Thursday, September 22, 1949

DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE

Sage Counsel
in Berdichev

Of a New Breed

By ELITE NATIIANS
(World News Services)
I BERDICHEV they said:—"If
A a man has a dirty hat, holes in
his pants, and two buttons miss-
ing on his vest, he should do one
of two things—get married or
get divorced."
•
•
•
"DO YOU LIKE your new baby
sister, Sammie," a little boy in
Haifa was asked recently.
"Oh, she's all right," he re-
plied, "but we need other things
more."
• • •

EVERYBODY KNOWS how
difficult housing conditions are
in Israel. Said a landlord to a
prospective tenant: "This is a
nice two-room apartment. That's
the bedroom and this is the linen
closet."
"I suppose the closet is the
room with the shelves in it?"
the would-be tenant remarked.
• • •
MINSK JEWS are always
known for grumbling about their
wives.
"That wife of mine,: cried a
bearded Jew with a capote, "she
is driving me crazy. She always
wants money. From morning to
night, it's money, money, money
whether I am going in or out,
it's always the same old cry.
Lucky am I that we have a Sab-
bath to quiet her."
"That's really bad," a sympa-
thetic friend observed. "What
does she do with all the money?"
"I don't know . . . I never
give her any."
• • •
MANY ARE THE JOKES in
Israel about the newspapers. Re-
cently, it is said, "Davar" an-
nounced the death of the respect-
ed Itzchok Levy. The next day
the paper is supposed to have
printed a retraction:
"Yesterday we were the first
paper to say that Itzchok Levy
had died. Today, according to
our usual policy of being first
with the news, we hasten to write
first that this is not so. Read
the 'Davar'."
• • •
THE RIVALRY between the
Yiddish papers in New York is
well known. "I found a wonder-
ful thing in your paper today,"
said an inveterate "Tog" reader
to a reader of the "Morning Jour-
nal."
"Nu, and what was that?" the
irather surprised "Journal" fol-
lower inquired.
"A pound of butter," came the
reply.
• •
ONCE UPON A TIME the late
Daniel Frohtnan was entertained
at dinner by a Hollywood social
lioness, a wealthy globe-trotter
wh'o for many years had been
collecting antiques.
After she had led him from
room to room, from Louis XVI
mirrors to Ming Dynasty vases,
from a bed in which Napoleon
had once slept to a hearth in
which Washington may have
spat, she suddenly stopped to ex-
plain that, in addition to the im-
mense houseful Frohman was in-
specting, she had many other rare
pieces of furniture in storage.
"Now what would you do,"
she asked laughingly, "if you
had as many beautiful antiques
as that?"
As usual, Daniel didn't hesi-
tate.
"Madame," he said, "I'd have
an auction."

•

Holiday Greetings

BARBAS
DRUG CO.
noo W. McNichols

Corner off

Santa Barbara

Page 4T

Air Program
for Children
Is Available

NEW YORK — Two 15-minute
radio programs for children have
been transcribed by the National
Jewish Welfare Board-sponsored
Jewish Book Council of America
for use by Jewish Community
Centers and YM-YWHAs and
communal agencies, Dr. Solomon
Grayzel, Jewish Book Council
president, announced.
The programs are adaptations
of two books: "Habibi and Yow"
by Alathea 0.. Silverman and
"Americans All" by Cocar Leon-
ard.
"Habibi and Yow" relates the
adventures of a boy and his dog
in celebrating the various Jewish
festivals and holidays together.

Gershon Ackerman was born In Poland, but he is now a lull-
fledged Israeli. Gershon is one of the youth who are proving to
the world that Jews in their own land are able to do everything
necessary for industrial advance.

"ABE," SAID THE poet's wife
in their small apartment in Tel
Aviv, "if you get a check for
your poem from the paper we'll
paper the living room. And if
you get your poems back, we can
also paper the living room"
• • •
"I AM SORRY to tell you, Mrs.
Iztikovich, that your husband will
never be able to work again,"
said the ,doctor.
"Thanks doctor, thanks, I'll go
tell Milton, it'll cheer him up."
• • •
AN ISRAELI SOLDIER met a
very old man in one of the vil-
lages in the north.
"Have you lived here all your
life?" he inquired politely.
"Not yet," snapped back the
oldster. •
• • •

A MAN WALKED into a res-
taurant and left the door open.
A big fat man called out: "Shut
the door. Were you brought up
in a barn?"
The man closed the door, sat
down and began to cry. At this
the fat man looked uncomfort-
able and went over to the sor-
rowful one.
Said he, "I'm sorry. I didn't
intend to hurt your feelings."
"I'm not crying because you
hurt my feelings," was the reply,
"but the fact is, I was brought

up in a barn and every time I
hear an ass bray it makes me
homesick."

• • •

NEW YEAR
GREETINGS

FONTANA
BROS.

2431 Woodward
CA. 6134

Holiday Greetings

MR. & MRS. WILLIAM HORDES & FAMILY

2308 CALVERT

WASHINGTON, D. C. — Ap-
proximately 75 leaders of the
Bnai Brith Girls, an organization
for high school girls sponsored by
the Bnai Brith Youth Organiza-
tion, met at Camp Achim in Wa-
tervliet, Mich., Aug. 28-Sept. 1 to
complete national business.

•Mr.11■14.0•• ■ •■ •• ■•• • •■ 11 ■ 11,11M11. •■ •■■••■■ •••1110

Greetings

MONTEREY

Juvenile Furniture

— CHILDREN'S FURNITURE
— BABY CARRIAGES
— PLAY THINGS

12040 - 42 - 46
DEXTER BLVD.
TO 8-1114

FEATURES FAMOUS FIGURES
"Americans A 11" dramatizes
moments in the lives of such
figures as Francis Salvador, Ju-
dah Touro, Samuel Gompers,
Lillian Wald, and other men and
women, all of whom were both
Americans- and Jews and all of
whom helped make America
great.
Heidy Mayer, story teller and
radio star of Mutual Broadcasting
System's well-known children's
radio program, "Here's Heidy,"
wrote the adaptations and enacts
all of the parts.
FREE OF CHARGE
Centers, YM-YWHAs and other
groups that secure time on their
local radio stations may get the
recording without cost by writ-
ing to the Jewish Book Council
of America, 145 East 32nd, New
York 16.
Scripts of the programs, sug-
gested opening and closing an-
nouncements and localized re-
leases will be sent with the
record.

BACK IN THE depression days,
circumstances made for cold-
blooded business methods. When
an Eastern firm received word
that one of its salesmen had been
For Want Ads that click, call
found dead in San Francisco, it
the Jewish Chronicle, WO. 1-1040,
wired as follows:
"Send samples back by freight before 10 a.m., Wednesday.
and search the body for orders."
• • •
YOU CAN'T FOOL all the peo-
ple all the time, but it isn't nec-
MR. and MRS.
essary. A majority will do.

CENTER ART CLASSES
The fall semester art classes of
the Center will begin Oct. 2, and
continue through Feb. 15.

National BBG Parley
Held in Michigan Camp

HOLIDAY

GREETINGS

Richardson
R. Bowman

5182 Grand River

TY. 4-9213

.1••• ■■•■•■■••■•••■■ ••Ma.O.01111

Happy New Year To All

ZUROFF'S

Hi-Grade Furniture

Fine Lamps
Good Furniture

8810 TWELFTH
TR 2.9374

r

e-3W tell-f

••• ■ ••

11(1S

MARLIN
LUMBER CO.

19212 Ohio Avenue

. 111 .1■ • •■

new Years

C ireett

RICHARD S. ROCKLIN
and FAMILY

WISH TO EXTEND
NEW YEAR'S GREETINS
TO ALL THEIR
RELATIVES and FRIENDS

•Y• ■• ••••• ■ •• ■ • ••■■•••■•

■•■ •••••• ■■0■ •••• ■■ ••• ■

•

!(

k

1330 HILTON ROAD
Ferndale 20
Michigo

NY.1316" .40.41111110•

A Happy

Holiday To All

12300 GREENFiELD

4111•1111.1

MILO
COM

6500 KERCHEVAL

The Detroit Auxiliary of the Loa Angeles Sanitarium wishes
all their donors, sympathisers, co-workers and all Jews a
eery Happy New Year with prosperity and good health.
To all presidents of synagogues—please remember the La

Angeles Sanitarium is your appeals during High Holidays.

•••

N. R. EPSTEIN, Pres.

■■■ ••• ■ •••••••• ■■ ••••• ■ •••• ■•■••■■ •••••••••• ■••■•■■•■•••■

THE BERDITCHEVER AID SOCIETY
Extend. Best Wishes for a

•

Healthy and Happy New Year
To All Its Members, Their Families and Friends

A. FELDMAN, President

J. ZINSTEIN, Vice-President

Greetings on the New Year

HOLIDAY GREETINGS

CASS MOTOR SALES

DODGE -:PLYMOUTH

AND DODGE TRUCKS

HARRY SLATKIN

DIRECT FACTORY DEALERS

5800 CASS

TR. 5-5800

