Friday, October 1, 1948

DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE

No Hitler in Minneapolis

A Lion or Two
on Roman Days

?age Torty -five

HERE IS A NEW shaggy dog
story:
A stranger addressed Nuss-
kop, "Say, do you realize you
are trying to read your news-
paper upside down?"
"Of course I do," snorted
Nusskop. "Do you think it's
easy?"

And a Tale on How
a Writer Gave Up

ROSH

(A World News Serblee Feature)

By ELYEH NATHANS

IN THE TIME of the Romans,
sport-loving citizenry used to
crowd the arenas to see Jews
tossed to the lions.
The Romans were especially
pleased to hear that a very re-
bellious Jew, who had caused
the authorities a great deal of
trouble, was to be the latest
victim. For six days 10 lions
were starved into ferocity to
make sure the spectacle would
be gruesome enough.
Tens of thousands came to
witness the sight. The Jew stood
alone in the arena, fearless and
serene.
The first lion was released.
He headed straight for the Jew.
A strange thing happened. The
Jew bent down and whispered
something in the lion's ear and
the animal trotted away. Six
times this happened. The mo-
ment they came near the Jew,
and he had an opportunity to
speak to them, the fierce lions
turned into gentle tabbies. The
crowd was disappointed.
The king summoned the Jew
over to his box. "If you'll tell
me what you said to those
lions," he offered, "I'll grant
you a full pardon."
"It was very simple, sire,"
explained the Jew. "I just whis-
pered in their ears, 'Remem-
ber, you'll be expected to say a
few words after dinner.' "
—o—
AT ONE STAGE the Romans
offered the Jews what they
laughingly called a 50-50 chance.
They were allowed to pull a
slip from the helmet. If the slip
read "no," they were safe; if
it said "yes," well .. .

The Mizrachi Women's 'Orga-
nization of America is one of
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ized to collect funds in the U.S.
for Youth Aliyah work. U.P.A..
Hadassah, and Pioneer Women
are the other three. .

HASHONAII

GREETINGS

and

New Year's Greetings

A new life has begun for Mr. and Mrs. Herbert Friedlander
who recently resettled in Minneapolis with the aid of United
Service for New Americans, following their arrival from a DP
camp in Germany.

One Jewish prisoner found
out that the two slips in his
helmet read "yes." But he
wasn't worried. He reached into
the helmet, read it, tore it into
shreds, and started to walk
away.
"Just a minute," cried his
angry captors. "What did your
slip say?"
"Never mind that," he an-
swered affably, ''just read the
one you have left."
—0—
A GREAT JEWISH historian
decided to while away his hours
in Siberia by writing a history
of the world. Ile was about
three-quarters finished when,
one day, he was distracted, by
a great noise outside. The other
prisoners had become involved
in an argument. Blows were ex-
changed. The inmates yelled en-
couragement and took sides in
the struggle.

ACME PIE CO.

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Greetings

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—O-

A HIGHLY CONCEITED poet
wrote an ode entitled "To Pos-
terity" and sent an advance
copy to Spinoza.
Spinoza frowned as he read
it. Then he observed, "This
poem will never achieve its des-
tination."

to

2286 E. Milwaukee

At supper that night no one
talked about anything else. A
dozen men gave the historian
their version of what happened.
No two stories were identical.

The historian went back to his
cell, took his history manu-
script, ripped it into shreds, and
threw it into the stove.

BEST WISHES

JEWRY

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TY 8-8722

ROSH HASHONAII

GREETINGS

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Rosh Hashonah Greetings

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