Page ! Friday, September 15 DETROIT JEWISH CHRONICLE and The Legal Chronicle 1944 Fr What's In A Name? - By CHARLES WARANOW ing himself a failure, was reluc- tant to attend and sit at the foot of the table in the company of Zalman Slotnick and other in- competents. He could not afford to court Jake's displeasure by his absence, however. When Max had been in the country seven years, he served as usher at the wedding of a friend. The groom had invited the foreman of the shop where he worked—a Scotchman named Angus MacGregor—and Max was delegated to see that MacGregor was honored with a place near the bridal couple at the head of the table and plied with plenty of food and drink, particularly the latter. MacGregor, however, did not arrive until after the grand march to the dining room. This was the era before the for- mality of place cards that went with what Max terms "ge-cat- ered" meals, and some one ap- propriated the place he had re- served for MacGregor. Max apol- ogized for the necessity of plac- ing him near the foot of the table rather than at the head. And the other laughed and said that since his name was Mac- Gregor, it made no difference where he sat. Puzzled by MacGregor's state- ment, Max asked him to explain what he meant, if his name is MacGregor it made no difference where he sat. And MacGregor related the familiar legend of the feast at the castle of a Scottish (Reprinted from Opinion) That very Scotch patronymic of, MacGregor borne by a man who se lingo trumpeted his origin in Minsk, intrigued me. "The nearest I get to Scot- land," laughed Max MacGregor, "Is the ship that brings me here passes a hundred miles outside Glasgow." That, said Max, was in De- 3mber of 1900, when he was 20 years old. His steerage ticket had been provided by his cousin, Jake Tash, then 10 years in the United States and prosperous. Max was duly impressed with Jake Tash's sumptuous home, when he came to the dinner, a week later, that Jake tendered his relations annually on the lighting of the first Chanukah candle. It was at once palpable to Max that, together with Jake, four cousins whom he especially favored constituted the family aristocracy. "Louie and Sadie, sit here by me on this side . . . You, Morris and Becky, on my other side .. . Sam and Ida, next to Louie and Sadie . . . Hyman and Etta, next to Morris and Becky." After surrounding himself with these couples, Jake grouped about a dozen other persons rather hurriedly and less ceremoniously, as of secondary importance, and then dismissed the remainder of his guests with wave of hand. "Look how they are holding back, like strangers!" In the latter category, Max found himself at the foot of the table in the company of some half dozen others in the green- horn-class. At Max's side sat Zalman Slotnick, a second cou- sin. True, Zalman was not a greenhorn. He was a fellow voy- ager of Jake Tash. But while Jake possessed energy and initia- tive, Zalman was a passive ne'er- do-well. Now, moreover, Zalman committed a breach of etiquette in belittling his host while gorg- ing himself with his evcellent food and drink. Their rich cous- in, he muttered, was an ignor- amus. A vulgarian. An exhibi- tionist. What was this dinner every Chanukah but amean s, like adorning his wife with dia- monds and seal-skincoat, of pro- claiming his success to the world! But approach Jake for a favor, sneered Zalman, and see how far you would get. From Zalman, Max learned the status of his relations. Louie manufactured men's clothin g. Sam—women's wear. Morris op- erated in real estate. Hyman had a flourishing hardware store. And sitting next to a Zalman who was consumed with jealousy of Jake and his other successful cousins, Max foresaw a day— not too far in the future—when Jake must acknowledge his prog• less by inviting him to sit with the elect at the head of the table. To part of Zalman's appraisal of their mutual cousin, Max agreed. He found Jake Tash vul- gar and egotistic. But Zalman's charge that one appealed to him in vain for any favor was not true in Max's case. Max warmly acknowledged his indebtedness to Jake. He was never refused the loan of sums up to a hundred dollars, or the endorsement of a small note. He could freely refer to Jake as a business reference; and Jake always listened sympa- thetically to Max's problems and offered shrewd, constructive ad- vice. Max's early years in this coun- try represented the struggle typ- ical of many an immigrant. For months and months he would tramp the countryside with a pack of notions scourging his back, and in a few weeks lose the fruits of his labor in the operation of a small store. Then a return to peddling or factory work until he had accumulated a new stake for another business venture. His commercial fiascos Max blamed on the fact that he oper- ated on a very small capital. He felt that if he once knew the bliss of operating on big capital, I success would be assured and Rosh Hashonah Greetings rapid. "And ask me what was to me in them days big capital," chuck- led Max. "A thousand dollars!" From time to time Max drop- 13753 Woodward Ave. ped a subtle hint to Jake of the Highland Park magic he could perform with a thousand dollars. The astute TO. 8.8191 Jake, however, chose to remain obtuse to Max's hints. • Thus passed several years. Each Chanukah Jake Tash invited Max HELP BACK THE ATTACK for the • elaborate dinner. 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Fullerton CA. 9143 • FDR TOM'S QUALITY MARKET Allen's Men's Wear • chief at which other leading With this conclusion, a bright chiefs were among the guests, idea struck Max. While realizing !including the influential Mac- that a name like Magofsky was Gregor. MacGregor, however, ar- rather a handicap in the business riving when the feast was al- world, he had not been able to ready in progress, did not get decide on a new name that a place near the head of the would bear a resemblanc e to table to which his rank entitled old. And here was a n a m e mad e him but was forced to sit with to order! the lesser gentry at the foot of "How far is it Alite(4..gor from the table. Wishing to placate Magofsky?" d e ill a n 11 c ti Max his important guest the host said "'Every time you give your that it was MacGregor's own name or sign your name,' I sa id fault that he was not seated at to myself, 'it'll remind you, Max the head of the table; whereupon MacGregor, that, like the Scot ch. the arrogant MacGregor delivered man MacGregor, where you sit a classic retort: "Where Mac- See NAME—Pag e 15 Gregor sits, there is the headgi of the table!" "Pretty good, eh!" said Max. "In other words, what's the dif- cic40 ference where a man sits—it's - I hope Americans the man himself that's impor- will figure out for tant. I said to myself: 'Alva! That is a lesson! It don't make themselves addi- no difference that your cousin tional payroll say- Jake Tash keeps you sitting with ings. the greenhorns and Zalman Slot- nick and other no-accounts at the foot of the table. If you got the stuff in you, Max Magofsky, you can be like MacGregor 2/ Where you sit can be the head of the table.• Rheaume's Restaurants