1 8 Try and Stop Me By BENNETT CERF HEN Vice-President Alben Barkley of Kentucky was tour- W ing the country in that amazing, seemingly hopeless cam- paign that brought victory to the Democrats and confusion to the false prophets, he did not hesitate to , rifle the old joke books for anecdotes to brighten his speeches. At every whistle stop and ham- let he would. introduce some appropriate wheeze that not only won him a big laugh but sent his listeners home saying, "At least these Demo- cratic fellers say something! They're not just stuffed shirts!" Earkley calculates that the story he used most—and with the hest results — was the ancient one about the man whose wife had just passed away The funeral procession was shy one car and the undertaker had to ask the husband to ride to the cemetery with his mother-in-law. "All right," conceded the bereaved one reluctantly, "but dang bust it. It'll ruin my whole day!" The classified ad section of a Philadelphia paper contained this classic: "Wanted: apartment big enough to keep bride from going home to mother; small enough to keep mother from coming here." Copyright. 1949, by Benuett Cert.. Distr i buted by King Features Syndicate, Editor Urges British Ease Israel Stand A plea for revision of the British attitude toward Israel and the Italian colonies was made by Symon Gould, editor- publisher of the "International Vegetarian," in an open letter to Sir Stafford Cripps. Gould urges Cripps to remem- ber the dollar -sales potential in the United States of such large groups as American Jews and Americans of Italian descent who, the letter states, "have contributed importantly to the progress of the United States in many fieds." "For reasons best known to your foreign office . . certain attitudes and decisions made .by the British government have gone counter to the .sensibilities of these two groups . . . The Italians with regard to the re- turn of tie former Italian colo- nies to absorb the surplus popu lation of Italy . . The Jews with regard to Israel and the continued •un-cooperative and somewhat hostile attitude of the British government towards the Israeli nationalistic strivings RUGS CLEANED based on a realistic necessity for the provision of their growing population forced upon this small country by recent Euro- pean developments in which Great Britain to some degree had a part in its peak de- nouement which witnessed the extermination of 6.000,000 Jews," the letter reads. "Therefore, I would suggest as a realistic move on the part of your Public Relations Council and in particular on the part of your Foreign Office that some indication be given, not merely verbal, that Great Britain pro- poses to altar her position with regard to these two peoples so that its still great and vital in- fluence may be exerted toward eradicating some of the bad Will which s h e has engendered," Gould states. TH E JEWISH NEWS Friday, September 9, 1949 Test Egypt*, Good Faith Oh Suez Oil Shipment LONDON, (JTA)—The London Times, in a Tel Aviv dispatch regarding the approach' to Israel shores of two oil tankers, says the arrival of the vessels is in- tended to "test the good faith of the Egyptian Government, which recently entered into an agreement with Britain to allow non-military cargoes destined for Israel to pass through the Suez Canal" without interfer- ence. The Times report says that it is not expected that the Haifa oil refineries will be reopened immediately. Although assurances ha v e been received from the Egyptian Government on the passage of Israel-bound ships through the Suez Canal, it would be incorrect to refer to these assurances as an "agreement," since this would imply that Britain recognizes Egypt's right to stop any ship under any circumstances in the Canal, an authoritative source told t h e Jewish Telegraphic Agency. Bnai Brith's Business and Pro- fessional Chapter will open the season "in style," with a fashion show at 8:30 . p.m. Wednesday, Sept. 14, at the. Hotel Tuner. The chapter is an amalgama- tion of the former Louis Mar- shall and Pisgah B and P groups. Ellen Goldberg is president of the consolidatN chapter. Membership is open to all business and professional girls, who are invited to attend the meeting. Membership chairman Betty Rockaway has planned added attractions for paid-up members. She may be contacted at TO. 7-6764 for further infor- mation. NSA Calls for Tolerance CHAMPAIGN, Ill., (JTA) — An appeal to colleges throughout the U. S. to ban new student groups which practice discrimi- nation on grounds of religion, race or political belief was is- sued here by the National Stu, dent Association. Polio Precautions The golden rule of personal clean; liness should be observed particu- larly in the usual summer poll* epidemic months. Food should be kept tightly covered and safe from flies and other insects. The same applies to garbage, which, where other disposal facilities are lacking, should be buried or burned. THE NATIONAL FOROATION FOR INFANTILE PARALYSIS t fail alld there is no place in the world quite like kitcomb SULPHUR SPRINGS Voted for by Europeans STRASBOURG, (JTA)—A de- cision to create an international court for human rights was proved by a vote of 13 to 7. The opponents argued *that no in- ternational court is needed in view of the fact that national courts in each country can en- force the human rights charter. ST. JOSEPH, MICHIGAN * Enjoy - perpetual sunshine'' in America's largest (comfortably accommodates 50 people) and most luxurious Sun Tan Solarium—Caribbean atmosphere! For a smile of health and beauty take our famous Sulphur Baths and scien- tific massage. At the age of 70 a Supreme Court Justice may retire on full pay. 4 Hours from Detroit. M.C.R.R. leaving Detroit at 1 p.m. will be met at Niles Fun too—DANCING NIGHTLY in our Marine Bar . . . Whitcomb orchestra Outdoor sports Modern fireproof hotel—open all year. Rooms single from $3.50, double from $5—European Plan. You can budget your stay at the Whitcomb as low as $8.50 per day including room, Sulphur Both and 3 marvelous meals . For Reservations—Detroit Office Phone CHerry . 9000. Ask for Miss Baker Prescriptions & Repairs Called for and Delivered. 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