Mr. & Mrs. Lee I. Wenokur & Family
3310 Rochester
Mr. & Mrs. David Wallace
19353 Ohio
Mr. & MrS. Milton Weiss & Family
2983 Sturtevant
Mr. & Mrs. Morris Wolf & Sons
9755 McQuade
Mr. & Mrs. Irving Weiner & Family
3378 Richton
Mr. & Mrs. George Mine & Sons
17126 Griggs
Mr. & Mrs. Lloyd Weingarden & Leon
and Elaine
17206 San. Juan
& Mrs. S. H. Weisman & Family
4285 Leslie
& Mrs. Irving Wohlman & Family
18960 Snowden
Mr. & Mrs. Stanley White & Family
19300 Santa Barbara Dr.
Wolf Wrotslaysky
2975 Joy Rd.
Mr. & Mrs. Louis Willker & Family
15822 Princeton
Mr. & Mrs. Edward Wishnetsky
& Family
2512 Barnes Ave.
Bronx 67, N. Y.
5711
Our best wishes for joy, prosperity and security in the New
Year, 571 1, are extended to all our relatives and friends
and to the entire Jewish community.
Mr. & Mrs. 'Arthur Weintrob & Son
18252 Strathmoor
Mr. Jack Weinbaum & Family
8851 LaSalle Blvd.
Mrs. F. Yoskowitz & Family
3729 Burlingame.
Mr. & Mrs. Harry Yanich & Family
2319 Leslie
Mr. & Mrs. Harry Yudkoff & Son
8221 Marygrove
Mr. & Mrs. Aron Yagoda & Daughters
,2635 Glendale
z
Dr. Jacob Schatsky is cele-
brated as a Jewish historian,
but in any prize contest for-
Jewish humorists, he might run
off with the laurels too. He drips
with stories. Here are a few
dropped in a fifteen-minute
conversation.
A rabbi on assuming his post
with a new congregation was
admonished by the president of
the synagogue to avoid three
topics in his sermons.
"First, do not preach on the
failure to observe the Sabbath.
Remember, rabbi, much as we
might like to, we business men
are not in a position to close
our shops on Saturdays.
"Second, rabbi, never deliver
any sermons on Jewish educa-
tion. You know, the conditions
are not favorable any more for
sending our children to Talmud
Torah.
"Third, rabbi, please do not
sermonize us on our failure to
keep up all the Jewish precepts."
"On what subjects," asked the
new rabbi, "may I talk in my
sermons?" queried the rabbi.
"Just talk 'about Judaism," re-
plied the president.
*
*
Semantics
There is a great deal of talk
about the new science of se-
mantics. "Just what is seman-
tics," asked a student of the
professor.
"Well," expained the profes-
sor,. "take the word 'marriage.'
What is marriage?"
"Marriage," said the student,
"Ls a noun."
"Yes," said the professor, "in
grammar, marriage is a noun,
but in life, it is a sentence. Now
do you understand what seman-
tics is?"
JTA
great Maimonides must be
something of a sham and he was
determined to expose him., So
one day, he betook himself to
the clinic and got into the line
of the patients. He wanted to
see what Maimonides would pre-
scribe for him.
Well, the time came. Ibn Ezra
stood in front of him. Maimo-
nides handed him his "prescrip-
tion" and passed on to the next
patient. As soon as Ibn Ezra
had passed, he took a look at
his prescription. Lo it was an
order to a bank to give Ibn Ezra
a sum of money. Maimonides
had recognized -that Ibn Ezra
was sick mainly in the pocket-
book.
gambling and drinking, sighed
the father.
"I should think," replied the
rabbi, "that you would be happy
about your son not knowing
anything about gambling and
drinking."
"Ah, but the trouble is,"
sighed Mr. Goldberg, "that al-
though he doesn't know any-
thing about gambling, he is
always gambling and though he
knows nothing about drinking,
he drinks."
Mr. & Mrs. Samuel Zingeser & Family
17550 Santa Rosa
Mr. & Mrs. David I. Zide & Family
2214 Hazelwood
Mrs. Morris Zack
2294 Atkinson
* * *
Austerity
Use Your Ballot Wisely
NOMINATE
One of Detroit's Outstanding Civic Leaders
RODNEY BAXTER
JUDGE OF RECORDERS COURT
Best Wishes for a
Happy New Year
to the Entire Staff
of The Jewish News
• Chief Counsel Street Car Commission for
A Loyal Reader
Austerity stories are still the
vogue in Israel. As is commonly
known, Dr. Bernard Joseph is
in charge of the austerity pro-
gram and it was inevitable that
there should be some story con-
necting him with the Joseph of
old who ruled over Egypt and
whose- story is related in the
Bible.
The current austerity quip has
it that the Israelis propose to
negotiate anew respecting the
flesh pots mentioned in the
Bible. The Israelis propose that
Egypt take back Joseph and
give them back the flesh pots.
* * *
•
Mizrachi Women's Organiza-
tion of America will open its 40 THE JEWISH NEWS
49th project in the Holy Land—
Friday, September 8, 1950
the Bar-Ilan Memorial School
and Vocational Center.
By 1. Zac
Just Talk on Judaism:
Mr. & Mrs. Jos. Zukerman & Family
2745 Cortland
Daughter, Susan Margo
18041 Littlefield
Mr. & Mrs. Edward Zellman & Son
12835 Petoskey
Mrs. Samuel Zaff & Son, Harold
2975 Fullerton
Dr. & Mrs. M. B. Zeff & Family
Wyandotte, Mich.
jest for Fun
Copy Wright 1950,
Mr. & Mrs. Aaron Zameck & Family;
17132 Monica
Mr. & Mrs. Jack Zuckerman &
Y
Mr. & Mrs. Maurice Zeiger & Family
20464 Ardmore
Mr. & Mrs. Henry Zaft & Daughters.
Arlene, Madelon, Wilma
14915 Petoskey
Mr. & Mrs. Ben Zelonka & Family
2272 Clements
Mr. & Mrs. Abe Zeff & Son, Bernard
3557 Montclair
Mr. & Mrs. Osias Zwerdling & Family
1056 Baldwin, Ann Arbor
Mr. & Mrs. A. L. Zwerdling & Family
17595 Indiana
Mr. & Mrs. Morris Zwerdling & Family
2265 Montgomery
Mr. & Mrs. Joe Zwerdling & Family
4601 S. 30th Rd., Arlington,
Virginia
26 Years
• Former Prosecuting Attorney
Best Wishes for a
HAPPY NEW YEAR
RODNEY BAXTER
To All Our Relatives and
Friends in Detroit and Windsor
MR. - AND MRS. J. A. GLANZ
AND FAMILY,
1327 Victoria, Windsor
"Remember us unto life, 0 King, whO
Talmud Tale
In the Talmud there is writ
A story with a moral to it
Of a man who felt he would be
more sated,
If he by two wives were mated.
delightest in life, and inscribe us in the
Book of Life, for Thine own sake,
0 living God."
One wife was old and was one
young
And that's how the man got
stung.
* * *
For the old one pulled out his
Short Biography:
black hair
A Jew was asked to give a To moke him more with her the
pair.
biography of Karl Marx in one
sentence. "That's easy," was the
reply. "Karl Marx was born in But the young one pulled out
the hairs gray
Germany, lived in England, died
in France and was 'buried' in For she wanted him younger by
Russia. •
many a day.
• * * *
So the harrassed husband was
Prescription:
bereft complete
Ibn Ezra, as every one knows, His dome as hairless as the
sidewalk street.
Was a great scholar and Biblical.
* * *
commentator. He was also al-
Well
Known
Name
ways in the red, as scalars are
"I am sorry, Mr. Cohen," said
wont to be. But in the case of
Ibxi Ezra, you might say he was the publisher, "but you see our
in the double red or triple red. firm only publishes books by
It was Ibn Ezra, you remember, well known names.
who - said that ill luck so pursued
"Well," retorted the author,
that if. he were to take "Cohen is a well known name."
to selling shrouds, people would
* *
stop dying and if he took to
Getting a Minyan
selling candles, the sun would
Then there is the story Phil
shine even at right.
Slomovitz tells about the Jew
Ibn Ezra lived in the times of who was passing a synagogue on
Maimonides who, as everyone the East Side, when he was
knows,. was a great JeWish stopped.
thinker and physician.
"We need you for a minyan,
Maimonides in those days used we have a yahrzeit."
to conduct a clinic. in Cairo and
"You may have a yahrzeit,"
Ibn Ezra used to hear stories of said the passerby, "but I haven't
how the patients would quickly a minute zeit."
* *
pass before Maimonides and he
would diagnose and prescribe for
Doesn't Know But He Does
each patient in rapid fashion, • Mr. Goldberg complained to
as though he were the postman the rabbi about his son's lack of
handing out letters.
acquaintance with the vices.
Ibn Ezra concluded that the Why, he knows nothing about
May this ancient prayer find reality in
the New Year 5711, and may Israel
and all mankind enjoy an unending
era of peace from this day on.
LE SHONO TOVO TIKOSEVU!
.
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