American ewish Periodical Carter CLIFTON AVENUE - CINCINNATI 20, 01110 Friday, February 15, 1946 • r So They Tell lie--- Personal Problems Director, Counselling Service Copyrighted. 1946, by W. A. Goldberg, Ph.D. All rights reseNied Your questons in personal problems will be answered by mail as far as possible or in these columrs. Send your question and a stamped, self-addressed rowel. ope to Dr. W. A. Goldberg, 1314 Eaton Tower, D e. beet 26, Mich. or to the Detroit Jewish Chron. ,cle, 525 Woodward Avenue, Detroit 26, Mich. Two Ways of Overcoming Grief 'A young lady in our office lost her husband a year ago in the Navy. She was a quiet person whom we enjoyed and invited to our homes. .. Now she drinks quite a lot, has a date with a different man every night and is rushing to forget her grief in a 'good tinse.' 11'e sympathize with her loss. We would like to help her. But she pushes us aside when we try to talk. Do you have any suggestions for us?" OFFICE FORCE AT CO. I Because this is a problem which many young women and parents are facing, we would be pleased to have the reactions of readers. We could like also to know the specific ways readers have found success- ful in dealing with the loss of husbands and children. Your commendable efforts are being balked because the girl is not ready for your help. She has lost her sense of balance. She leans back- wards to forget, yet her rushing about indicates she does not face facts. Until she sees what she is doing, no word or action of yours will have any effect. Perhaps you can stay with her, stand by her so that she does nothing desperate. Perhaps, if she sees you standing by, she may ask your help. Grief, like other shocks and disappointments in life, is solved in various ways by different people. I know a young lady with the same misfortune. She was away from work for a week after official notifi- cation. Now she dresses modestly. She works every day. Community affairs continue to occupy her time now as before. On the surface, she is no different than before her loss. I am told she and her husband were exceptionally devoted to each other. I am sure she is lonesome. know that she cries when alone. That is a good way of relieving her feelings. What is the difference between this girl and the one yoe mention? My friend is a well-balanced person. She realizes she had love. She knows now that the Lord, in His wisdom, gave her only a short period of devotion with her husband. She is grateful for His blessings. A second difference is that she is living. Her mind is busy with satisfy- ing work. She has her friends. She is essentially a grown person in her emotional ife. That has been her salvation. She lives for today and tomorrow, not yesterday alone. Extreme Reactions ■ Your friend, on the other hand, has no apparent sense of values. Perhaps her only values were surface matters. They cannot sustain her when she has disappointment or grief, Is she so foolish to think that life is all happiness? She is chasing shadows and never quite catching up with them. Her parents and her friends had their dis- appointments. I am certain they did not give up. People of limited outlook cling to the past. They fear to face the present. Some women mourn their husband for ten or twenty years. During' this time they have no husbands. Their children have no mother. During this time they should be thinking of life ahead, of remarrying, of preserving the family. Your friend would characterize the same reactions, in another girl, as downright scandalous.-Perhaps she is afraid to look into the mental mirror. Can she detach herself and look at the picture outsiders get of her? Of course, no person is a rubber bail, bouncing back when slammed down. It takes time to accustom one's self to life without a husband or a son. But that time is not eternity, not the rest of life. A continuous period of grief is a continuous escape from life and under- mines personality. Crying is good. It Is a form of relief. Talking about the Person who has gone is a form of relief. But if carried to an extreme, it may bring serious problems. The pace of your friend makes one suspect that she is heading for a collapse. Unfortunately, people cannot he helped unless they wish it. You cannot force them to change, to seek advice. In such cases, all that friends can do is to stand by as faith- ful friends. You may ease the greatest shocks. You may be able to lend a supporting hand when she wants help. LEGIETER9 Eox Brotherhood Week Gentlemen: Is our American way of life to survive? If so, we must unite and have teamwork In peace as we did in war! For what is the use of having won a global war if the same forces that tried to conquer our nation (runs without are allowed to divide and destroy us from within? Hate movements, like the old Ku Klux-ism, are again setting creed against creed, class against class. I know this for certain. I also know that in many cases the leaders are working for personal financial gain. To my mind this is a crime, and to use the words of a legal euthority, "a community bus the moral duty to ace to it that, like any other crime, racial aggression does not pay." Personal knowledge of tie , subject came to me as Pmesiding Judge at the trials of the in- I■ 11110US Murk Legion When one group is assailed, soon another group provides victims Intederante and hate have no limit. Remember how the Nazis started with the Jews, ended by torturing even Germens and our own soldiers Don't let It happen here Leta atop it Let'a °laws' it by ever), uu ills le't's all of us eland up and Ise counted us loyul Americium, imseed like heolliess against u cruel enemy of the family So. if you belong to my cluse) or to any chinch. you, 14'11)0011 •easinande you to regard all own us bruthers So now dot's you' Americus) leyulte Then enroll in the Anetrican Brotherhood become 011)110.1'd with the Nutiowil member of the Detroit Itound f!'itsfvfon . i . of Chrirtlans and Jew is Do It today tot iityi gam t an hold you' head high alms, blgut esel leteasean. a Vous bUil ► 4 flp(11111 Its lhF he al tit yitor be nult all/t ti blxurdI Jtnah;1'11 A irt()YNIfiriN Lytle, twill Indio 1 7 111511 J whit ul Cali olio Jtstliu Jaisueo t. I I' 55.1 l• altlid "" "`.#0, 1 Law f.s. hol 11111%1, as 4, 1,, list 1 111st soli II lets' L. 1, us, ii.. se s.s ewe hot su !Wale , suet appit s seises. lulus ti , 1 *ill rinull> 1st it le tee/. luu 1" 4t11 1. " 11 , 1/4 014540 hue t is es ► 4AI lit (INCE IN A while. justice is via- l-7 ited upon evil doers. It is only human for one to feel happy when such a visitation of justice takes place. Therefore the friends. relatives and acquaintances of a certain practical joker whom we will call M may listen with joy and anticipation. ItI was a practical joker from the word go. The flower in his buttonhole spurted water in your face if you smelled it. If you shook hands with him, a little pin pricked your finger. M's favorite deviltry, however, had to do with restaurants. He loved to walk into a restaurant. unscrew the tops of the salt and pepper shakers and then barely put them on again. If someone wanted a little salt on his egg. he found himself with a lot of salt. If someone wanted a snuff of pepper, he got a big blob. To add to it all, Id had a great big horselaugh which he used raucously and continuously. His friends all knew it. Every one of them had at one time or another contemplated justifiable homicide. M was a gay blade. He liked to go places and do things. He was very fond of good company and liked to appear in public places very frequently. Because he was a good spender and full of life. his friends tolerated his practical jokes. But there is a limit to anyone's patience. One evening, a whole crowd of young fellows went out skylarking, lit among them. They all landed in a restaurant about three o'clock in the morning for a cup of coffee and a sandwich. While the others went into the kitchen to wash their hands, M tat alone at the table. The opportunity was too good for him to miss. He seized the sugar bowl and dumped it sur- reptitiously behind the table. Then he took all the salt cellars and emptied them into the sugar howl. His inward glee mounted as he pictured his friends drink- ing coffee with salt instead of sugar. The others trooped back and gave their orders. Everyone asked for coffee except 11I who took gin- ger ale. Service was slow and they were all tired and sleepy. Only M was full of life. His in- ward anticipation was growing and he was having the time of his life. Came the coffee. Every drinker added his sugar, each to the amount of his taste. AI proposed a toast and lifted his glass • - of ginger ale. He wanted them all to start drinking together. And they did. The results were amazing. M had already started his raucous, booming laugh at the sight of their faces but his laughter stopped suddenly. For it was not necessary to tell these lads who had done what. With one accord, they seized M and handled him with violence. They laid Islas out on the table. They poured all of their coffee into him. They poured the cof- fee, scalding hot, into his mouth, his eyes, his ears and his nose, M drank, choked, spluttered and wept. When the coffee was fin- ished, they dumped the bah into him and all over him. His mouth was full of it. So were Isis eyes and ears and oust.. Then they poured glarsos of water into him and over bins. The proprietor of the pluses rushed to protcet but when they told Uttar tale, he brought them more wstter. And inure salt. SI took it that night us lie had nev- er tstkt n it before It slopped hie practical joking for is whole week But it [likes s n ort (hap th a t to destroy u want. of humor And today, twenty years utter the rer• still bias W tuursint Incident be careful when Whale to )4 If you bold to easel! the fluster his button hole, tie. chance. sit' tell Its one. you M III get( saute )ul,11 A lieteinity boy detidsal LO fist 4u1lurs tutu his buddy picked out us the one lu hos sink (IOW u ). 01411it 111411 fµ1 *haw as 1St s he "I its salt' 41'11 klai /10 tio• lust V1-1141 1. 1411111U11) It 490, MAN elf 11-11E WEEK By LOUIS W. ENFIELD By W. A. GOLDBERG, Ph.D. I Page Five DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE and The Legal Civeniclet I. 1 sus he steal Its hissiesell Ian use /hut I gut bolt i girl lot his dolt Jew etude bat oast If but but ises emu algid gieledol doe die bspl 11iN4auiu of 0 isdiorel ten UP' $11) LP Ito 0414 inAiit , WIMIn #01 41 4,4 1 in kb** lo it06010.4 J.41 01.1 1 *141 1 ble timoi. kihoio • lot ihiuRie 1 .0 14 1 40 14 144 1 YW11Vk 1 *aid ► it. *WI FisAsi- k " 04∎0 *e4I 16161 USKY. ORATORICAL friendly Alvin D. Hersch, prominent De- H trod attorney, is saluted by the CHRONICLE as the Man e' the Week. Hersch is in the fourth generation of Detroit Jews to be brought up in the folds of liberal Judaism. His great grandparents came from Bavaria in 1848. At that time, the democratic revolution led by Carl Schurz in Germany was defeated. The wave of anti-liberalism that set its was accompanied by a wave of emigration. A colony of Germans was set up in Detroit and among them were Hersch'a great grandfather and his grandfather, both of whom were among the eleven charter members of Temple Beth El. Hersch himself was born in Detroit and educated in Detroit schools. He took his Bachelor of Laws degree from the Detroit College of Law and was awarded an honorary Doctor of Laws degree from the University of Detroit. Youngest Lawyer in State He started to practice law in Detroit as the youngest lawyer in the State of Michigan, being sworn in on his 21st birthday. In the course of his law practice. he has handle.' important litigation for Dodge Brothers and for the American Auto Trimming Co., predecessor of Briggs Manufacturing Co. At one time, he represented the objectors to the city's attempt to condemn land for the first air- fort in Detroit. The land in ques- tion was situated eighteen feet under the Detroit River and when he defeated the city's condemna- tion case, he thereby saved the taxpayers millions of dollars. Hersch is the author of three books. In 1918, he published a book called "Michigan Chattel Mortgages" and In 1929, he pub- lished another called "Michigan Conditional and Instalment Sales." This last has been quoted as authority by no less than the Michigan Supreme Court. In 1924, he published a novel called "Soul Toys." "The novel was pure trash," said Hersch with a grin, "but it sold well." ALVIN I). IIERNCII On Bar Association .Committee For a number of years, he was chairman of the legislative com- mittee of the Detroit Bar Association. In 1929, he was assigned to study the Traffic Court situation and he drafted the bill establishing the present Traffic Court, When an attack was made on the constitution- ality of this bill, he represented the judges in its defense. The bill was declared constitutional, the first new court in fifty years to be held constitutional by the Michigan Supreme Court. Questioned about the present difficulties of the Traffic Court, Hersch snorted. "These difficulties are not with the organization of the court but with its administration and Its personnel. The organization is still as sound as when It was first set up." Together with Justice Frank Murphy, Hersch drafted a model Public Defender bill to provide counsel for indigent accused persons It was designed to supplant the haphazard system of assignments now in use. On Speakers Bureau In request as a speaker for organizations all over the country, Hersch wits for five years chairman of the Speakers Bureau of the Detroit Community Fund. For a number of years, he was also chair- man of the Speakers Bureau of the Allied Jewish Campaign. Since the war, Mr. Herscfl has devoted most of his spare time to the Detroit Round Table of Catholics, Jews and Protestants for which he is an ardent worker. He does a lot of speaking on this subject for schools, clubs and churches. Interested In Brotherhood "I find myself tremendously interested In Brotherhood," he said. "1 feel that the National Conference of Christians and Jews, of which the Detroit Round Table is the local chapter, is making great prog- ress. I feel also that Jews are the greatest beneficiaries of this group. One very intereeting development of this work Is that Fundamentalist. Christian churches are constantly requesting talks on' Jewish religion." In connection with this, Hersch left last Thursday for Fest Worth. Texas, where he will be engaged In giving talks during the whole of Brotherhood Vs'erk which lusts from February IT to 23. 'reseed* Extetatively He has traveled extensively In Europe. In 1924, he went to the American liar Association meeting in London and, at that time, he made II tour of ten countries and thirty cities. In 1932, he revisited Europe, traveling in England and France. When the war broke out, he tried to get Into active military service but was lifistit•eviod ul. Accordingly, he became active in the army orientation program, Nerving without compenaution. During the user period, he spoke to over half a million soldb.ra and sellout Its army Famish and naval stations all the way from Texas to Canada. Fin. Wile years, he wile a nieniln•r of the board of Temple Beth l';1 unit iit one wise nreuident of the old Phoenix Club, He Willi also formerly a member of the committee on Public Itelutions of the let- I Olt Ji . V.1611 Comeisitaty CO14111'11. of flu' 'A/WWII, Wild. "I (1111114 II Is 110111i; a treinensiesis job The future welfare of the Jewish community here cuteliree it *tying, active council There it evidence that the tee etell F a n and will r ti e s ep se see the benefit of tar whole of the commutate , Id Detroit " Detroit 14 ill notch qualm "The Netiulf Jewlsii room/amity has alevity• dolt' its proper share isi Isideilsne its ul deini," Ise Willi oil "I think the Iwo minion 40114 1 iil/4/10 14141 41,i'd NetI it IS huh tlu• asiniefute ewe tile( hue is ht' rithotil 1 think will nut be uny difficulty in fawns (Ins." 11a misIt Ilan (to' is y t•I I it 1:1114.11116. 0 ,41.0 1i414, 11 es a Weep-doe owl lists alone I1s. 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