entire
world. He is' the religious spring
and fountain out of which all
the rest of the peoples have
drawn their beliefs and their re-
ligions."
- -Tolstoy

•

011W

SIAM TO ZION
Go from SIAM to ZION in 7
laps. Beg i nn i ng with SIA
IA M ,
change one letter at a time and
form a new word each time ac-
cording to the given definitions,
until you reach Zion.
SIAM
A line of stitches

A piece of timber
A vegetable
Thin
Man's name
— — — —
King of beasts — — — —

ZION
Solution: Siam, Seam, Beam,
Bean, Lean, Leon, Lion, Zion.

• • •

Not His Wife

A.—Last night I saw your wife
in a dream.
B.—What did she say?
A.--She kept silent.
B.—Then it was not my wife.

• • •

Thoughts for the Week
And Miscellaneous Fillers
We learn that Paulette God-
dard is sending her hairdresser
Victor Vito, to Israel, to teach
the art of coiffeure to the Is-
raelis.
• • •
As an earring of gold, and an
ornament of fine gold. so is a
wise reprover upon an obedi-
ent ear.—Prov. 25-12.
• • •
"Thou hast put gladness in
my heart ... I will both lay me
down in peace and sleep: for
thou. Lord, only makest me dwell
in safety."—Ps. 4:7. 8.
• • •
Some men are like the stump
the old farmer had in the field—
too hard to uproot, too knotty to
split, and too wet and soggy to
burn. The neighbors asked him
what he did about it. "Well, now
boys. - he answered. "if you won t
tell the secret. tell you. I
jes' plowed around it."
—David Grayson

Victor Rosewater—Stormy

Petrel in Ranks of GOP

This is the layout of the old City of Jerusalem. Plans for the npbuilding of the new city as
Israel's capital were announced at the United Nations in New York a few days ago.

1_4-(i-es Germany Reach

Bond Drive Nets Profit

Settlement with Israel

WASHINGTON, (JTA) — High
Commissioner John J. McCloy
has made representations at
Bonn on behalf of a mutually
satisfactory settlement of Israel-
German negotiations.
State Department sources pre-
viously made known that the
American government regards
Germany under a moral obliga-
tion to see the negotiations
through to a successful conclu-
sion and that the U.S. is anxious
for this to occur.
The British government. ac-
cording to Washington officials.
has adopted a position similar to
that of the State Department.

,

BRUSSF.I-S, (JTA)—An unus-
ual action for the recovery of
proptrty was brought in the Bel-
gian courts by Baron Maurice de
Roths•hild against Max Tells-
cher, a German sportsman,
whose f .n try , Erienkind. won a
race here and a parse of 800
pounds.
Baron de Rothschild obtained
a writ against the German and
Seeks delivery of the horse, val-
ued at 5.000 pounds, on the
grounds that it is the daughter
of a horse stolen from him when
the Nazis overran France and
seized his entire stable. The
American occupation authorities
er job e repairing fi sh- re
orses to
ing nets for the ever increasing Baron de Rothschild in 1946.
number of fishermen in the new

it;

Uncover Papyrug Proclaiming
Victor Rosewater of Nebraska
later
of Pennsylvania, was ' Jewish Revolt. Against Rome
state. T h e 8500.000.000 Israel
chairman of the Republican Na-
bond drive helps finance the ex-
tional Committee at the time of LONDON. (JTA )--Pnpyrus
pansion of the fishing industry.
the 1912 convention when Rob- fragments. found in a cove near ;
Bet-Mel -1c m. are part of a proc-
ert Taft s father William
and Taft, was nominated.
lamation of the Second Jewish
..4 It of Spinoziana •
That convention was described Revolt against the Romans.
By N. E. ARONSTAM
as the stormiest GOP convention about 132 C. E.. the Sunday
Times
reported
from
Amman.
in history. There were even ro-
ports that Rosewater would be The proclamation was siened by
shot by some fanatics of the op- Bar Kochbah, known as Simeon
position. Victor Rosewater's Ben Kosibah.
According to the Amman re-
father was the founder of the
Light
Omaha Bee. As a young man, port the title of the pr•eiarna-
he was one of the telegraphers tion has been deciphered to
in the army during the Civil read "Deliverance of Israel by -
War. According to some ac- the Ministry of Simeon Ben Ko-
counts. he was the telegrapher sibah. Prince of Israel."
who first sent Lincoln's Eman-
Other identified fragments
cipation Proclamation over the are from operational orders to
telegraph wires.
army commander Yeshua Ben
Galgoleh. Coins of the same pe-
riod have also been found. The
Israel Merchant Marine Has
discoveries were made in a ra-
24 Ships; 116,000 in Tonnage
vine known as El Murabaat,
TEL AVIV. (JTA)—The Israel just north of AM Jiddie.
merchant marine fleet is com-
posed of 24 vessels. totaling 116.- Jewish Population in Germany
000*in tonnage. Israel Minister Greatly Reduced Since 1950
of Communications David Pin-
PARIS. (JTA1—According to
kas said in an address before an unpublished 1950 census of
the Haifa Maritime Club. He West Germany and Berlin. there
reported that 17 percent of all were 21.974 residents professing
imported and exported goods is the Jewish faith at that time.
carried in Israel ships.
The Jewish total represented
one-half of one percent of the
total West German population
at that time.

-

Sck'es Medical Mystery

•

Memo to Job Seekers!

The better applicants come through these columns
. . . The best opportunities for placements are available

through The Jewish News ... That's why Detroiters are
saying:

Al saw your ad in The Jewish News".

Gives $500,000 to Toronto U.
TORONTO, (JTA) — Dr. Sig-
mund Samuel, 84-year-old fi-
nancier and philanthropist, has
given the University of Toronto
$500,000 towards the cost of a
new library. The gift will enable

And the Best Contacts for
Resort Seekers and Sellers

Threnak This-
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ROI - SF t o ask err aact. i rc44,/,•
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For results through Classified Advertising, Call .

.

Elf-,N FRANCISCO, !JTA ) --A
Zion Hospital dt rmatoiogIst
t is c Califoreia
diezil
Ass•;:itition meetine in Los An-
in if', the possible st.h.ition to a
m . . .stifyirg. skin inic.,:tion.
Dr. Ervin Epstein. of Oakland,
told the conference that the
(_:Ita.`, E- was di.e to a filter-
able virus. which seemed to he
Ly cats and was: related
to parrot fever. VR ims of the
d1>€
he said. arparently in-
curred it as a resin: ( f scratches
by eats. - Cat-scratyn fever." he
reported. could be controlled by
use of antibiotics.

w

U.S.

• •

THE JEWISH NEWS

708 DAVID STOTT BLDG.

-

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

WO. 5-1155

9,770 Jews Left in Vienna
VIENNA, (JTA)—The Jewish
Community made public the re-
sults of a census showing that
only 9,770 Jews are now living
in Vienna. There were more
than 180,000 Jews in the city
before World War II. More than
58,500 Viennese Jews perished in
Hitler's concentration c a m ps .
The Jewish community is sup-
porting 800 members who are
iT without any income.

am for

And, like in the fairy tale, they
lived happily ever after. You
can help make your own way to
happiness. Try a Jewish News
want a0. Call WO. 5--A155.

