Friday, January 4, 1946

Personal Problems

By W. A. GOLDBERG, Ph.D.

Director, Counselling Service

Copyrighted, 1946, by W. A. Goldberg, Ph.D.

All rights reserved

Your questens in personal problems will be answered
by mail a+ far as possible or in +heso columns. Send
your question and a stamped, self-addressed envel-
ope to Dr. W. A. Goldberg, 1314 Eaton Tower, De-
troit 26, Mich. or to the Detroit Jewish Chron-
icle, 525 Wcodward Avenue, Detroit 26, Mich.

DO YOU PLAN TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS?

a

"We have set our wedding (late within several months. illy
fiancee suggests that we move in wills his parents because apart-
ments are hard to find. I have been told that married people
should live by themselves. I would like to postpone our marriage
until we can find an apartment. Can you help us decide upon a
course of action?"
O.M. and D.G.

I would say emphatically: Do not live with his parents, your par-
ents or any other relative. Get into a place of your own, no matter how
small or mean it is. That is my general suggestion.

However, I have to modify that statement today, because of the
housing shortage. Try your best to find anything that permits privacy,
away from relatives. If it is impossible to find rooms, move in with
the folks but have it clear that you will move out when the first
vacancy occurs.

Why do I say this? I have seen a great number of young married
People starting out in marriage. They have the best intentions. But
something seems to stand in the way of moving out. They just never
get out by themselves.

Assume with me that your folks are the finest people in the world,
that each one of you is an only child. Your parents would do anything
for you. That is exactly the wrong thing. You must do things for
yourselves. You cannot establish a home with other people making
decisions for you.

You were raised in times much different from those of your par-
ents. Marriage means an emancipation of parents from children and
children from parents. Your parents think differently than you do.
41 Those differences may be in cooking, the hour you rise or in. more
important matters. Your parents look at things with eyes trained to
the past. Your eyes are on the future. You cannot see the same things.

Privacy

If you and your husband make love to each other, you will have
no privaCy. If you quarrel, even to ease tension, your parents or his
will interfere directly or indirectly. Even if they say nothing, you will
not be free to act as you should. You will be thinking of how your
parents will consider your acts. You and your husband-to-be need to
lean on each other and on no other person. The early days of your
marriage will be trying enough without outsiders on the spot to curb
your style. You and your husband will learn to know each other only
when you are by yourselves. You have a home of your own even if
it is only a room in a strange house.

t you

Page Five

DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE and The Legal Chronicle

You will bring your children up differently than your parents. If
are by yourselves, your parents cannot monopolize your ideas
about child-raising.

I have recently seen a number of cases illustrating how easy it is
to sidetrack good intentions, to move out. Outwardly both husband
and wife accept the sharing of quarters. Inwardly at least one of them
is boiling. You invite disaster and unnecessary quarreling if you
share space with the folks. The present generation and the previous
ones cannot be mixed. There is too much difference.

If you have no other choice, you must make the best of things.
Don't postpone your marriage because apartments are hard to find.
Enjoy life now. But be certain that you will get out in your own
rooms the very first chance you can make. It will pay dividends in
happiness.

Book Review

By LEON SAUNDERS

On Criticism

Criticism has existed since the arts began and, since criticism has
existed, artists have resented it. Samuel Johnson in his "Dick Minnie"
remarks: "Criticism is a study by which men grow important and
formidable at a very small expense. The power of invention has been
conferred upon few, but every man can exert such judgment as he
has upon words of others; and he whom nature made weak, and
idleness keeps ignorant, may support his vanity by the name of critic."

That is a harsh interpretation of the function of a critic. NOT
everybody can be a critic. Besides erudition and ability to expound
one's opinions, one must be endowed with a sense of right and wrong
and one must interpret an artist's work from the viewpoint of a defi-
nite Weltanshming. A critic cannot just declare peremptorily that he
likes or dislikes the given work of art. He must keenly decide whether
the work is art at all.

And that is why there are, like artists, critics who are impression-
ists, who will describe the thrill of pleasure they experienced while
reading, let's say, a poem by Browning, how it affected them and
what sensation it gives them.
On the other hand, an empirical critic may tell the impressionist,
"I am not interested in your sensation. I am interested in the poem.
To describe the state of your health does not help me to understand
the poem."
An historical criticism takes us away from the impressions of the
critic in search of environment. Psychological criticism takes us away
from the poem and sets us to work on the biography of the poet.
Dogmatic criticism sends us to Darwin, or Aristotle's "Poetics."
Aesthetics sends us further into speculations on art and beauty. And
so it is with every form of criticism. While in the middle ages Aristotle
was the supreme authority on all arts, Pietro Aretino insisted that there
is no rule except the whim of the genius and no standard of judgment
beyond individual taste.
Victor Cousin invented the famous formula, "Art for Art's sake,"
announcing that, "The fundamental rule is that expression is the
supreme law of art." Since then the struggle between the impression-
ist. and the realists and dogmatists has never ceased and the question
belongs now in the company of discussing the squaring of the circle or
p( rpetual motion.
What is art, and are there any standards of art? If one replies
that everybody is entitled to his taste, Mr. Hazzlit will rebutt that the
is merely another form of the declaration of an ignoramus. He may
not know anything about art, but he knows what he likes. To this
%Mistier would add: "So does the cow in the field."
In literature especially, taste must be supplemented by knowledge.

(Continued on ?age 1 3)

So They Tell Me--

By LOUIS W. ENFIELD

Continued from Last Week

Two weeks later, the plaintiff
received a long distance call. It
was from Pontiac, a place well out
of Wayne County which was the
limit of the distance circumscribed
by the bond. The call was from
Yachlepflaster.

"I'm out of Wayne County," he
said airily. "Come out with the
sheriff and get me."

The plaintiff dashed over to the
office of the sheriff. Rather than
argue, the sheriff sent a deputy
with him and the two drove out
to Pontiac. They came to the drug
store from which the call had
been made but the bird had long
since flown. When the plaintiff,
angry and weary, returned to his
office, there was a pert mesage
from his foe wishing him pleasure
in the trip.

This was the start of a game.
Calls came daily from all over the
state. Each time the plaintiff flew
to the sheriff who became colder
and colder to the chase. Yachle-
pflaster was having the time of
his life and the plaintiff's blood
pressure was going up steadily.

MAN CF THE WEEIc

Jolly, soft spoken, scholarly Charles Rubiner is saluted by the
CHRONICLE as the Man of the Week. Rubiner was born in Traverse
City, Michigan and received his Hebrew education from private tutors.

His parents moved to Detroit when he was a boy and he acquired
most of his education in this city. Very much interested in public
speaking and oratory, he joined the Philomathic Debating Club, the
old Jewish organization from which many of Detroit's prominent law-
yers have come. This interest in debating plus the desire to be his
own boss made Rainer turn toward law as a career and in due time,
he was graduated from the University of Detroit Law School and
had passed the bar.
Turns to Politics

Nine years was spent in the practice and then his interest turned
to politics. He accepted an appointment as assistant to the Attorney
General of Michigan, part of his duties being to be the legal counsel
to Governor Wilbur Brucker.
In the attorney general's office, he was assigned to the division
of taxation and constitutional law. In this connection, he was the attor-
ney for the state of Michigan when it was being sued by Wayne Coun-
ty for over a million dollars. It
was a very important law suit be-
cause, had the county been suc-
cessful, it would have opened the
door to law suits from every comi-
ty in Michigan. Fortunately, the
state won on all points.

His greatest pride, however,
comes from a case where he in-
tervened, on the part of the state,
in a compensation case at the re-
Finally, the sheriff refused to quest of the Michigan Federation
cooperate any more. He was deaf of Labor. The Supreme Court of
Michigan had laid down a decision
alike to threats and entreaties.
in the matter and after Rubiner'.s
"When you've got this bird tied
brief was read and studied, the
up and on his back out of the
court reversed itself. In the new
county," he said, "then I'll send a
decision, Justice Wiest acknowl-
man out to get him. Not before.'
edged that the Supreme Court was
Still the calls came in. The in error when it made the original
plaintiff was unable to Ignore decision. There are not more than
them and he was unable to do a few such cases in the entire
anything about them. He was a
history of Michigan law where the
prosperous business man but
Supreme Court has thus acknowl-
things were getting so bad that edged itself to be in error.
he was unable to talk to his cus-
Some time later, Rubiner made
tomers. He found himself in the
habit of grinding his teeth in a a speech condemning those mem-
way that made people fidgety in bers of the Michigan Legislature
his presence. In the course of his who worked for utilities and other
CHARLES RUBINER
day, he would find himself writing private interests who had legisla-
the name of Yachlepflaster on a tion at stake in which they were directly concerned. A legislative
piece of paper and then stabbing committee was appointed to investigate the speech and the charges
at it with a pencil until the point made in it. The result was that the legislature condemned the practice
broke. Once he did it with a foun- with a resolution.
tain pen and the point also broke.
Appointed Judge

Then Yachlepflaster slipped. He
called from a drug store two
blocks away and made an as-
tounding proposition. He was going
fishing, he said, in a lake just
north of Pontiac. He was willing
to say where he would be at a
certain time. The only thing he
wanted in return was forty dollars
to pay the expenses of his trip.

The plaintiff was beyond ordin-
ary judgment. He specified the
time and the place and sent his
check for forty dollars to his foe.
Then he went to the sheriff. That
worthy was not enthusiastic. In
fact, as he pointed out, the extent
of his indifference was colossal.

A little cash was introduced in-
to the picture. There were also a
few promises of favors the plain-
tiff could do. Last but not least,
there was a written agreement
that after this, the plaintiff was to
bother the sheriff no more on this
case. In return for all this, the
plaintiff was appointed a sheriff's
deputy with a gun and a badge.
His appointment, it was agreed,
was to be revoked within one
week.

Came the day.
At one o'clock, Yachlepflaster
was in the middle of the lake in a
rowboat. He was fishing away in
blissful abandon when the plain-
tiff arrived on the shore.

"Surrender, in the name of the
law!" yelled the plaintiff. At the
same time, he brandished his
badge and his gun.

"Come and get me," was the
placid reply.

The plaintiff leveled his gun.
"Come out, or I'll shoot," he
shouted.

There was no reply. Twice tne
finger closed in on the trigger
and twice it relaxed. The plaintiff
could not bring himself to shoot
to kill. Finally, he sat down under
a tree.
At long last, Yachlepflaster
rowed his boat to the other side
of they lake. As he got out and
started to make good his escape,
the plaintiff emptied his gun at
him. The intention was murderous
but the aim was bad. Yachlepflast-
er sauntered away to his car and
drove peacefully back to Detroit.
The plaintiff returned to the city
a broken man. He entered a satis-
faction of judgment on the record
and the bond was dismissed. He
went to see Yachlepflaster person-
ally and got him a job in Chicago.
He even paid the railroad fare.
For years thereafter, however,
he avoided with the greatest of
care any mention of the words
"jail" and "limits." He also de-
veloped a horror of law suits and
became a subscriber to the De-
troit Jewish Chronicle.

In 1931, Governor Brucker appointed Rubiner as a judge In the
Common Pleas Court of the city of Detroit. In 1933, he was a candi-
date for the position and was elected a judge for a term of six years.
In 1939, he ran again. At this time, in the bar primary, that is, the
vote of all practicing attorneys in the city, he led the ticket by a vote
that was twice as many as all his opponents plat together had. How-
ever a vicious anti-Semitic campaign was carried which Detroiters
still remember. Rubiner was defeated and with this defeat, he dropped
out of politics altogether and resumed his private practice.
"I like judicial work," he said ruefully, "but I couldn't stand the
politics connected with it."

Active in Community

Rubiner has taken an active part in community work for a long
time. He was formerly the president of the Jewish Community Center
and was the treasurer of Shaarey Zedek synagogue. He was also a
member of the Board of Governors of the Jewish Welfare Association
and vice-president of the United Hebrew Schools. He was a past
master of Perfection Lodge of Masons and chairman of the speakers
committee of the Community Fund. He was on the board of the
University of Detroit Alumni Association and also on the faculty of
the U. of D. Law School where he taught Legal Ethics and Statutory
Construction.
At present, Rubiner is a member of the Executive Committee of
the Jewish Community Council and a member of the board of the
Zionist organization. He is, by the way, an ardent Zionist and pre-
sented his interviewer with several pamphlets on the subject of Zionism.
Draft Board Chairman
He is an honorary member of the hoard of the Jewish Community
Center. He has been a chairman of a draft board since the beginning
of the war and on the wall of his office, he has hanging a certificate of
appointment to that position signed by the late Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Family Is Hobby

For relaxation, he reads historical novels when he is not reading
about Jewish problems. His real hobby, however, is his family which
consists of his wife and two boys. Jimmy, the elder, is in the navy
and is stationed at a U. S. Separation Center in Oklahoma. Jerry, the
younger, is a student at Central High School. Both boys have the
same kind of sense of humor as their father. Jimmy has a literary bent
with special ability along the lines of humorous understatement.
As regards the future of Jews in the United States, Rubiner had
this to say.

"The chief task of the American Jew is still to adjust Jewish life
to the surrounding culture without any loss to either but with gain
to both. I believe in a positive Jewish life as the best channel towards
the highest type of Americanism. Perhaps the greatest Jewish prob-
km is that of the escapist or the assimilationist."
In this connection, he is an ardent Zionist.
"I beleve in Zionism," he said, "because it will raise the dignity
and the status of all Jews in even the freest lands to have a country
of their own."

Good Story Teller

At one time, Rubiner used to be in great demand as a toastmaster.
Like his father before him, he has an anecdote to fit every occasion.
His stories have been repeated far and wide. All through the interview,
he explained his views with illustrations of things that had happened
to him and descriptions of the type of personalities involved. He also
has a long memory for the stories he has heard other speakers tell
at banquets where he was also on the speakers list. Of late, however,
he has not had much time to devote to speech making.
He was one of the organizers of the board of the Round Table of
Catholics, Protestants and Jews and has given many talks as the
Jewish member of such a trio.
He takes great pride in having been on the committee which first
organized the Jewish Community Council.
"The whole thing was organized around the personality of one
of Detroit's greatest Jews, Si Shetzer," he explained. "Si was a man
who was trusted by everybody. The great masses of the people here
had such confidence in him that they were willing to try out the
organization on his recommendation. At the same time, the so-called
classes, the people with large amounts of money, also had confidence
in him and were willing to accept his word as to the
need and t h e
practicability of such an organization. The Council has a brilliant fu-
ture ahead of it and is bound to be successful in its work.

