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and
my sportsmanship won them, now
very
attribute of
,
they .,, litro ow myth fa ac t e.ve
My fir
They
lion
want an intellectual and religious
By ANNA GOLDINA ABELSON.
rabbi now. But is a man a god? if
' they expect a minister to be an or-
practical. I will tell you how I put ' nament at their stylish dinners, to go
my husband on his feet and made , about drumming business for the
Daisy Singer's thin little mouth somebodies out of my children. But temp., ,
to amuse the ladies while
1
screwed up into a coquettish pout. for the present, so long."
their husbands are busy playing
"Oh, dear," she grumbled affectedly,
Al last the popular, successful pinochle, if a rabbi to be successful
"why are the men so long at this rabbi ,was walking towards his hotel
must become a baseball fan, when,
meeting when I am just dying to to change his clerical attire for his
for goodness sake, has a man time to
know who was elected? Goodness dress suit, and then to present him-
open a book or to think? Why, I
knows, I don't want them to choose self at the pinochle Mrs.lierman Lo-
feel already as rusty as a stingy land-
a married man. They have two mar- wenstein was giving that night in his
. lord's water pipes.
ried candidates, haven't they, Bar- honor. "Who could ever think," he
"Only a new sensation will win me
ry?" And she gave the rose Turkish mused, "that such stuff would take a new election. I cannot play sick
rug a kick with the tip of her tiny with them? I nearly was scared out,
in order to be able to shower cum-
kid boot.
of my wits when I found myself rat-, pliments on the kind ladies' jellies
- iiarry" was short for. Harriet, a fling on about pleasure and success and cookies; that stunt is stale now.
short, plump, lively lady of 42, with and what not. But once a man is off If only I had an aunt willing to die
a girlish form and a grizzled pompa- the trucks, the best way to make pro at this psychological moment, or an
dour. Mrs. Harriet Rosenberg was pie notioe it is try and get
e
en "., uncle to leave me an estate, but wait
considered sweet and idealistic; she again. So I just put on it br
, —1 have an idea! My tailor shall be
ave
had a rumored past and a host of front and rattled on as boldly as I by savior. Dear old Thomas Carlyle
other attainments. She could paint knew how. Anti now this glory! with his "Sartor Resartus," If my
beautiful roses on china, sing some- Well, well, such is humanity. There
' tailor shall save me, ler old Tom
thing like Patti, compose sonatas is no use in making myself believe laugh. It will be a real holy cloak.
which some people enjoyed more that my eloquence impressed them, It must be unique in style, distin-
than Beethoven's; she could recite or the truth of my words; no, it was guished looking, a la Byron or Bona-
fashionable poetry—she was just fin- 1, the man in the flesh. And so they parte affair with flowing capes—
ished in accomplishments. But her never heard what I said but took all something to take the ladies. I ae
cardinal charm was her way of wear- for granted that it was true.
y— but he said nothing more. Ile
"Yes ' sa-"
ing simple gowns and hats. As a my mother, God shield her soul, al-
jus t snatched his hat and overcoat
very dear friend of hers once said: way s said to me: 'Bennie, it
your
.
i
is
v
"Harriet can be so alluringly coy and yellow curls that will make you!'.r and rushed out.
IV.
so ostentatiously simple."
and he wistled light-heartedly.
-
ex-
"Oh, you wicked creature!" Har-
"By the way, gentlemen, you have E.-
,
III.
riet piously cried. "Oh, what a sin-
me
a
social
visit,"
solid
t
never ye
Rabbi Bennie Gimpel rushed - into Rabbi yet el with his bland smile, =
ful wish! Why, it is the married men
who should receive most considera- the room of his hotel, flung his hat
..I bowi ng out the three gentlemen who
tion—a man with a wife and chil- on his desk, and fell into a chair.
came as a committee from their tem-
dren." Daisy Singer tossed back in am done for," he muttered, wiping de to inform him of his re-election
scorn her raven coiffure and queried: away the perspiration from his brow. P
as their rabbi for another term of
Wicked? I should say not. A min- "It's all lost." His first term as rabbi three years, with an increase of sal-
ister should be married only to his of "The Gates of Prayer" of Form- arY into the bar
bargain. "I have a fine
church. I am for a single man who ington was drawing to a close, and box of 'llavanas.' Como up some
will center all his thoughts and am- he had been out all clay canvassing
the
three of you, and we
,
for a new election under the respect- ev,ealne
bition on—"
will have a jolly smoking! iarty."
•
•
social
ca s„
"On the ladies of his temple!" able pretense of making
d
n, p resient
members of h i s of Mr. Herman Lowens tei
all
broke in Mrs. Herman Lowenstein, but
a nsw ered 51
ates of l' rayer
"The
thew that they unde r -
the hostess, with a laugh. "Oh, you temple
temalmet
l osthim kno
stood
what
he
came
for,
and
each
that
they
would
be
very
glad
to
wicked Daisy, isn't that what you
want? Own up, you little vixen, made him feel that his efforts were come; then, as he' stopped in the
in
vain.
One
glorified
the
rabbi
of
doorway
and
took
in
the
neat
order
don't you want a rabbi to play cards,
luxuriance of his rabbi's suite of
dance and take the girls out, and, the modern Orthodox synagogue of 41ind
that city, saying that he was a great rooms, he added: "I say, Doc, the
and—" •
"Are you ladies discussing the rab- intellectual force, and a worthy chambermaid treats you well here; I
bi?" came the hoarse, masculine spiritual head of any Jewish corn-. never saw a nicer and cleaner room.
voice of Mr. Lowenstein, president of munity. Another had spoken of one Yes, we'll come and enjoy a smolt(
Frank J. Shader
(Formerly of J. J. Jacobson & Co.)
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the "Gates of Prayer, an unpolished of his colleagues of a Reformed tern- some evening.
Stout Mr. Jellobsky put in that
half of the fair speaker he had justple of that city, saying that his bril-
interrupted as he entered. "Well liancy and eloquence had gained fur Rabbi Gimpel could get on with the
may the world say that women sup- him national fame, and how such fair sex as a rule, whereupon they
port the church today and not the honor was also honor for his cong.re- all laughed. Mr. Asher then recalled
men. Fair ladies," and he rubbed his gation. One had even hinted to him that his two daughters had volun-
palms together in elation, "allow me rather cynically that big brains and teered to sing in the choir that sea-
to announce that the Rev. Bennie small physique go so often hand in son. "I shall certainly be charmed
Gimpel is the lucky fellow, and, if hand, and that just as some pretty with their music," answered the rabbi
I am not mistaken, he is a typical girls are of no practical use in a with a gallant bow.
kitchen, and serve best as an orna-
ou don't know what the
ladies' man."
,,A. you
"Hurrah!" cried Daisy, clapping ment at a frivolous party, "So, too," holies have done for your re-elec-
her dimpled hands in glee. "Hurrah!" he Kidd, "can a pair of broad shoal- lion," Mr. Lowenstein remarked,
sang out the whole pleased company. tiers alone never solve the yearnings, glancnig archly at the other commit-
The gentlemen from the other of a religious soul." It was like teemen. "Why, there is Harriet Ro-
room now filed in and fell into chairs heaping hot coals on his head, a- senberg,
that
very ' magnetic lady with
,
and sofas, darkening somewhat with these taunts and jibes, and the holy the largest circle of Christian friends
their somber attire the bright parlor man's breast now roared with flames --do you know, Doctor„-that she sc-
with the gay evening gowns of the ot wrath. "The liars," he muttered tuslly had Governor Norton sign a
between his teeth. "Oh, their fickle statement that you are the greatest
gentler sex.
"Well, well, dis Gimpel got mine hearts and lying tongues! As if they, rabbi in the world? Ah, you will
vote, I tell you; he is jest her man ever give a snap for their souls. Not never know how much our ladies
we was looking for. I always say we to speak of saving their religious I have done for you—"
must have no more of dem Bible fel- souls. They're looking for a change, ,
The Rabbi smiled sadly, inwardly
lows. We want a modern rabbi," nothing more. The ladies want a new
that they would never know
and Mr. Jellobsky sat puffing and pastor to gaze at them and pay them , praying
, much he did know, and then the
panting in the spacious morris chair. pretty compliments." lie laughed a how
religious committee withdrew. .Witt
"Now, I says to myself, says 1," bitter laugh. "A fig for their whole' . ecstatic swiftness the rabbi clam!
a great
i
began Mr. I.owenstein. "'Now, look religion! At first I was
the door,
and hugged orator
himself to his
here,' says I, 'we men have no time to them; baseball, athletics, wrestling very heart. His eyes fel on his amok-
for the temple, it's business for us,' and all sorts of gaities were veritable .
s profusely laden with flow-
gospels to them, anti now, now they mg and
table gifts; but quickly he averted
says I, 'and the lathes are the real gospels
prop and support of the Lord and His tell me I never speak to them about
his eyes, ashamed and disgusted,
representatives,' says I, 'then it is God and His laws; I have not given,
only just and proper for us to get a them a higher outlook of life; 1 do• On tip toes he stole over to his
divine to suit their hearts—a sporty not bring God tee them, but only the.wardrobe, flung it open, drew forth
fellow who doesn't hang on too much world's vulgarities and vanities; they his new coat, hung it on the rack,
to his brain, and that, I understand,' want to be inspired, they say; they and with a queer smile stood con-
are thirsting for a bit of religion; the templating it. Then he swung back
says I, 'is Rabbi Gimpel to a "T."'
"I seen his picture in a friend's last minister spoke of God and His. the lid of his trunk, scattered the con-
house in Chicago," now spoke Mr. Book, and I never mention to them tents on the carpet, picked up a roll
Weigoff, a wealthy Russian Yahudi, the Bible at all. But it's a lie; don't of parchment, unrolled it, and read
"and I tell you, I gif fife to one that I know that they chose me from so, over his ministerial diploma. Then
you never guess him to be a Jew. A many candidates, not for my religioual he laughed, and the hollow echo of
his laugh terrified him. Ile held the
shaigits, he looks, a real gentile; dat convictions, but decidedly for my I
is the fellow we want for a repre- modern, shoddy, worldly, frivolous, coat in one hand the diploma in an-
sentative."
pleasure-mad views of life, and for other, and little, unwilling, impish
"It'll give us a 'good eye' to the my lack of faith?" Ile bit his nails; laughs rolled out of his throat.
"Why did I ever study at all?" he
gentile, you know, to have a cham- he was nervous, and he walked back
pion pitcher and editor of a baseball and forth, fuming at the congrega- I queried. "Who wants my wisdom?
journal as minister; kind of free and Lion. "No, it won't do; I cannot al-1 It has only proven a stumbling block
modern, vou kno•," and Mr. Plobsky low them to dismiss me after being: to my success. It's the cloak, the
winked his weak pink eyes at the with them but one year; it will break cloak," he chuckled; "all is nothing,
'young lady near whom he had seated my career." And then there flashed, my cloak is all—my cloak, my holy,
across his brain the thought of his godly cloak is all!"
himself.
having to resort again to friends of
Then he grew' afraid. Some one
"Oh, doctor, the services were influence, to beg for recommends- laughed with him. There with a
beautiful, simply magnificent," cried tions, references; to whine for a good drop•jaw leer stood Satan, mocking
. the shrill voice of Daisy Singer as word from successful upstart col- him. Cynical men are superstitious.
she allowed her two little hands to be leagues, to flatter them, to put him- Rev. Bennie Gimpel, for all his titles,
crushed in the large palm of her self under painful obligations to them was afraid. Down fell the world-
pastor. "Everyone says it was a real so as to get another position; and conquering cloak, away rolled popu-
treat to hear you. Your thoughts the little human delicacy in him felt larity, vain success; into the dust
outraged. "It will be more difficult sank his victory, his vanity and
are so cute and modern!"
Jellobsky's huge bulk was seen to climb if I fall now," he cried, "and' glory; and hugging a mite of con-
waddling towards the pulpit. "Re- yet I cannot fawn. I might go and science and a rag of a soul to his
. verend," he panted, "you're a real propose to Lowenstein's fat sister— heart, humbly the rabbi stole out.—
cracker-jack; you jest hit the right no, I won't do that either; I must The Jewish Forum.
spot today. I'm glad you cut out think of something else."
"Now, there is that brainy fellow,
all religious stuff in the pulpit—sure,
we've outgrown dat long ago. Well, Goodkind, who has made quite a
PROF. ASCOLI A SUICIDE
place
for himself in law, though he
you gave us tonight the dinkiest lit-
tle sermon I heard in a long while. was a failure in the ministry. 'Gim-
pel,'
he
said
to
me
one
day,
'you
ought
Now, you jest stick to me; I'm your
PARIS.-1.1. T. A.)—It is report-
friend. Come around to see me and to make a successful minister. The ed from Rome that Professor Moishe
I'll give you some good points on how temple wants broad shoulders to up- Ascoli, a leading figure in the Jewish
to make a sermon," and bestowing hold it. The ladies are the chief community in that city, and son-in-
on the bewildered minister a know- worshipers today, and to them a pair law of the late Ernest Nathan, com -
of broad shoulders can sooner bring
ing wink, he waddled off.
mitted suicide yesterday. Professor'
Then pretty Mrs. Rosenberg came home Israel's mission than a pure Ascoli had been suffering from a pro-
forward: "Oh, what a gem, Rabbi, heart and a wise, original and cre- longed and serious illness.
what a masterpiece of sermon! 1 ou ative mind.' But it is not so, my
see, I know the real thing when I wise Goodkind; they even tire of us
hear it. I am not to be taken in by evangelists of the flesh. Neither the
mere bombast and catch-phrases, and angel nor the devil can hold them;
oh, how you have elevated my soul, but what is left to the devil when he
is flung aside? Nothing! It isn't
my spirit!"
Now the pompous Mrs. Howitzer beauty, scholarship, eloquence or
squeezed out of the crowd and rushed spirituality that counts; it is not the
up to the pulpit. "Oh, Doctor," she wise or simple, big or little, good or
cried, actually puffing out with en- bad—it is change, change, change;
thusiasm, "you spoke the very senti- they want a variety theater in the
ments of my heart tonight. I always pulpit today; it is just another symp-
tell the folks that I couldn't be a tom of their diseased nerves—they
Jewess if I were not practical. Some are always seeking • change! Like
day, when you come to see me, I'm children tiring of their toys, the con-
going to tell you all about my life, gregations tire of their rabbis!
and you will see how practical that
'A year ago I was • genius; today
always was, I might say romantically
am unfit for the pulpit. At first
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