A merica Avis* Periodical Cotter 942 CTORY he 'hed b•i- rior 27th Year of Service to State and Country BUY cram A MTN' Detroit Jewish Chronicle ppse S Aso PS list- the nat- the our the ire. uch ust los- eli- 'ph ()(1, lag m- ul me tat be He ire on ny CLIFTON AVENUE - CINCINNATI 20, OHIO and The Legal Chronicle VOL. 44, NO. 37 A DETROIT, MICHIGAN. FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER II. 'fear's Greetings to All PLAIN TALK MUEHLIG 8 LANPHEAR Hardware Happy Ness' Year to All! by AL SEGAL PHONE 2-3277 mit (It. ing days after he has suffered congregations most of his adult life, as many a rabbi has had to do. is- .1 Happy Ness' Year to All QUALITY BAKERY 147 S. MAIN ST. PHONE 4014 N A ItItnIt, M I Le Shono Tovo Tikosevu Prekete's SUGAR BOWL Home Made 'ere Cream E4 Candies Beer—Wine The Best Meals in the City 109 S. MAIN ST. ANN ARBOR, MI•II Rosh Hashonah Greetings to All! Francisco b Boyce Photo Co. 723 N. University Phone 4514 Yes, a rabbi at least should have enough to bury him after it's all over and he is at last allowed to seek the serenity of his grave. His grave must be a happy end for a rabbi or minister who has been like Prometheus upon whose vitals the vultures fed as he lay chained on Mt. Caucasus through many years. He is the one who stole fire from heaven in order to confer it as a blessing upon man and for that he was punished by the vultures feeding on his vitals. All this makes me dreadfully mindful of how narrowly I myself escaped being a rabbi. At the end of my second year in the Hebrew Union College the authorities decided that Judaism might be more kindly served if I did not return to their seminary—a conclusion creitable both to their foresight and their compassion. Now, well along in life—it's much better than I like to think—I let myself fall into solemn moments in which I consider how much happier I am as a columnist than I would have been as a rabbi. On those occasions my errant fancy takes hold of me and I become Rabbi Segal of K. K. Anshe Giborim Temple who is in his study, deep in his Sabbath sermon, when his wife intrudes with an interruption. She has bought a new red hat . . . "What do you think of it?" she asks. "My dear," Rabbi Segal replies, "did you have to come bursting into my sermon with this new hat at this moment? Don't you ever stop to consider? I may be in the very midst of a thought . . . and come bursting in with a hat . . . A red hat, besides!" "And what's the matter with a red hat?" she asks. "I think it's very lovely." "Don't you ever stop to think, my dear? You wearing it red hat! You, the rabbi's wife wearing it red hat! Don't you realize the challenge that's in a red hat? A red hat is far too conspicuous and advertises to every woman in the congre- gation that you are wearing a new hat." ' "So what? I'll wear what I please. I'm not going to let my life be regulated by those . . . those harpies." Ann Arbor, Mich "Shush, shush, my dear, not so loud" . . . Rabbi Sega: pulls down the windows . . . "We've got to be careful. You know what they'll say. They'll say you have bought another new hat at their expense. It's hard enough getting along with them even without flaunting a red hat at Rosh Hashonah Greetings to A11 1.1 them. Did you have to get a red hat?" Rabbi Segal recalls his recent sermon on "The Wages of Sin." It practically divided the con- gregation against him. All the most influential members of the congregation said that wages was nothing for a rabbi to mention. Rabbis should keep off economic problems. Wages was 612 E. LIBERTY AVE. for business men to worry about, not rabbis. PHONE 2-3194 To be sure, none of the men of the con- gregation actually had heard Rabbi Segal's ser- Ann Arbor, Mich. about it from their wives . . . "He preached something on wages," their wives said. When the matter was brought up at the next meeting of the board, Rabbi Segal had protested: "But, gentlemen, I spoke on the wages of sin. It was perfectly harmless." The president of the congregation replied that anyway he shouldn't have mentioned sin . . "The goyim may think you are reflecting on them if you mention sin. Good will is our motto." Rabbi Segal has all this in mind as he looks at his wife's challenging new red hat . . . "Be- sides," he says, "you look too good in that hat. You know they can't tolerate the wife of the rabbi looking any prettier than they." He sighs almost regretfully as he regrets his wife's slim figure. The years had treated her kindly enough and left her still graceful. Her slender figure had brought them only the envy of members' wives who looked at their own increasing girth and were distressed by invidious comparisons. It had been one affliction after another in all the years of Rabbi Segal in his various con- gregations . . . The time he was reprimanded for his sermon against the slums . . . "Rabbi, don't you know some of the best Gentiles own the tenement houses?" . . . The time he served cocktails in his house . . . "Rabbi, cocktails are all right in their place—in a member's house" . . . The time he came out in favor of electing a decent Board of Education • . . "Rabbi, you should be careful. You're making us too con- spicous" . . . The time his (laughter appeared in shorts at a tennis tournament . . . "Rabbi Segal, we don't think a rabbi's (laughter should show her legs in public" . . . The time he was scolded for not being seen enough in the public affairs of the community, such at Rotary Club meetings . . . "Rabbi, don't you think it would be better for the Jewish community if the rabbi got around more?" . . . The time he was re- buked for being too much in the public limelight . . . "Rabbi Segal, it's to our best interests that the rabbi shouldn't be too prominent in the public. Please, just lay low" . . . The time he took the trip to Europe . . . "He takes trips to Europe. Do we take trips to Europe?" Now his wife had bought this red hat. He was getting along in his years and lie desired only peace, but a red hat on his wife's head would make more trouble . . . "Please, my dear, take it back. Can't you buy a new black one that nobody will notice?" * * . Jacobsons Ladies Apparel Ann Arbor Bedding Co. Mattresses and Feat hers Renovated Down Comfoners. Pillows, Mat- tresses and Box Springs, Made The Case of' the Red Hat" Congregations vote that way, there will be pensions for retired Reform rabbis hereafter. I hope no congregation will vote against this. It's all a matter of congregations being socially decent. Anyway, it seems to me, a rabbi is entitled to rest and comfort in his few remain- TATE SUPPLEMENT 10c Single Copy; $3.00 Per Yea 1942 congregations of the Union of American Hebrew mon, since it was given on Saturday. They heard 311 SOUTH MAIN ST. N " S Thank goodness, I sigh, I am a columnist instead of a rabbi. As a columnist I don't have to meet the customers face to face, and I may drink cocktails and my daughter could wear shorts at tennis, if I had a daughter. And my wife may safely wear a red hat. Yes, rabbis are entitled to pensions at the end of it all. The proposed pension plan pro- vides that the congregation shall pay a small percentage of the rabbi's salary into the pension fund, the rabbi himself shall pay something to- ward the fund and the Central Conference of American Rabbis also will contribute. This is all in line with the social justice that to Jews always has been a peremptory mandate. 1001 Broadway Phone 6652 Ann Arbor, Mich. A Happy and Prosperous New Year Diehl Wreckers GARAGE SERVICE Parts for All Makes of Cars Reasonable Prices--Glass Reset 1773 PLYMOUTH RD. PHONE 2 2327 - ANN Alt lc , 11:, I Rosh Hashonah Greetings JOE'S SNAPPY SERVICE 332 S. MAIN Ann Arbor, Mich. , Season's Greetings and Best Wishes AMERICAN RUG CLEANING WORKS 1032 GREEN ST. PHONE 8115 ANN A1111111:, Rosh Hashonah Greetings THE QUARRY Inc. Camp Support—Artificial Limbs Sick Room Equipment Surgical Instruments Splints, Trusses, Hospital Supplies 320 SOUTH STATE ST. PHONE 2-3109 ANN Ann( In, MI4'11 —BUY WAR BONDS New Year's Greetings to All SINCERE HOLIDAY GREETINGS Varsity Flower Shop E. l'EltItINE out S. t•N IvEtt.sun. ANN Alt13011, Mutt The Ann Arbor Press EBERBACH 8 SON CO., INC. 5703 - HAPPY NEW YEAR - 1942 Ann Arbor, Mich. SLATER'S INC. Books--- Supplies Rosh Hashanah Greetings to Our Jewish Friends ANN ARBOR CITY BUS LINE PHONE 6419 ANN ARBOR, MICH. Manufacturers and Dealers SCIENTIFIC INSTRUMENTS—CHEMICAL APPARATUS—REAGENTS A. J. Wiltse, Mgr. 3 1 7 Maynard SEASON'S UST WISHI.S . 336 So. STATE ST. Phone 3814 Ann Arbor Mich. —BUY WAR BONDS- 200 E. LIBERTY ANN ARBOR, MICH. SEASON'S GREETINGS AND BEST WISHES TO A1.1.! 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