THE JEWISH CHRONICLE
The only Jewish publication in the State of Michigan
Devoted to the interests of the Jewish people
.
DETROIT, MICH., MAY 26, 1916
Vol. I. No. 13
$1.50 per Year
Single Copies 5 Cents
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We Steal Across the Border
By SHOLEM ALEICHEM
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(Translated by Marion Weinstein)
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train. So
through the who
everybody laughs at them. My
brother Elihu and our chum Pini
have been left in the air, neither
here nor there. Pini is near-sighted,
so he keeps bumping his head.
"So you are going to New
York ?" says one of the, other Jews
on the train, "we are going to Phil-
adelphia."
"What is that—'Philadelphia' ?"
asks Pini.
"A city, like New York."
"Wait a minute !" cries another.
"Philadelphia beside New York is
like Ayshishok compared to Wilna,
Drozshne to Odessa, Otvotzk to
Warsaw, Simianovke to St. Peters-
burg."
"Leave that for the Sabbath. I
would rather you'd tell me : What
can we do about the border ?"
"You will do what we'll do, what
everybody does."
Then they all huddle up close and
talk of stealing the border. I don't
understand. What does that mean,
"steal the border ?" Are we
thieves?
Sh ! We are already at the border.
My brother , Elihu and our chum
Pini are not here. They are trot-
ting around with sonic strangers,
Jews. I don't know them. My
mamma says they are agents.
Agents will steal the border with us.
There is sonic woman buzzing
around them too. She looks like a
pious and honest woman. She
wears a wig and talks of God all
the time. She asks my mamma
where she expects to bless the Sab-
bath eve candles. My mamma says
SHOLEM ALEICHEM
that we will not spend the Sabbath
ding shows he has the nerve to call Who sleeps ! I would be satisfied here. Saturday, she says, we shalt
them "rags !“ We decide that one if I could even find a place to sit. he, with God's help, on the other
of us will have to go to the station And just for spite the train is so side. The woman puts on a pious
packed it's a wonder we don't expression and says : "Amen, dear
master. Who? Naturally, Pini.
Pini and the Coy go out. I fol- choke. Besides our crowd there Lord!" But she is afraid, she adds,
Of course, the Goy did not swal-
low them. Pini uses altogether dif- are a lot of passengers, Jews and that we are being buncoed. The
low this. He called Pini all kinds
Goyim. They all scrap over the agents we are dealing with, she
of names. We were afraid of a ferent language to the station mas- seats. That fuss about the bedding
says, are downright thieves. They
scandal, of the police. My mamma ter. He is not so rough. talks made us late. The best seats have
will bamboozle us out of our money,.
and
saws
the
air
with
his
hands.
began to wring her hands and cried
been
taken.
she says, and lead us into a swamp.
He lets fall the strangest words,
to Pini :
At last we have settled the If we wish, she says, to steal the
"Who asked you to come out with words that I have never heard in all
women on the floor with the bun- border, why not steal it with her?
my
life
:
"Columbus,"
civilization,"
your tongue and show what you
"Alexander von Humboldt," "Slo- dles. My mamma is on one side of
My brother Elihu has come back
can do?"
the
train,
Brocha
and
Taibel
across
with
our chum Pini. \Ve begin to
"Don't be afraid. The Goy will nimski," "mathematics'' — I have
pocket a half ruble and we'll soon forgotten the rest ! The station mas- from her. When they want to talk bargain with the pious woman. We
to each other they have to shout give her a deposit and she tells us
ter listens to Pini and looks him
be friends."
IDING on the train is like
heaven. - Liezar's wagon
isn't half bad either, but it
shakes you all up and makes your
sides ache—something awful. His
horses really do fly like eagles. Still,
we were more dead than alive by
the time we reached the railroad
station. Liezar did it all. He may
be a mean Jew and swear with
deadly curses, but he is an honest
and trusty driver. Too bad he de-
serted us with our bundles and our
bedding at the station and went off
to hunt new passengers for the re-
turn trip. \Ve were left alone,
stranded.
First of all the Goy (Gentile) at
the station began to bother' us be- -
cause of our bundles. And not so
much because of the bundles as the
bedding. As if it were any of his
business that we are taking a lot of
pillows with us ! • My mamma tries
to smooth his feathers. She ex-
plains that we arc on our way to
America. But he looks murder and
tells us to go to a place that I am
ashamed even to mention.
"We must fix it up with the Goy
—we must slip him something," says
my brother Elihu to our chum Pini.
Our chum Pini is our leader, our
brains. He can speak a fine Rus-
sian. Too bad he is a little hot-
headed. My brother Elihu has a
healthy temper, too, but he doesn't
get excited in a minute, like Pini.
Pini flares right up at the least little
thing and spits fire. He goes over
to the Goy and opens up a conver-
sation with him.
"Now you just listen to me, you
shrimp! The black plague will not
catch you because we are 'going to
America with a lot of pillows and
bedding. We'll give you a drink of
vodka—and you can keep quiet, you
pig !,)
And so it was. They really made
up. Pini poured out a flood of Rus-
sian. The Coy never stopped
swearing while lie carried all our
bundles and all our pillows•into the
station.
And now our real troubles be-
gan. The Coy says we can't go
into the train with so Many pillows
and so many rags. I suppose lie
means our quilts. just because the
lining is a little torn and the wad-
over without a word. I suppose
l'ini gave him all that was coming
to him ! Still, that did not do a bit
of good either. We had to leave all
our bedding in the baggage and
take out a receipt.
My mamma was beside herself.
She kept asking: "On what will
we sleep?"
My mamma did not need to wor-
ry about what we would sleep on.