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Friday, August 30, 1946

DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE and The Legal Chronicle

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Personal Problems

Plain Talk

By ALFRED SEGAL

By DR. W. A. GOLDBERG

Your 'mentions on peroonal problems will be answered br moll as far
as possible. Send a self-addressed. stamped envelope to Dr. %V. A.
Goldberg', 1314 Eaton Tower, Detroit 25, DlIchlean, or to the Editor
of this paper.

9

`Grandpa, What's a Jew?"

Symptoms, Not Causes
That buy Paul is a most embarrassing
In your irritated state, you react dis- child with all the questions he asks. There
respectfully, which hurts you. You can gyps an awfully distressful moment one
"I married during the war and accepted see the reason for it. You know that you day last winter when he addressed a nun
my in-laws' Invitation to live with them do not dislike her and that you would who was visiting his nursery school. He
while my husband was In the army. To not talk that way If everything were all ssked her what she had on beneath het
keep busy, I worked. When George was right.
black robe.
discharged, I quit my job. We can't find
Take a trip with George. Talk it over
We take him to a restaurant and a well-
other space and so we live with his folks. and get him to agree on moving. Show rounded waitress comes to our table tc
My In-laws are fine people but I am on him the importance of moving. If he is take the order and what does he ask
the verge of screaming because they want reasonable, he will support your wish. It her? He asks her why are you so fat?
to be "helpful" all the time. Ills mother would be fatal if you touch on his lack
A colored maid at a house he Is visit-
insists on knowing where we go, tells me of independence. Let him make the de- ing, helps him with his coat and he mor-
what to prepare for his meals . . . I hate cision, even if you put the words in his tifies me half to death as they say. by
to hear her voice. My tone and words are mouth. As a woman, you will know how. asking her: "Are you black all over?"
hardly respectful but I have reached the
Under tension, we all say things which
That's his inquiring mind for you. Paul
limit of my endurance . ► . What can I we realize are improper and which we mill be A In November and perhaps it is
do?" — Mary G.
regret later. Under tension, all humans are of some interest, if not of any importance
Yours is the old story of one house inclined to blame the other person: hus- `o mention that he is a grandson of mine.
never being large enough for two families. band, wife, children. I pointed this out
He nut me on the snot only the othet
You have three alternatives: to accept the In the column: "The Salt Cellar and the day with one of his questions . "Grand.
situation; to break away from George and Kiss." We all react to stress by additional
" he asked. "what's a Jew?"
his parents; to wean George away from stress. The child's usual behavior be -comes
I wouldn't have you believe that his
his parents.
gross misbehavior. Something we ordinarily infant mind already broods on the matter
Your husband has not yet emancipated overlook is magnified. Sickness brings ten of being a Jew. Goodness no! It was
himself from his parents. He doesn't know sion, worry and overwork which is re- simply that the term "Jew" had come to
that a wife's wishes must come before his flected in individual responses. It is not his ears for the first time and he promptly
mother's. Love for a mother and love for unusual to bring home the tensions of wanted to know what that was.
a wife can exist side by side but can the office or school or even the bridge
It wes this way: His great-grandfather
never be substituted for each other.
club. That's what a home is for a safe was visiting him and in the course of
place to vent our emotions.
meditating upon this young descendant.
Falls to See
the old gentleman said: "I hope he'll he
Tense Moments
Your mother-in-law falls to see that her
There is a mild irresponsibility under a good Jew."
son's marriage created another household,
Then Paul turned to me and asked:
with rights, independence and the privi. tension. But we cannot admit to ourselves "Grandpa, what's a Jew?"
lege of doing differently. It is none of her that we acted unwisely. Husbands and
Several weeks before he had asked me
business where you two go or what you children can learn to gauge the tense
explain the atomic bomb and now this'
periods
In
the
mother's
life
and
so
keep
eat.
Wh"t could I tell the' kid? I could see
George is facing a decision: Whether his out of the way or not react.
It Is also helpful to make a list of the that his faith in the omniscience faltered
wife or mother comes first. The sooner
situations
causing tension. If this list is es I groped and stammered towaad an
he makes his decision, the earlier he will
read
the
next
day and analyzed, there answer for his latest question. I w"s
create his own family. The longer the
Is
a
more
realistic
view of them since the quicker the time he asked me about the
present situation continues, the harder it
immediate
tension
is over. Ask yourself atomic bomb.
will be to break away and the greater the
What could I answer now? I could feel
did. Too often the
why
you
acted
as
you
possibility of a wrecked marriage.
the multitude of Jewry plucking at my
tension
reflects
your
own
mental
state.
You cannot accept the present situation.
elbow. prompting me what to tell him.
You do not wish to break away from You can learn your own touchy spots and Almost every Jew had a different answer.
remedy
some
of
them.
If
you
still
find
your man. Your goal must be to wean
There were these I could hear say:
George away from his mother. That calls that other people cause tension in you, "Shame on you Segal! You have a grand-
we
suggest
professional
analysis
of
the
for tact and care, firmness and delibera-
child whom you have allowed to grow
tion so that you do nothing to hurt the problem. If you can face the problem slmost to the ripe age of 4 without know.
honestly,
you
will
have
taken
a
major
folks. You will accomplish it sooner if
ing what a Jew is! He should have re-
you move by yourself, even into one room. remedial step.
quired that knowledge with tne milk he

Your Index of Irritability

—

Capital Letter

BY CHARLES BENSON

Across sampan-filled Soochow Creek in
Shanghai is a shabby, crowded section
called Hongkew, the ghetto of the Far
East. Fourteen thousand European Jews
who fled from Nazi persecution In the
years from 1933 to 1939 are still waiting,
there for some means of leaving their
"temporary" refuge.
They came to Shanghai at the time be-
cause an entrance visa to China was not
required. They came as a las! resort. They
had hoped to move on, after a short stay,
to permanent homes somewhere else. But
their plans have been successfully ham.
strung by the authorities who talk vaguely
about "quotas, visas, affidavits, transport
money, priorities."
A slight measure of hope has been of-
fered the refugees lately by UNRRA. A
resolution adopted in Nanking recently
by the Committee of the UNRRA Council
of the Far East asks the American. Eng-
lish. French and Russian military author.
ities in Germany and Austria to grant
entry permits to the 1,700 Germans and
1.300 Austrians who are willing to go back
to those countries. Occupation authorities
have previously refused permission to
Shanghai's German and Austrian refugees,
according to an UNRRA report. The Chi-
nese government favors repatriation of the
refugees unless sneErs:rs of the In-
terior and Foreign Affairs sanction their
further stay in China.
There are, however, an additional 5,600
German and 3,000 Austrian refugees who
refuse to return and several thousand more
from other European areas, Poland, Czech-
oslovakia and the Baltic states.
The American Joint Distribution Com-
mittee is spending approximately $100,000
a month in care of these refugees and
provides a cash monthly allowance of
about' seven U. S. dollars per person.
UNRRA has set aside a special budget of
$2,000,000 for the European refugees and
to date has made available more than
$1,000,000 worth of foodstuffs, primarily
U. 8. Army rations, as well as clothing
and medical supplies. UNRRA, the Chinese
National Relief and Rehabilitation Ad-
ministration, is responsible for housing the
refugees.
In Shanghai the housing shortage has
forced the refugees into f fight camps in
the Hongkew district. They live in con-
verted godowns (warehouses), ramshackle
apartment. houses or in the Quonset huts
supplied by UNRRA. As many as 50 per.
sons are crammed Into one room and
there is no privacy. The rooms are un.

heated in the winter, except for a sma I
,mount of warmth from cook stoves and
body warmth. Their meagre belongingt
are stuffed under the tiny beds. Sanitary
conditions are poor.
In spite of such squalid conditions, some
of the refugees have tried to make their
quarters more liveable. Every day a Vien.
nese woman, remembering that homes are
supposed' to have beauty, puts a bowl of
fresh flowers on a lace doily in the middl ,
of her khaki covered cot.
Many of the refugees have been living
in these quarters for more than sever
years, still waiting for their chance to
move, on to a permanent home. The,
originally settled in Hongkew because the
rents were cheaper than those of thc
French Concession or the Internationa;
Settlement. When the Japanese came they
expelled many of the Chinese resident . .
but allowed the refugees to settle and
start businesses.
After Pearl Harbor the Jewish refugees
who had settled in other parts of Shanghai
were brought in and the Hongkew ghetto
became a virtual prison. Now the Japs
have gone, and the former Chinese tenants
are clamoring for their buildings which
are occupied by the refugees.
It is almost impossible for the refugees
to get jobs in Shanghai where manpower
is so plentiful. They cannot begin to com-
pete with the Chinese coolies for manual
labor jobs. Some have become 'hairdressers
army chauffeurs, U. S. Army Post Ex
change employees or shop keepers and
clerks. Some of the doctors are working
in the 150-bed hospital while others have
managed to start small practices.
They have organized their life of forced
waiting and inactivity. They have set up
their own schools, libraries, orphanages
and nurseries. They try to help them
selves, to keep body and soul together,
always waiting for the time when they
will be able to move on to make a new

beginning somewhere else.

HOLD FUNERAL FOR 36

FRANKFURT, (JTA)—Funeral services
were held this week for 26 Jews whose

sucked out of the bottle. His Jewish
identity should already be a part of his
being. What kind of a Jew are you Sega.
'o let a grandchild of yours grow up to
'he finT of 4 without knowing what o
Jew is?"
As the invisible host of Israel pressed
around me each impinged his opinion on
any mind, pondering what to answer the
boy.
Some insisted It was about time I \ass
selling him that he was a member of the
Tewish nation. He, at his age, should al.
ready be made to feel that he belongs to
a separate people and to order his life
accordingly. They said the way to start
a Jew right was to start him nationally
from the cradle. I had been an errant
^randfather in neglecting my duty as an
incestor who should be handing down
the Jewish idea to his descendants.
Still others said no! I should make it
clear to Paul that to be a Jew was tc
belong to a special kind of civilization
that had to do with culture, manners and
folkways. What kind of grandfather was
I to have denied this child his inheritance
even to the age of 4? Was I less than the

robber who might take his candy away
from him? I was more than such a rob-
ber, since I had been withholding from
him his inherited rights.
Some addressed me more charitably .
Well, Segal, they said, when all's said and
done, what are we? The most reasonable
thing you can tell this boy is that we be.
long to a religious group. We are Jews
because of the way we worship and be.
cause of our spiritual ideals. We all do
agree on that, don't we? Therefore, our
religion is the common 'denominator of
being Jewish.
The tumult of conflicting opinion was
loud in my head . . . 'Tell the boy about
the homeland ..." "Tell him about anti-
Semitism and the way it's the duty of
the Jew to stand up to theni" . . . "Tell
him about Jewish religion and its tradi-
tional laws" . . . "Tell him about Jewish
reli-ion but the Reform way of it" . . .
"No, it must be Orthodoxy!"
Finally I pushed them all aside. I war
*Pada to address myself to Paul. "Paul!"
By that time he had applied himself
deeply to his electric train . . . ''Paul"
I said, "you remember you asked me what
a RV/ is. Now listen Paul. I'll tell you."
Well, I went on, to be a Jew is to be
a good boy. It's to care about other pen.
-lc. You are a Jew whenever you behave
that way. You aren't a Jew if you grab
to•s away from other children and hit
them. No, Paul, you weren't a Jew the
other day when you got mad at Amy
and hit her on the head with a rake and
wade it bleed.
Paul was exulting to see his train going
so smoothly around the bend. I dropped
the matter of what being a Jew is. Some
day when he is older and more under-
standing I'll tell him.
"Paul the main thing about being a
Jew is what you do and what you givr•
to the world. You see Paul there are all
kinds of people in the worn] and the
'ews are one of the kinds. It's just like
in a family in which there are different
• Inds of people but they're all alike
thetvh. in wanting to keep the family
well fed and warm and decently behaved
"The family of the world is called the
brotherhood and everybody Is a brother
in it. You are a brother of the world and
the best way to be a Jew is to be a good
brother. To be just and kind and to go
along with all the other kinds of people
who want to make it a better world.
"As a Jew you get your teaching from
the Old Bible and other people get theirs
from the New Bible, but they're both
nretty much the same teaching. This
teaching that you have is a good light to
o by and the teaching of the Christians
is a good light. A good Jew doesn't run
'way from the world With his light; he
joins his light with the lights of the other
people to find a good, new way for al,
the peoples to live together In peace. You
see, a good Jew isn't one who wants to
be separate. But, first of all, though. a
'ew must show by his own conduct that
he has good light to give.
"There may be some who will turn yob
away, even if you are the best of Jews,
but that's all right. In being a good man
ou will have made good as a Jew and
`hat's enough."
(I invite the opinion of citizens who may
have other Ideas as to how to answer
Paul's question, "Grandpa, what's a Jew?"

-

Strictly Confidential

By PHINEAS K. BIRON

a.

(Phineas K. Biron is on vacation. The following article is substituted.)
tary of the American Jewish delegation to
the Versailles Conference and now head
of the Jewish Information Bureau, for ex.
pert opinion on the problems and ap-
proach to the problems of Jewish dele-
(An Interview with Bernard G. Richards) gates then and nosy.
By LIBBY LAZARSON ZARITSKY
"Twenty-seven years ago," Mr. Richards
At Paris, where the foundation for said, "there were twice as many Jews as
world peace is being laid by the states- there are now. They hadn't suffered ex.
men of the world. Jewish delegations, terminations, concentration camps and
representing diversified outlooks on Jew wholesale deportation. They were more
ish problems, are seeking to synthesize c onfident, more believing and they were
their differences with a view to presenting b tter organized." His voice trailed off as
recalled the days when he was a deic-
a single document to the Peace Confer-
ence for the protection of Jewish rights.
e to the Versailles Peace Conference.
When the mutliple Jewish delegations be-
T hough ravaged and torn by conditions
gan arriving in Paris there was justified brc tight on by the war," Mr. Richards
anxiety in Jewish circles that "too many eon nued, "the Jewish communities in
cooks may spoil the broth." Moreover, It 191:' In Eastern Europe began to formulate
was felt that there was no reason why thei,
demands and make plans for action
those delegations could not get together right . . after the conclusion of hostilities,
on basic issues and act with unity as was but
nder the inspiration of the agitation
the case preceding the Versailles Peace and t
tivities which were carried on by
Conference, when the Jewish delegations their / ree brethren in the United States,
formed one committee.
ulated also by similar discussions
and
With these thoughts in mind, this writer and et:
favors on the part of the Jews

Our Only Chance:
A Call for Unity

bodies were exhumed recently from a mass
grave near Tirschenreuth, where they had
been burled when they died during a forced
march from the Buchenwald concentration
camp early In 1945, Capt. L. It Mariels, a
military government officer, announced
this week. Ninety-eight Nazis from the
town were forced to dig up the bodies.
approached Bernard G. Richards, secre.

!la

(Continued on Page 16)

